The Fleischer Files
by LuluCalliope
Summary: When three bored teenagers fall into the world of Roger Rabbit, they uncover shocking secrets about the Toon Patrol, fall in love, and become pawns in a case that could kill not just hundreds of innocent Toons...but could destroy their childhoods. Dedicated to x-The Devil's Advocate-x. Rating may change. Please review my first fangirls story!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The doorbell rang, and Alicia went to answer the door. The last person to arrive at the slumber party was there. She didn't know Alicia that well, but she was really good friends with Jenna, the other person present at the slumber party.

"Hey there," she grinned. "You must be Alicia! I'm Lulu! It's so nice to meet you!"

"I'm Alicia," the hostess replied, hugging her hello. "It's nice to meet you, too! Come on in! We're getting ready to watch a movie!"

"Awesome!" Lulu said, following her into the other room, where Jenna was waiting. She ran up to hug Lulu when she saw her.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" She said when they pulled apart. "We're going to watch Roger Rabbit first!"

"Oh, sweet, I love that movie!" Lulu said enthusiastically, setting up her sleeping bag. For a while, the three of them were quiet as they watched the screen. The silence was broken when Lulu sighed dreamily. Alicia looked over at her and shot her a funny look. "What are you staring at?"

"Him," Lulu said wistfully, pointing at the leader of the Toon Patrol: a weasel in a light pink suit. "He's so dreamy…"

Jenna snorted. "He's wearing a hot pink suit!"

"Light pink," Lulu corrected dramatically. "And tough guys wear pink! He's a tough guy…I love tough guys…and he has an amazing voice!" She squealed, hugging a pillow to her chest. Jenna laughed and threw another pillow at her. Lulu tossed it back at her. "Anyway, you two should talk!" She pointed at Jenna. "You've been staring at that icky one ever since he went onscreen! You like him!"

"Yeah, so what if I do?" Jenna asked, blushing a little. They were referring to another weasel, one that was wearing a green suit. He had a pretty sexy voice, too. He spoke with a heavy Spanish accent, one that drove Lulu wild, too.

"He's creepy!" Alicia protested.

"Yeah, and Eddie Valiant is the American dream!" Jenna shot back. "Just picture it…" She got to her feet theatrically. "You and he…moving into a three-story house, having two kids…you'll stay home and cook and clean, and every night he'll come home with a bottle in hand."

"Okay, so he's a drunk! But nobody's perfect!" Alicia said, also blushing a little. Lulu laughed.

"It doesn't matter," she told Alicia. "He has Dolores."

"That's true," she admitted. "Still…I can dream!""

After that, they were quiet. They fell asleep before the movie was over. They hadn't even bothered to change into their pajamas yet. Lulu was tired from the drive over to Texas, Alicia was tired from school, and Jenna was bored by the lack of weasels that were onscreen. She wasn't too happy about going to bed this early: it was still eleven, not even midnight.

"I have a huge AP Macroeconomics project that I should be working on," Lulu yawned before she passed out. "But I'm too lazy."

"Join the club," Jenna told her, and Alicia rolled her eyes and smiled. They slept until about six in the morning. Lulu was up first. She nudged Jenna and Alicia awake. "What should we do today?"

"Let's go for a walk," Alicia suggested, rubbing her eyes. "I like watching the sunrise." The other two nodded and after they had all brushed their teeth and hair, left the house and went for a walk.

"You live in a very urban part of Texas," Lulu observed as they walked out of the house.

"I know, right?" Alicia said. "They're always building new stuff around these parts. The construction is driving me crazy! It makes so much noise!"

"Well, as long as it doesn't seem to be coming from one specific house, everything should be fine…" Lulu commented.

Jenna shot her a weird look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lulu grinned. She was sweet fifty percent of the time, but during the other fifty percent she had a sick sense of humor and a desire to tell sick stories. She knew a lot of good stories about Al Capone, Ed Gein, and other serial killers. "Well," she began ominously, "my mom lived in Chicago when there was this popular clown…a guy named Pogo the Clown. His real name was John Wayne Gacy…and his neighbors complained about him because he was always doing construction work on his house…but later, they found out that he was keeping the bodies of the boys he murdered underneath the floorboards!"

"Gross!" Alicia exclaimed, covering her ears.

"That makes several of the Disney villains look like saints!" Jenna said.

"Now I don't feel so bad about liking them!"Lulu declared happily. She and Jenna high-fived, and Alicia sighed in exasperation.

"Let's change the subject," she suggested. And they spent the rest of their walk talking about movies, movie characters, the future, Chicago, Europe, Disney World, and books. Eventually they stumbled into an unfamiliar part of the neighborhood. "Hey, this must be where those new apartment buildings are going to be!" Alicia said. "Let's take a closer look!" The other two agreed, and they walked into it, past several men smoking cigarettes, past several women buried under too much lipstick and mascara, past the tall, beautiful, animated girl…wait a minute, ANIMATED GIRL?

"Hold on!" Jenna did a double-take and stared at the woman. It was an animated woman. She was not three-dimensional, and way too beautiful to be considered human. She was wearing a skimpy white outfit, and she was primping her blond hair, fretting over something as she examined her reflection in the mirror.

"Let's say something to her," Alicia murmured, and the other two agreed. Jenna was very excited. She knew who this was: Holli Would, the antagonist from the film Cool World. Lulu recognized her, too, but she didn't believe her eyes…how was this possible?

"Hello, Holli," Alicia said timidly when they approached her.

The woman sighed. "Hi," she muttered, putting away her mirror. She seemed very despondent, and Lulu, in spite of being shocked and almost speechless, felt bad for her.

"Can we help you with something, Miss Would?" She asked, trying to be professional and polite. She decided that this was how she would react if she was talking to a "real life" celebrity. (She had actually met Hugh Jackman in New York a few years ago, but the circumstances had been very different.)

"No," the Doodle sighed. "I'll be okay. They'll be doing a casting call in a few weeks. Maybe my luck will be different then." She turned to the three girls, and her eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry. You three must be the new assistants, right? Mr. Maroon was looking for you three. You're wanted on the set in about ten minutes. C'mon, I'll take you there." She seemed friendly enough, and Alicia and Jenna didn't see any harm in following her…Lulu, however, was still trying to make sense of what was going on. Holli was leading them past more and more Toons and Doodles…some of which looked very familiar. There was the ostrich from Fantasia…there were the brooms from the same movie…and was that Dumbo?

"Oh, Jenna," Lulu whispered, jogging up to keep up with her friend.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Do you want to explain to me what the hell is going on?!"

Alicia and Jenna looked at each other, exchanged small smiles, and shrugged. "We think we know what's going on…it's kind of a long story," Alicia said slowly.

"Tell me," Lulu insisted. "I'll believe anything at this point," she added when Bugs Bunny wandered past, winked happily at their celebrity guide, and went about his business.

"Okay," Jenna began. "This sort of thing has been going on for a while now…."

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_Review, please? :)_

_This story is, by the way, dedicated to x-The Devil's Advocate-x. Check out her stories if you haven't already!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Jenna—I referenced your Beauty and the Beast fan fiction at the beginning! And yeah, I added Holli to make her a more developed character. I can't say for sure when the Toon Patrol will show up…maybe not for five more chapters, I think. I'll try to get them in as quickly as possible!**

**Alicia—Wow, really? I didn't know that there was construction going on…I might be psychic! OOHHH! By the way, I already told Jenna this, but you need to check out the deleted scene from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's going to be an important part of the story later.**

Chapter Two

As Holli led the three girls through a labyrinth of studios, Jenna and Alicia filled Lulu in on everything that had happened to them. They told her about the time they had been turned into cars and visited Radiator Springs, about the time they went to Africa and talked with the animals there, about the time they had woken up in the Islamic Golden Age and gotten married, and about how they very briefly visited a palace in France. (They couldn't remember a lot about the end of that trip, but Lulu shrugged this off.) She took it rather well.

"I think I understand, now," she said quietly. "I'm going to wake up now. I'm going to wake up now." Alicia groaned.

"Lulu, you're not dreaming. This is really happening," Jenna told her firmly.

"Okay, let's say that you are telling the truth," Lulu said, rolling her eyes a little. "Okay…time travel. Okay. Um, have you two ever…altered history?"

"Not that we know of," Alicia said, smiling a little. Lulu relaxed.

"Okay, whatever. I'm not dreaming. And even if we are…this is a pretty cool dream," she said, glancing around. She had never been on a movie set before! So much was going on! Actors and actresses—all of whom were animated—were practicing their lines, gossiping, and getting ready for their next scenes or auditions. Stagehands were running around, trying to clean everything up and make sure that it was "just so" for the big-name stars.

"If anybody wakes me up, I'm going to strangle them," Jenna added when they walked past someone who looked like he could have been the stunt double for Jafar from Aladdin…of course, this was before Aladdin was made…

"We're here," Holli announced, and she opened the door to a large building. It was cramped on the inside, though…a camera crew was packed tightly together, and everyone was filming what looked like a scene in a kitchen. "Roger and Baby won't really need any assistance today," Holli continued. "Baby's scenes should be finished quickly, and Roger…well, they're taking it easy on him right now."

"They are?" Alicia asked. "Why?"

"Oh, didn't you hear?" Holli asked, surprised. "I heard it from Betty, who heard it from Minnie, who heard it from someone at the Ink and Paint Club…Roger's wife, Jessica, is sleeping on the casting couch!"

"She's what?" Lulu, Jenna, and Alicia asked in unison. Holli sighed.

"I mean, she might be having an affair with Marvin Acme! And don't tell me that you don't know who Marvin Acme is!"

"Um…he's the owner of Toon Town, right?" Jenna guessed.

"That's exactly my point!" Holli exclaimed. "She's trying to land these bigger roles, so she's sleeping up the ladder!" She rolled her eyes. "Some of us are trying to become stars with hard work and natural talent! Anyway, let's get you three closer. If they cut the shoot short, then they might want you on hand. C'mon." They squeezed past a camera man and a man holding a boom mic, and they all got a clear shot of what was going on.

"Okay, quiet on the set!" A grouchy-looking man—the director, they presumed—yelled. "Lights, camera…action…and we're rolling!"

Jenna gasped when the lights switched on. She nudged Alicia and Lulu with her arms. "Look! Look! Look at who that is!"

It was Baby Herman from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. And he was sitting on the floor, acting innocent and lovable…a tall woman walked up to him. "Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, Darling," she cooed. "But don't worry. I'm leaving you with your favorite Uncle Roger." And there was Roger Rabbit! He still had those goofy eyes, the floppy ears, the long whiskers, and the patriotic attire…and he looked scared of the actress playing "Mommy". The girls watched in amazement as the Roger Rabbit short was filmed in front of their very eyes…and they couldn't help but snicker a few times at the stunts the rabbit pulled. After the director shot them a dirty glance, they had to bite their hands whenever they felt a case of the giggles starting up. Lulu almost drew blood.

"CUT!" The director screamed in the middle of the scene. "Cut, cut, cut, cut, CUT!"

"What the HELL was wrong with that take?" Baby Herman demanded, abandoning his sweet onscreen persona. He was now a grumpy old lecher trapped inside the body of a toddler.

"Ugh, if you'll excuse me…this is where I came in," Holli whispered. "But hey, maybe I'll catch you three later, okay? Good luck on your first day."

"Thanks for showing us around, Miss Would," Alicia called softly as she left.

"Call me Holli!" She ordered playfully, and then she was gone, leaving the trio of teens with two Toons.

"I'll be in my trailer!" Baby hollered, storming off the set. He walked under a lady's skirt as he walked by. She squealed. "Excuse me, Toots." He noticed the newcomers watching him with exasperation. "Hey, are you three the new assistants or what? Don't just stand there with your jaws on the floor! That's Roger's job! Come with me!"

"Do we have much of a choice?" Jenna complained under her breath.

"Okay…you have to admit, this is pretty exciting," Lulu admitted, jogging lightly to keep up with the baby star. "I've never been inside a movie star's trailer! That should be pretty cool!"

The contents of Baby Herman's trailer included: a crib; old editions of Toonboy (the cartoons' version of Playboy); cigars; diapers; pacifiers; a stroller; a small radio; and other baby-related stuff.

"Wow," Jenna said sarcastically. "This is the most exciting place I've been so far. And considering that we've been to a palace in France—"

"Okay, I was wrong! Give me a break!" Lulu whined.

"Stop fighting, you two!" Alicia ordered. "You're not the ones that need baby-sitting!"

"I heard that!" Their new boss yelled from his crib. "And unless you want to be out in the streets again, shut your pie-holes and listen up!" The three girls moved in closer and paid close attention as Baby Herman lit a new cigar and began talking. "Your first assignment is…well, let's say it's kind of a small one, but an important one. You've heard about my friend Roger, right?"

"Yeah," Jenna said crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"This whole controversy has been affecting his performance at work. And every time he gets yelled at, I get yelled at. This has to stop, and I know who can get to the bottom of this! Have you heard of the private eye Eddie Valiant?"

Alicia blushed. "Yes," she said.

"I want for you three to talk to the guy. Try to get him to get some evidence on what Jessica's really been up to. If she's been cheating on him, then I'll convince Roger that she's no good and that he needs to move on. And if she isn't…well, then we'll all be happy. Okay, that seems simple enough. You three can handle it, right? Are there any questions?"

"Just two, Mr. Herman," Jenna replied. "One: why can't you talk to Eddie yourself?"

"The guy hates Toons," the baby shrugged. "People I know have tried to talk to him before, but he doesn't talk to my kind anymore. Don't ask me why he doesn't, I sure don't know. And I don't really care."

"Two: how much are we getting paid for this?"

"Jenna!" Alicia hissed, socking her friend in the arm lightly.

"What?" She asked innocently. "It's our first day on the job!"

"Fifty bucks," the Toon said flatly, "fifty bucks each. Okay?"

"That's better than okay!" Jenna beamed. The baby rolled his eyes and grabbed a wallet from the corner of his crib.

"I can't believe you sometimes," Lulu muttered.

"Hey, it's for a good cause," Jenna retorted.

"What good cause?"

"It's for the 'Let's go to Disney World Fund'," she grinned.

"Sounds like a good cause to me," Alicia laughed, and Lulu smiled enthusiastically.

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_Review, please? :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**greatbigsealover44—Welcome to the site! I hope you continue reading, and if you have any questions about the fan fiction community, please don't hesitate to ask!**

**Alicia—Aw, thanks! Hold on, I'm going to post a note about the deleted scene in a little while…**

**Jenna—I think that's about it for Holli for now. But soon there will be WEASELS! Thanks for trying to stay up with me and help with my all-nighter, but I fell asleep after eleven. If I don't turn my project in today, I'm turning it in tomorrow for a B.**

**ATTENTION EVERYONE: It is very important that you look up the deleted scene from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It is called the "pig head sequence" or the "pig head scene". It's on YouTube, and it's about three and a half minutes long. This scene will be playing a crucial part in the story later.**

Chapter Three

Baby Herman had given the girls instructions to meet Eddie at this little bar not far from his apartment-office. (He was so devoted to his work that he actually slept at his office. The girls thought that even in a world populated by Toons, this was strange, but they digressed.) "Meet him there," the baby ordered before he threw them out of his trailer. "And report back to me with an update tomorrow morning. And make it snappy!"

"I really hate that kid," Jenna whined once they were out of earshot. They began looking for the exit to the studio, having decided to catch a bus to the bar.

"He's not a kid; he's a baby," Lulu corrected. Jenna rolled her eyes.

"It's still annoying."

"But it should be nothing compared to what you must have seen before," Lulu said enviously. "I mean, come on, you've done other things. There are things out there that are more bizarre than a talking baby with a cigar."

"I once married a Genie," Alicia chimed in proudly.

"And we already told you that we were turned into freaking cars!" Jenna reminded her.

"See? That's stranger than a talking cartoon baby," Lulu said proudly.

"Yeah, but not as annoying," Jenna mumbled. Lulu and Alicia ignored this remark. There was a bus up ahead, and they ran up to it, catching it in the nick of time.

"We have to thank the baby for giving us bus money," Alicia said, and Jenna groaned. What could be worse than having to rely on a baby for a paycheck? She resolved to never become a babysitter…

The Terminal Station Bar was tiny, filthy, and dark. Drunks were slumped over, drink in hand and head on table. The lights flickered whenever a large vehicle went by outside. The music was crap, even for the '80s. But the girls tried to ignore this as they walked up to the counter. There was a pretty woman cleaning glasses there. Lulu thought that she wore too much makeup; Jenna thought that she could have used a little more, and Alicia immediately recognized her as Dolores, the girlfriend of Eddie Valiant. She tried not to let her recognition show when they approached her.

"Can I help you three with something?" She asked, looking them over skeptically. Lulu was the youngest out of the three, and Alicia was the oldest. Even then, she was still too young to be wandering into a bar.

"Um, we're looking for someone named Eddie Valiant," Alicia replied nervously. She didn't want to be thrown out without at least talking to the private eye.

"That would be me," a gruff voice said, and all three girls jumped. They noticed that the speaker was sitting next to them. He was a short man, but he had a tough-guy Brooklyn accent. He smelled like booze and cigarette ash. Jenna and Lulu were beginning to have second thoughts about talking to him. Lulu had had her bad experiences with alcoholics before…they weren't fun. They were actually kind of scary. But Alicia seemed to get more excited.

"You're THE Eddie Valiant?" She exclaimed, her eyes growing wide with admiration.

"I used to be," he responded, but they all noted that a note of pride had crept into his voice.

"We wanted to talk to you about a potential case," Lulu continued timidly. "It's nothing big, but—"

"Look girls, I'm already doing business for R.K. Maroon," he told them.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a cartoon rabbit named Roger or his wife?" Jenna asked incredulously.

"How'd you know?" He asked suspiciously.

"Because our boss sent us to try to get you to go and spy on Jessica Rabbit," Alicia groaned.

"What a waste of time." Lulu complained.

"Let's go tell the baby."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Eddie stood up suddenly and grabbed Alicia's arm, stopping them from walking out. "What baby? It wouldn't be Baby Herman, would it?"

"Yeah," Alicia confessed.

"Oh," Eddie said, sitting back down. He swirled his drink around in his glass, thinking. "Tell your boss that I don't work for Toons anymore. And I'm already working on it."

"Sorry if we wasted your valuable time," Lulu told him sarcastically. And they really did start to go away. They had reached the door when Eddie called out, "Hey, wait a minute!" Alicia stopped and paid close attention. Jenna and Lulu stood a little far off, ready to storm out.

"Does your boss need specific evidence, or will he take your word for it?"

"I—I guess he'll want proof," Lulu said, exchanging a quick glance with Jenna and Alicia. This was true. Most people didn't want to trust their new employees.

"What sort of proof?" Jenna asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Pictures," Eddie said, holding up a camera, "pictures of the wife."

"I hate snooping," Alicia said primly.

"But do you like Toons?" He asked, smirking a little.

"Doesn't everyone?" She shot back, and then bit her lip. She had almost forgotten that Eddie didn't like Toons anymore. His smile faltered a little bit, but he quickly recovered it.

"Have you girls heard of the Ink and Paint Club? It features all-Toon performers, but none of them can watch the shows. Want to tag along? I'm sure you'll have a blast."

"Leave them alone, Eddie. They're too young to be hanging around places like that," Dolores cut in, frowning in disapproval.

"Ah, c'mon, Dolores, they can handle it," Eddie said, trying to win the argument. "It's not as though I'm taking them to a slaughter house or anything." Dolores crinkled her nose, but she let the matter drop.

They did leave after Eddie stuffed a raw egg in a drunken man's mouth. It was the closest thing that Lulu and Alicia had ever seen to a real bar fight, and it was over the most ridiculous thing: whether or not Eddie really worked for Toons.

"Sorry you had to see that," he mumbled once they were in his car. He was driving them to the Ink and Paint Club now. Alicia was in the passenger seat next to him, and Jenna and Lulu were crowded in the back. They had been driving in silence for a while, and he seemed a bit embarrassed about how he had reacted before.

"What do you have against the Toons?" Jenna asked in an uncharacteristically timid voice. She didn't want another outburst, and none of them wanted one while they were on the road.

"My brother was killed by one," he said quietly, "dropped a piano on his head while we were in Toon Town."

"Jesus," Jenna whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie," Alicia told him in a sincere tone of voice. Eddie looked at her, gave her a small, tight-lipped smile, and focused on the road for the rest of the drive.

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_Review, please? :)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Alicia—Well, that's part of why they cut the scene out. I personally like how we get a little more screen time with the Toon Patrol, but aside from that, nothing good came from it. I'm glad that they cut it out…but I think that you'll be very happy when you see why I'm including it.**

**Jenna—I think that she might have a sort-of cameo here. By the way, thanks for helping me with my all-nighters. You're the best! (I've been saying that a lot, haven't I? Ha, ha, ha…) Anyway! It's almost time for the Toon Patrol! I'm glad that you liked the scenes that I sent you last night!**

**Reviews are like chocolate, people: I have to have it!**

Chapter Four

The Ink and Paint Club wasn't impressive on the outside. In fact, it looked smaller than the Terminal Station Bar! "Are you sure we're at the right place?" Lulu asked doubtfully as they got out of the car.

"I'm a private eye," Eddie retorted. "You can trust me."

"Where's the logic in that?" Jenna scoffed.

"C'mon," he said, throwing his hands in the air with exasperation. "I brought you girls here so that you could live a little. Enjoy some time away from that crazy baby, you know? But if I'm going to have to have to babysit, then you'll have to walk home, now what's it gonna be?"

They didn't answer him, and he led them up to the tiny door. He knocked on it three times, and a small window opened. A Toon stared through it at them.

"What's the password?" He grunted.

"Walt sent me."

The window closed, and they heard the jingling and clanging of locks being opened. The door was opened for them, and it let out this awful squeak. Eddie walked in, confident and ready to do business, but the other three entered slowly, still not willing to believe anything. They saw the Toon who had let them in: an enormous gorilla wearing a tuxedo. He was a lumbering monster of a cartoon, and the girls moved away from him as soon as he closed the door. Eddie, however, still wanted to show off his wit.

"Nice monkey suit."

"Wise ass," Bongo growled.

"So what's his problem?" Jenna asked quietly as they walked down some narrow stairs.

"Ah, that's just Bongo. Don't pay too much attention to him," Eddie said. "We're here." He pushed open a larger door, and the sound of beautiful piano music suddenly filled the air. All of the doubts the girls had been having about the place vanished once they laid eyes on the glittering chandeliers, the fine carpet, and the penguins carrying trays of wine to the beautiful tables. Lulu recognized them as the penguins from Mary Poppins, and she grinned at one of them. He shot her a strange look, and went on about his business. There was also an octopus bartender, but they didn't know where he was from. And then, playing the pianos on the stage—

"Hey, cut that out!" Donald Duck screamed at Daffy when he went off-key.

"Does anybody understand what this duck is saying?" Daffy asked himself, his lisp present. "I've worked with a lot of wise-quackers, but you're despicable!" Donald retorted, but his voice was even worse than Daffy's lisp, and nobody understood him. Eddie led the girls to a table closer to the stage, and the followed, hoping that maybe two Toon stars that they actually liked would be willing to give them autographs if they had the chance—

"This is the last time I work with someone who has a speech impediment!" Daffy leaned back, showing off his ability to play with just his feet.

"Oh, yeah?" Donald reached back, grabbed his rival, and slammed him into his piano. He began a small solo, but the girls heard Daffy say, "This means war…"

Eddie shook his head, and pulled out a seat for Alicia to sit in. She sat down, pleased at how much of a gentleman he was…especially for a private eye. He was going to do the same for Jenna and Lulu, but that was before man sitting at the table next to theirs squirted ink from his pen all over Eddie's shirt.

"What, you think that's funny?" Eddie demanded angrily as the man laughed. The girls stared at the other man, not sure what to think. Was he drunk, crazy, stoned, or some combination of the three?

"Oh, it's a panic," the man chuckled.

"You won't think it's funny once I stick that pen up your nose," Eddie commented, grabbing the jokester by the shirt.

"Hey, hey, take it easy. It's disappearing ink!" And, as if to prove his point, the stain vanished on cue.

The man introduced himself as Marvin Acme, and he was way too goofy to be taken seriously. The girls made a point of sitting as far away from him as possible, instead focusing on the war between Daffy and Donald Duck. They burst out laughing at the end, along with everyone else.

"Cigars, cigarettes," A squeaky feminine voice piped out over the applause. "Eddie Valiant!" The four humans turned to face—

"Betty?"

"Long time no see," Betty Boop winked. Even for an old black-and-white cartoon, she still looked beautiful. She had that perfect hourglass form, those adorable eyes, and that pretty dress.

"What are you doing here?"

She sighed sadly. "Work's been kinda slow since the cartoons came out in color. But I still got it, Eddie!" She began humming a song from one of her old cartoons, doing a small dance, ending with a pose and a wink.

Eddie grinned. "Yeah, you still got it."

"Do you perform?" Jenna asked, curious. She hadn't seen any Betty Boop cartoons before, but there was a first time for everything, wasn't there?

"Not on most nights," she said softly, fidgeting with a lock of her black hair. "I just hand out the cigars and booze. It's nothing glamorous, but it pays the bills."

"That's too bad," Lulu said sympathetically. She was actually a huge Betty Boop fan. She had particularly liked Betty in Minnie the Moocher: a short that explored the style of surrealism and new forms of animation.

Betty smiled, but Lulu only saw it for a fraction of a second. Then the lights dimmed, and the whole room was filled with applause and cheers, especially from the men present. Marvin Acme was spraying himself with some strong-smelling cologne, and he was beaming with anticipation. Eddie raised his eyebrows and looked at Betty for an explanation.

"Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs."

"Got a thing for rabbits, huh?" Eddie joked. But a sudden hush fell over everyone present when one of the most beautiful voices in the history of both Toons and humans began singing. And the singer was none other than the sexiest cartoon lady known to everyone. She was wearing a sparkly pink dress, and it didn't clash with her red hair at all. She was just plain gorgeous…and Jenna and Lulu wanted to strangle her. Alicia wanted to murder her when she saw that Eddie was drooling over the singer as well.

"She's married to Roger Rabbit," he said blankly, refusing to believe it.

"Yeah," Betty said enviously. "What a lucky gal." She closed his jaw, which had been hanging open in disbelief. Alicia, Jenna, and Lulu all fidgeted and sulked in their seats, wishing that Eddie would stop drooling over the Rabbit dish and pay some attention to them.

"Don't forget to blink," Alicia told Eddie once the song was over and the singer was offstage.

"What? Huh?"

She slumped lower in her seat, wishing that she could disappear into the floor.

"Come on, don't we have work to do?"

"Oh, yeah, you're right. Let's go, girls." He helped the girls out of their seats, and he led them backstage. Alicia, Lulu, and Jenna all kept looking for Daffy and Donald, but they were nowhere to be found. They sighed in disappointment…

* * *

…and sighed irritably after being thrown out of the most awesome place they had ever been in. "Real mature, Eddie," Jenna said, glaring at him. "Now we can't go back!"

"And I didn't get any autographs!" Lulu whined.

"But we will be getting what you need to make Mr. Herman one happy baby," Eddie protested, noticing that one of the windows looked in on Jessica Rabbit's dressing room. Alicia hoped that he wouldn't take more pictures than he needed to…or take pictures of what he DIDN'T need to. He managed to stand up close by the window, but he had the girls stay down and pressed against the wall. They couldn't see anything, and they were just as curious as Eddie was about what, exactly, was going on.

"What are they doing?" Jenna hissed.

"Shut up! I'm trying to listen!" Eddie growled, and Jenna glared at him.

"I've got everything set up. Right here on the bed," Marvin was saying. The four snoopers—one professional, three mediocre—froze.

"Patty cake, patty cake…."

"You're not serious," Eddie said to himself, lowering his camera and staring at the scene unfolding in front of him. Jenna and Alicia stared at each other in disbelief and slight revulsion as the orgasmic cries of Jessica grew louder and louder. Lulu just sat there, hands over her ears, saying, "Not possible," over and over again…

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	5. Chapter 5

**greatbigsealover44—I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! I hope you keep on reading, and I'll keep reading your story! Are you just as big a fan of Roger Rabbit as I am?**

**Jenna—We're ALMOST at that part! Don't worry! And I didn't know you were a fan of Betty Boop! Have you seen her in Minnie the Moocher? I love that short!**

**Alicia—I know! I saw the movie for the first time when I was ten, and I felt like I was missing something important. I didn't see what the big deal was about playing patty cake…**

Chapter Five

"PATTY CAKE, PATTY CAKE," wailed Roger, banging his head against the desk. "Patty cake, patty cake…is that true?"

"Take comfort, son; you're not the first man whose wife played patty cake on him," R.K. Maroon said, approaching his desk with a handkerchief. The girls didn't like him very much, and they could tell that Eddie didn't, either. He sent off signals that screamed, "I AM NOT TO BE TRUSTED!" at everyone present in the room. And Lulu thought that he could have been the long-lost twin brother of Richard Nixon, the politician (and the president with the second-lowest approval rate in history).

Roger accepted the hankie, and blew his nose with it, emitting loud trumpet sounds and sending streams of snot-water across the room. He handed the dripping cloth back to his boss, saying, "I just don't believe it." He suddenly became a little defiant, declaring tearfully, "I won't believe it! I can't believe it! I shan't believe it!"

"Believe it, kid," Eddie said brusquely, discarding the hankie, "I took the pictures myself. She played patty cake."

"No," Roger said, flipping through the cards hysterically. "Not patty cake! This is impossible! I don't believe it! It can't be! It JUST CAN'T BE! Jessica's my wife! This is IMPOSSIBLE!" He threw the cards off to the side, and the girls watched him in pity as he sobbed his unending devotion for her. "Jessica's the love of my life…the apple of my eye…the cream in my coffee…"

"You better start taking it black, 'cause Acme's taking the cream now," Eddie told him sternly. R.K. Maroon was looking out the window distractedly, but he was still paying attention to the conversation.

"Hard to believe…Marvin Acme's been my friend and neighbor for thirty years," Maroon said, feigning sympathy. "Who would have thought he was a sugar daddy?"

"Somebody must have made him do it!" Roger cried.

"Now, drink this son. It'll make you feel better," Maroon recommended, handing Roger a glass of beer. Or was it whiskey? Roger took the drink without looking at it, and he swallowed it all in one gulp…

And then he began flinching, twitching, and shuddering, all while giving out small cries of surprise and disgust. The girls looked at Eddie, but he only watched Roger, perplexed by his actions. But everyone clasped their hands over their ears when Roger lost it. His head extended towards the ceiling, and he let out a piercing scream that sounded like a tea kettle whistling and trains crashing. The bottles of alcohol exploded, as did the awards that Maroon had earned over the years. When it was all over, Roger collapsed on the desk. "Thanks," he said dazedly, "I needed that."

"Son of a bitch," Eddie muttered, staring at his clothes, which were soaked with the drink he didn't get to finish. The girls ran up to Roger, concerned.

"Are you okay?" Alicia asked gently. He didn't respond with words. He just whimpered and sniveled a little.

"Roger, I know all of this seems pretty painful now…but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?" That last sentence was said pointedly. There was a wrong answer to that question, and Eddie was going to give the correct one if he wanted to keep the money he had earned.

"Yeah, sure, a good-looking guy like that…dames will be busting his door down," He chuckled.

"DAMES?! What dames? Jessica's the only one for me! You'll see!" Roger was no longer sad. He was furious! He began pawing at Eddie, announcing that he and Jessica were going to be "H-A-P-P-I-E!" He left through the window, leaving a rabbit-shaped hole in the glass.

"At least he took it well," Eddie commented, playing with the window shades.

"Don't you think you were a little too hard on him?" Lulu asked, speaking for the first time since they had entered the room with the photos.

"Not at all," Maroon said reassuringly. "He's a Toon. He'll bounce back."

"I'm going to talk to him," Lulu replied, striding towards the door.

"Wait! Where should we meet up?" Jenna asked, and the trio froze. They still didn't have a place to stay for the night…and asking Baby Herman and Roger Rabbit for help wouldn't lead to pretty results.

"Don't you girls have some nice home to go to?" Eddie asked.

"No," Alicia admitted, playing with a strand of hair. "We're kind of new here."

"Well, here," Eddie said, tossing Lulu a key from across the room. She caught it and looked at it, surprised. "It's the key to my office. You know where it is, I'm guessing. The baby must have told you. Once you're done with the rabbit, you can let yourself in." He turned to Alicia and Jenna. "Are you two coming with me?" They nodded. They all left the studio together, but they soon parted ways.

It wasn't hard for Lulu to find Roger. He left a trail of tufts of white, animated fur. It led her to the Acme Warehouse. He was sitting on a crate outside, looking at pictures in his wallet and crying.

"Roger?" She asked softly, pulling up another crate and sitting next to him. "Do you think that you'll be okay?"

"Nothing will ever be okay again!" He wailed. "I wish Toons could die!"

Lulu bit her lip and furrowed her brow, thinking. Toons were very childish…how did her parents calm down her when she was younger? Telling stories usually helped…but which one would do the trick? Lulu thought back to when her father visited India…say, that's it!

"Roger," Lulu said gently. "I'm going to tell you something, and it's very important that you listen to me." He only snorted sadly. She began the story. "In India, some of the people need to get water from wells. So there will be a man…he'll go to every house and dig a hole in every yard so that everyone can get water. Sometimes he'll hit a stone with his shovel. If he walks away from it, then a family can't get water. So he has to dig through it. It may take him a while, but he'll succeed in the end." She looked at him intently. "Do you understand, Roger? We all have our rocky days." She stood up, deciding that the best thing to do was to leave him alone. "Try talking to Jessica. See if there's anything that you can do to win her back." She walked away, leaving the rabbit in a thoughtful, melancholy silence.

Eddie had given the girls permission to stay in his apartment-office, but there were three rules. One: they were not going to bother him while he was working. And he didn't work for Toons, so none of them were allowed in his place. Two: they weren't allowed to touch anything belonging to his brother. Three: they weren't allowed to touch his alcohol. Jenna and Alicia agreed to these terms, and now they were inside the residence of the private investigator. It was kind of a dump, but the bed and sofa looked comfy enough. Jenna immediately passed out on the bed, tired from the day's events. But Alicia wandered over to the small desk by the window. Half of it was very neat, but covered in dust. The other half wasn't dusty, but it was still pretty cluttered. There were newspaper articles and pictures littered all over the place, telling her about the baffling cases Eddie had solved with his brother, Theodore.

She looked over at Eddie. He was staring at a photo of him and his brother on a beach, playing in the waves of the ocean. He was crying. His bottom lip was trembling, and Alicia knew that this wasn't the best time to ask him about anything…she left him alone and walked to the bed. She curled up next to Jenna, her mind full of questions and thoughts about the valiant Eddie Valiant.

CLANG!

"Mommy, I don't want to go outside and play until it gets dark. Mosquitoes bite," Lulu muttered, and Jenna rolled her eyes and pushed her off of the couch. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"You were talking in your sleep!" Jenna told her, amused.

"Cool!" Lulu said, impressed with herself.

"Will you two stop making those banging sounds?" Alicia yawned, putting a pillow over her head. "I'm too tired…"

"I didn't make that sound!"

"Well, I didn't, either!"

"So? Who was it?"

"Me," an unfamiliar voice said, and the girls noticed that there was a tall man standing next to Eddie's desk. He had thrown an empty bottle into the trash can, which had woken them all up.

"Girls, you know what I said about not bothering me while I was working yesterday?"

"Yeah…"

"Yeah…"

"No…"

"Well, ignore that. We've got another case on our hands, and I don't know what this means for you three."

Jenna smirked. "Who died?" She joked. Her grin faded when she heard the answer.

"Roger Rabbit killed Marvin Acme."

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	6. Chapter 6

**greatbigsealover44—Oh, I didn't know that! Well, I know that you like Psycho a lot, and there will be plenty of time with him now that the Toon Patrol is showing up! By the way, I've said this to other people, but you need to check out the deleted scene from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's going to be playing an important part in the story later.**

**Alicia—I hope you don't mind, but your character won't be in this chapter a lot…don't worry, there's a reason for it! And I'll make up for it later, I promise!**

**Jenna—Here are the weasels! *happy dance* Yes, I do talk in my sleep! I've caught myself three times. The first time I was talking to my brother when he came into my room in the middle of the night. (He was going through the "scared of monsters" phase.) Then I said, "Thanks, Stephanie," when I had a dream about talking to a friend. And then, the other day, I said—and I'm not making this up: "I'll have the chicken fingers and a small chocolate shake."**

Chapter Six

"I guess that one of us should go tell the baby about the, uh, latest report," Lulu said slowly, breaking the shocked silence.

"Not it," Jenna shouted, making everyone jump.

"Not it," Lulu echoed quickly. "Alicia, go find Baby Herman."

"Why does it have to be me?" She protested.

"You're the oldest, aren't you?" Eddie asked. "Go find the baby if you want. And, ah, meet us back here when you're done talking to him."

"I'd much rather go with you," she insisted, pouting a little.

"Some other time," he told her, throwing on his jacket and walking out the door, followed by the other man and Lulu and Jenna. Alicia groaned inwardly.

"Why does it always have to be me?" She repeated. "Why?" When she saw that there was nobody there to complain to, she groaned out loud and went to track down the Toon.

* * *

"I didn't catch your name," Lulu said to the man on the drive down to the Acme Warehouse.

"Lieutenant Santino," he replied, shaking her hand awkwardly. He shook hands with Jenna briefly, but she was more interested in looking out the window. The sky seemed to be getting brighter for some reason…Eddie noticed it, too, and when they got out of the car, he began staring at the smiling sun and the explosions of light and color.

"This is the closest I've been to Toon Town in a while," he confessed quietly. Yosemite Sam, immediately and out of nowhere, went flying over the wall that separated the two worlds, landing in front of the gang.

"My biscuits are burning!" He howled, running around. His pants were on fire, but nobody was laughing. Lulu personally thought that that joke was getting a little old…

"Let's get this over with," the lieutenant urged, and he led them into the warehouse. He flashed his badge at a cop, assured him that Eddie and the girls were with him, and let them look around. The whole place was surprisingly neat…except for the chalk outline of Acme's body that was in the direct center of the room, and the safe that was resting where his head was at the time of the incident.

"Just like a Toon to drop a safe on a guy's head," Santino remarked before he saw Eddie's expression. "Sorry, Eddie...just stay here, all right?" He walked up a flight of stairs that were in the back of the room. They could see Jessica Rabbit being questioned through a large window.

"Mr. Valiant?" This was the closest that Jessica had been to the girls, and they were hating her more and more every time they had to look at her. Eddie seemed to be enjoying the show…although if Alicia had been there, she probably would have pointed out that there was nothing of interest on her chest. Jessica smacked him across the face—not a typical Toon reaction—and placed her hands on her hips.

"I hope you're proud of yourself!" She scolded, shooting him a piercing glare before making her dramatic exit. "And those pictures you took," she called before a series of wolf whistles directed at her filled the air.

"She was asking for it," Jenna said once she was gone.

"It must be hard, now that her husband's a fugitive and her boss is dead," Lulu said sympathetically.

"Well, if she hadn't been cheating on him, this never would have happened."

"Good point." Some cops were screwing around with some Toon props: sticks of dynamite, weird hammers, and stick-on black holes. One of them almost hit Eddie with a hammer while slacking off. He put it away, staring at him.

"Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant? I heard you changed your name to Jack Daniels."

"Very funny," Jenna grumbled as they all laughed. "They're a riot, aren't they?" Eddie began looking for a distraction from the unwanted attention, and he found it: a man, picking at a piece of rope attached to the weapon used.

"What's this?"

"Paint from the rabbit's glove," the man shrugged.

"Just because it's paint from a Toon's glove doesn't mean that it's automatically Roger's glove," Lulu pointed out.

"Yeah, except that glove prints with Toons are like finger prints with us. There's a distinct pattern with all of them. No two are the same," Eddie explained.

"Good to know," Jenna said, carefully making a note. A few men walked by, carrying the body of Marvin Acme out. They dropped it after bumping into one of the large crates. A bunch of Toon shoes broke free, walking, running, and prancing all over the place, making squeaks that varied in pitch.

"They keep Toons locked up in those crates?" Lulu asked, horrified. She watched the men herd them back into their prison. She shook her head in disgust.

"Maybe it's only temporary," Jenna suggested. "You know, so they won't get in the way of the investigation."

"Then why not take them to Toon Town? Its right next door," Lulu wondered, turning to ask Eddie. He looked like he was about to tie his shoe, but he was staring up at a tall, gaunt man, dressed entirely in black. "Is this man removing evidence from the scene of a crime?" He said loudly.

"Uh, no, Judge Doom," the lieutenant interrupted, going to Eddie's rescue.

"Hand it over," the judge ordered, extending his hand. Eddie complied, and the girls saw that it wasn't anything important—it was just that stupid hand buzzer. He had used it on Eddie at the Ink and Paint Club.

"His number one seller," Eddie told him. The man smiled, but this made him seem scarier. Jenna and Lulu decided to walk away…not cause any trouble, just walk away…walk away from the creepy man.

"I wonder what's in those other crates," Jenna said, walking over to a stack of the boxes.

"We shouldn't open them," Lulu warned. "We could get into serious trouble…I'm eighty percent sure that it's illegal to mess around the crime scene without a special permit."

"Oh, what's the worst that could happen?" Jenna said boldly, leaning over to open one of them. And…right on cue, a large black car came crashing into the warehouse. Lulu pulled Jenna out of the way as the car swerved, missing them by a couple of inches. It had helped that there was a loud siren on the top of it, like some police car. But were the drivers—

"—weasels?"

"I find they have a certain gift," the judge explained to Eddie.

"All right, you mugs, fall out!" The passenger door opened, and the weasels began appearing, one by one. They were certainly…colorful characters. They didn't look like they belonged in any cartoons. (The one exception was the chubby one wearing a striped shirt, a beanie, and shoes that didn't have the laces tied correctly.) But one of them was smoking a load of cigarettes, another was wearing a straitjacket, and the other two just looked like bad news. (Okay, the fact that their leader was wearing a pink suit was a little silly, but he still looked like he could have been the right-hand man of Al Capone.) All were menacing, all were dark, and Jenna and Lulu thought that they were…kind of hot.

"Is it bestiality if we have crushes on weasels?" Lulu whispered. Jenna snorted.

"No! I think that in a world where humans marry rabbits, we're considered normal," she added, thinking of Roger's relationship with his lovely wife.

"Don't worry, Judge, we've got informants all over the city. We'll find him," the one in the pink suit sneered, walking over to the three men—the judge, the cop, and the detective. The crazy-looking one giggled maniacally…or was it in agreement?

"One would think that they'd drive a Toon car, not a real one," Lulu remarked, walking around it.

"Still, it's pretty fancy," Jenna said, examining it.

"Yeah, the suicide doors are a nice touch—"

"What suicide doors?"

Lulu gasped, and turned to see that the leader of the Toon Patrol was talking to her. She knew he was the leader—the talker, the driver, the head of the investigation—from watching Roger Rabbit, but she forgot how confident he looked, even in pink. She knew that he wouldn't be bothered if someone insulted his clothes, so she decided not to…besides, they weren't all that bad. He had a jewel on his tie. How many guys had bejeweled ties? She stopped staring and decided to answer his question.

"Here, I'll show you," she said, motioning for him to follow her to the passenger door. She opened the door and closed it. "It's really easy to fall out of these cars with doors like this. You need to be more careful with them, or you could seriously hurt yourself."

The weasel laughed. "Toons don't feel pain. So don't feel any for us."

Lulu's eyes narrowed. "Don't flatter yourself. I don't care about…your kind of Toon."

"What kind would that be? He asked, leaning back against the car and puffing on a vile cigar.

"The kind that thinks he's on top of the world, invincible…all that and a bag of chips. The kind that doesn't care about his fans at all…oh, wait. You don't have any," she smirked. "Don't you have some innocent children to terrify?"

"Feisty _chica_, eh, boss?" Another weasel called out, walking by. "Her _Amiga_ isn't half bad, either," he added, winking at Jenna. Lulu grimaced, and Jenna tried not to look interested. Her red cheeks said otherwise. This Toon obviously had an appetite for the ladies, and she felt flattered by the possibility that maybe she had caught his eye. And he wasn't awful in the looks department. Sure, it wouldn't hurt if he lost a couple of pounds, but at least he wasn't as chubby as the other weasel. And he did look sophisticated in his green suit…she noticed that he was one of the two weasels wearing a suit. The others weren't.

The judge was walking towards the car. Lulu and Jenna initially wanted to walk away from him, but when the weasels flocked towards the trunk, they decided to see what the fuss was about. They wished they hadn't when they saw a Toon murdered in front of their eyes. The judge had been carrying a small Toon shoe, one that hadn't been placed back in his crate. He was soaking it in a barrel of a green liquid that smelled like burning rubber, sour milk, and old garbage. The Toon dissolved, whimpering like a whipped dog as it died. Lulu turned as green as the substance, and Jenna stared at it, not sure what to think. The weasels, however, seemed to be enjoying it just fine. The one in the straitjacket giggled maniacally.

"That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?" The one in the green suit laughed. The judge, ignoring the girls, went to exchange some final words with Eddie and Santino. His black leather glove was soaked in red paint, but it almost looked like blood.

"Hey," the leader weasel said, pushing Lulu lightly. She turned and glared at him. "I don't _have_ any children to go and terrify…and I don't _know_ any." He leaned closer, pulling her down so that he could stare her right in the eye. "But I _will_…and it isn't _just_ children that we're capable of terrifying." He let her go, and she stood up, slightly outraged at this treatment. "Watch yourself instead of cartoons. Learn something from the real world, not from drawings. Survive or die. Kill or be killed." He cackled a little, and hopped in the car, this time getting in the passenger seat. The one in green was driving, and he began to back out of the warehouse slowly. He hit the brakes suddenly, pausing next to the girls. He rolled down the window, aiming a cocky grin at Jenna.

"Don't look so _triste, guapa_," he said in a voice dripping with sweetness. "We'll see each other soon." The car filled with laughing weasels went away, but the two girls stared after it.

"I heard what Pinky said to you," Jenna said. "Didn't that sound like a threat?"

"Yeah," Lulu answered, unable to tear her eyes away from where the car had been parked.

"So why are you smiling?"

"Why are YOU smiling? Perverts are not sexy."

"This one is," Jenna said defensively and petulantly, and they both laughed.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_(I put my HEART, SOUL, BLOOD, TEARS, AND SWEAT into this chapter! It's my masterpiece! PLEASE REVIEW! Even if you JUST want to flame a little!)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Alicia—Okay, once again, sorry about not including you in the last chapter too much...if it makes you feel any better…well, you'll have to read and find out! And I'm writing this HUGE scene with you and Eddie later. It's going to be awesome!**

**Jenna—Go weasels! Go weasels! Go weasels, oh yeah! *does a cheerleader dance, then falls flat on face* Ouch…okay, no weasels here, but there will be later, I promise! Every time the weasels show up, there is going to be record-breaking levels of awesomeness! I think I'm starting to fall for Greasy, too…don't worry, my heart still belongs to Smarty!**

**greatbigsealover44—Aw, thanks! I'm glad that you think I'm keeping them in character! You're doing a good job keeping the characters in character in your story, too! By the way, do you want for me to Beta your story?**

**ekcandyapple—I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Keep on reading and reviewing!**

**AL19-I love WFRR! It's one of my favorite movies! Aw, thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Don't forget to review! :)**

Chapter Seven

Lulu and Jenna followed Eddie up the stairs to his apartment-office. "What was that stuff that the judge dunked that shoe in?" Jenna asked.

"Some mixture of chemicals," Eddie replied. "I use them sometimes. But together, they can kill a Toon. The Judge called it the Dip."

"Took you long enough," Alicia's voice rang out. They looked up and saw her waiting outside of the apartment-office with a stroller. "He made me take him here," she continued. "I told him that I wouldn't let him in because it's against the rules."

"This isn't the time for the rules," the Baby said impatiently, puffing away on his cigar. He blew a ring of smoke around the girls' faces. They coughed.

"You really shouldn't be smoking that," Lulu cautioned.

"Don't baby me," he replied, taking a long drag on it.

"Gomez Addams started smoking when he was five," Jenna said, remembering the live-action movies she had seen with Lulu.

"We're getting off-topic here," the Toon interrupted. "I wanted to talk to you about this whole murder incident."

"What about it?" Jenna said, folding her arms.

"This whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers! The newspapers have been saying a bunch of poop about Marvin not having a will! He promised to leave Toon Town to us Toons in it!"

"Well, where is the will?" Lulu asked. "Does anybody know?"

"No, but he always kept his promises! And he did say, for a fact, that there was a will!"

"Well, what happens to the town if it doesn't go to the Toon population?" Alicia mused.

"Judge Doom," Eddie answered at once. "He was telling me that the town is under his jurisdiction now. And Santino says that he has enough supporters to buy whatever elections happen."

"We need your help!" Baby Herman told him sternly—surprisingly stern, for a baby. What an enigma. "And I don't believe for a moment that Roger killed Acme. He's a dear friend of mine!" Eddie shook his head, and he started to open the door to his apartment. "I could pay you!" Herman offered, and that really struck a nerve with both Eddie and Alicia.

"Can't you do ANYTHING on your own?" She shouted, pushing the stroller down the stairs. "Leave us alone! Go bother the Toon Patrol you were telling me about!" She followed Eddie into the apartment, but Jenna and Lulu lingered outside for a few more moments.

"Mr. Herman…WE QUIT!" They called out, slamming the door. The last they heard of the baby involved him screaming and crying because he had dropped his cigar.

"Don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" Eddie asked, mocking Lulu from the night before.

"He's a celebrity. He'll be fine," Alicia said, thinking about the many ladies that would love to look after Baby Herman. Jenna smirked.

"Man, infants are such babies!" Lulu complained, slumping against the closed door of the apartment.

"I'll say!" Jenna agreed. "I'm never going to have any of them!"

"That's too bad," Eddie chimed in. "You'd make a wonderful mother."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jenna shot back, folding her arms and scowling at him a little.

"What are you girls still doing here?" He asked. "I've got better things to do than baby-sit three teenagers." He walked over to his desk and began to slip out of his jacket.

"I'm eighteen, thank you very much," Alicia told him coldly. "And we're not in a hurry to go and take care of some washed-up cartoon celebrity."

"Yeah, especially since we just stopped working for him," Jenna muttered.

"And just because we're not working for him anymore doesn't mean that we're not working for Roger," Lulu added. "We're going to help him, and you're going to help us."

"Why do you want to help him?"

The three girls looked at each other, and then they shrugged. "I don't think he did it," Alicia said. "He seemed devastated, not murderous."

"And aside from the freak that killed your brother, how many other Toons have been known to murder people?" Jenna asked. "Something tells me that it's not in their nature."

"You'd be surprised," Eddie commented, taking off his jacket and preparing to slide into the chair by his desk. He hesitated, his eyes inches away from a glass of booze and the newspaper.

"What? What is it?" Alicia asked, walking over.

"It's the will!"

"What? Where? I want to see!" Jenna said, running over and leaning over the desk. On the front page of the paper there was a large photo of Marvin playing patty-cake with the seductive Jessica.

"There, in his pocket," Alicia pointed. Sticking out of the pocket of Marvin Acme was a piece of paper that clearly read LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.

"Do you think he had it when he died?"

"They would have found it…"

"Aw, who am I kidding?" Eddie shook his head, laughed to himself, and went to lie down on the bed. The girls stood over him, biting their tongues and trying not to laugh…not at Eddie, but at the person lying next to him.

"Hello, Roger," Alicia said softly, and Eddie's eyes shot open. He and Roger stared at each other, yelped in surprise, and hopped out of bed.

"Howdy, girls," he said, smiling at the three teens, then focused on the steaming detective.

"Anybody know you're here?" Eddie demanded.

"Nobody, not a soul…except, uh…"

"Who?"

"Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know! But the liquor store guy…he knew!"

"In other words, the whole town knows you're here!" Eddie shouted, grabbing Roger. "Get out!" He was going to literally throw the bunny out of his apartment, and Roger sure was putting up a fight.

"Please, Eddie! I never killed anyone! I swear! My whole…purpose…is…to…make…people…laugh!" He was losing the fight towards the end, but it ended in a draw. He remained in the apartment for a little while longer.

"What happened after I left you last night?" Lulu questioned, growing a little frantic.

"I wanted to go home and wait for Jessica, like you said! But the weasels were waiting for me, so I ran!" He explained tearfully.

"You were going to talk it all out with her," Lulu said, relieved that somebody had listened to her advice instead of ignored it.

"Nope, I wrote her a love letter! I found a nice, clean sheet of paper!" He produced the paper, which was covered with red lipstick and big words. "Dear Jessica," Roger began reading in a lovey-dovey voice. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." He began bouncing on the bed, giggling like a child. "One-one thousand! Two-one thousand! Three-one thousand!"

"But why do you need MY help?" Eddie said, going back to his desk for another drink.

"He's the one who got you into this mess," Alicia protested, now getting sick of the rabbit's presence.

"Yeah, but he also solved all these other cases and helped all these Toons!" Roger pointed out, looking through the scrapbook of memorabilia. He sank into the chair across from Eddie's.

"GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR!" Eddie exploded. Roger froze, and slowly lifted himself from the chair. "It's my brother's," Eddie said sheepishly in a quieter voice.

"Where is your brother? He looks like a sober fellow," Roger commented with a sly, knowing glint in his eye.

"That's it," Eddie reached for the phone. "I'm calling the cops!"

"Go ahead! Call the cops! I come here for help and what do you do? You turn me in! No, don't feel guilty about me! So long, and thanks for nothing!" Roger had delivered this dramatic speech as he made his emotional exit stage left…and into—

"That's the closet!" Alicia called out.

"Sheesh," Eddie said, hanging up the phone. Jenna opened the closet door…but the movie star was nowhere to be found.

"Eddie, he's not here."

"What?" Valiant poked his head in, only to have his hand grabbed and handcuffed by the figure hiding in his coat.

"Mr. Valiant! You're under arrest!" Roger giggled. Eddie swung Roger onto the bed and glared at him.

"I don't have keys for these cuffs!"

"Where are they?" Lulu asked, worried.

"I don't know!"

The screech of sirens roared outside, and they all walked to the window, wondering if there was a fire accident or a car chase…but what they saw made Roger scream and the stomachs of Lulu and Jenna turn cartwheels.

"YIKES! IT'S THE TOON PATROL!" He leapt back, dragging Eddie under the bed. "You gotta hide me, Eddie!" He dove into a desk drawer, pulling the real person with him. "Remember, you never saw me!"

"Get out of there!" Alicia said, exasperated. "If we're going to hide you, we need a better place!"

The shadows of the five weasels appeared outside of the main door, and they rapped sharply on the wood. "Open up in the name of the law!" The voice of the leader yelled, and Lulu smiled a little, in spite of herself.

"I'm as good as d-d-d-d-Dipped!" His teeth chattered. "What are we gonna do, Eddie?"

"Don't make us play rough, Valiant, we just want the rabbit," the head weasel called out.

"What's all this 'we' stuff?" Eddie asked, staring at the trapped rabbit. "They just want the rabbit."

"You're not serious," Lulu hissed, staring at the closed door. The Toon Patrol was growing impatient.

"Please, Eddie," Alicia begged. "Hide him. We can't do this."

"You saw what they're going to do to that him. Don't let it happen to anybody else," Lulu pleaded, and Eddie furrowed his brow.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Thanks for all of the great reviews! You all rock! But for a while, I'm going to keep reminding you all to check out the deleted scene from Roger Rabbit. It is going to play an important part in the story later._


	8. Chapter 8

**Jenna—Your mom was a cheerleader? So was mine! *sees Smarty and runs up to him* I KNEW he'd come for me! LOL! Anyway, here's some more Weasel Time! YAY!**

**Alicia—I'm glad you don't mind too much! But like I said, I'm still working on this huge scene with you and Eddie later!**

**AL19—I know! That's one of my favorite parts! What's your favorite part?**

**greatbigsealover44—I liked the deleted scene, too, even though it was, like you said, a little weird…anyway, I'll start to Beta your story after this chapter is uploaded!**

Chapter Eight

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! A bunch of bullets were shot around the doorknob, and the weasels had easy access to the apartment-office. The door slid open effortlessly, and they appeared, slowly at first, then quickly. They couldn't see Eddie, not at first glance…

"Looks like they gave us the slip, huh, boss?" The weasel in green muttered, stepping in behind the leader in pink.

"Nah, Valiant's got him stashed somewhere…" The boss replied, producing a small pistol. The others were wielding weapons…for Toons, they sure were cautious.

"Hold it right…there," he ordered, pausing when Eddie didn't put up a fight.

"Hello, boys," he replied. "Didn't hear you come in."

"Okay, wise guy," the leader said, pulling a chair up to the sink. He climbed it so that he could stare Eddie right in the eye. "Where's the rabbit?"

"Haven't seen him," he lied.

"Is someone in here, Eddie?" Alicia called from the bathroom. Some of the weasels perked up at the sound of female voices.

"What the—who's in there?"

"Some girls I know."

"What are they doing in there?"

"Can't some girls put on a little lipstick in peace?" Jenna asked in exasperation, walking out of the bathroom. (Eddie had told them to do this, in order to make things seem more casual and less forced. They went along with it, and were shocked when they realized that Eddie was hiding Roger under the sink water.) The weasels didn't know who Alicia was, but the leader recognized Jenna and Lulu from earlier that morning. He almost dropped his gun in shock.

"What are YOU two doing here?"

"Does that matter?" The one dressed in green asked, pleased at having not two, but _three_ lovely ladies in close proximity.

"Same as you are," Lulu told the boss, ignoring the other ones, "we're looking for Roger Rabbit."

"Why?"

"Um, we happen to work for him. We're the new assistants," Alicia said.

"That means you're one step above being a secretary. You must be so proud," the leader said with a dry smile. "But what are you doing HERE in the office of Mr. Valiant?"

"He's the best detective around, and we can talk to whoever we want to," Alicia asserted, placing her hands on her hips.

"Perhaps you'd boys care for a drink?" Jenna suggested, shooting Lulu a quick glance. Lulu realized where she was going with this and nodded. If they could get the Weasels to lose control…then maybe they could escape with Roger…

"So, you boys got names, or what?" Jenna asked as the Toon Patrol began tearing through desk drawers.

The leader raised his eyebrows. "What do you care?"

"If you're going to be interrogating us, you might as well do it properly," Lulu shrugged. "I'll start, if it'll make you feel any…less weird or whatever. I'm Lulu, that's Jenna, and she's Alicia. And you know who Eddie Valiant is."

"Smart Ass," the leader muttered after a moment.

"Hey, I was just asking!" She exclaimed, offended.

"And you got your answer. My _name_ is Smart Ass," he replied bitterly. "This is Greasy—"

"_Hola, señoritas_," the second-in-command winked. Jenna giggled a little.

"—that's Wheezy—"

The blue one with the dozens of cigarettes in his mouth coughed. Alicia winced when she saw his nicotine-stained fingernails prying through Eddie's stuff.

"—he's Psycho—"

"Hee," the one in the straitjacket giggled, covering his head with his sleeves. He carefully watched Eddie out of the corner of his eyes, which were swirling, purple, and totally bizarre.

"—and there's Stupid," the leader concluded, pointing at the chubby one with the funny hat and shoes.

"Nice names," Alicia said sarcastically. "Did your mama give you those names, or was it the doctor?"

"Shut your trap," he commanded, pointing the gun at her. "Now that we've got this tea-party chatter out of the way, let's get down to business." He strode back to the sink, where Eddie still was, trying to hide Roger.

"Look, Valiant, we heard from a reliable tip that the rabbit was here, and was corrugated by several sources! So cut the bull-shtick!"

"You keep talking like that and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out!" Eddie chastised, shoving a bar of soap into Smart Ass's mouth. The weasel lost his balance and stumbled backwards. If he had been standing up, he would have seen the fugitive flailing and gasping for air in the sink. For a terrible moment, they all thought that Roger had blown his cover, as all of the weasels turned to stare at their boss in the kitchen…and then they laughed when he began choking on the soap, falling into hysteria.

"Stop that laughing!" Greasy and Psycho ignored him, dropping their weapons—a switchblade and a razor—and giggled harder. Their laughter was contagious, and Lulu and Jenna started cracking up, too. Smarty spit out the soap, which struck Wheezy in the face and sending him crashing into the windows.

"Do you know what happens when you can't—stop—laughing?" He hollered, bringing a toilet plunger down on the heads of Psycho, and Greasy. He then threw it as the guffawing Stupid, silencing his compatriot.

"One of these days you're going to DIE laughing!" He scolded, before walking back into the kitchen area. Jenna and Lulu were in there, avoiding Smart Ass's rage and trying to keep Roger hidden. He turned to the two of them, and punctuated his next few words carefully. "The show business is a dangerous one. If you don't watch out, you're gonna end up hurt."

"I didn't think you cared," Lulu told him, pretending to be deeply moved. He ignored her and hopped up next to the sink.

"And as for you, Valiant, step out of line, and we'll hang you and your laundry out…to dry!" He splashed some of the soapy water on Eddie and walked away, snickering. "C'mon, boys, let's am-scray…"

"Bye-bye, Sergeant Smarty," Lulu called out, giving a mock salute.

"Looney Lulu Toons!"

"Nice comeback," Alicia complimented once they were gone.

"Let's hope he doesn't keep calling me that," Lulu mumbled, twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

"He probably will, if you keep calling him Sergeant Smarty," Jenna pointed out as Roger surfaced for air.

"It's okay," Eddie told him. "They're gone now."

"Jeepers, Eddie," Roger exclaimed, wringing the water out of his ears. "You saved my life! How can I ever repay you?" He was so grateful that he planted a big, slobbery kiss on Eddie's face. The girls—excluding Alicia—watched and giggled.

"For starters, don't EVER kiss me again!" He spit once he pulled away.

"That's Alicia's job," Jenna said in a stage whisper to Lulu. Eddie didn't hear her, but Alicia did.

"Shut up," she said quietly. "Just shut up."

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	9. Chapter 9

**Alicia—Bob Hoskins is RETIRING? NOO! He can't! They're making a Roger Rabbit sequel, and it won't be the same without him!**

**Jenna—Warning: the chapters following this one will have dangerously high levels of weasels. Reader discretion is advised. ;)**

**AL19—Her name is Lena Hyena, and…let's just say that she's going to play a slightly larger role in the story. I love the scene in the bar when Roger's singing! You'll see what I'll do with that later!**

**Okay, two important announcements for you all. One: I have said this before, and I'll say it again. If you have not checked out the deleted scene from Roger Rabbit, I strongly encourage that you do so now. This is your last chance. Two: SERIOUSLY? I've gotten over EIGHTY visitors for this story! REVIEW, DARN IT! Please? :)**

Chapter Nine

Smuggling a Toon rabbit into the Terminal Station Bar wasn't easy. Roger kept squirming beneath the trench coat that Eddie wore, trying desperately to get away. "Do you want for us to help you?" Jenna growled as the bunny kicked.

"Where are we going? Who turned out the lights?" The celebrity regurgitated classic cartoon lines, but they sighed in relief when Eddie spotted Dolores waiting tables. He called her over, and shoved Roger down when he poked his head out of Eddie's collar.

"Is that a rabbit in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Dolores asked, staring at the bulge in Eddie's pants.

"Cut the comedy, Dolores," Eddie hissed, dragging her off. "I've had a very bad day." He led the rest of them to a secret room…a hidden one behind the wall! It was darker and messier than the rest of the bar, but still, pretty cool. Posters of miscellaneous people (most of whom were women) covered the walls, cobwebs clung to the wooden furniture, and the boards squeaked and creaked…

"This is so cool," Lulu gushed, looking around. "I've never been in a speakeasy!"

"What's a speakeasy?" Jenna asked, impressed by everything that she could see. Roger had hit his head on the single source of light: a lamp hanging from the ceiling. It swung back and forth, casting eerie shadows over everyone.

"This is where people used to come and drink during probation," Lulu explained. "I've never seen one in person!"

"And there's a reason for that: people aren't supposed to know about them," Dolores reminded her.

"Your secret is safe with us," Jenna promised, crossing her heart.

"Can you help Eddie?" Alicia asked Dolores, changing the subject. Eddie showed her the handcuffs that held him and Roger together.

"I have some things he can use," Dolores replied, opening an old tool box that stood off to the side. She handed him a handsaw, and Eddie got to work.

"Watch your wrist," Alicia advised.

"It's harder than it looks!" He complained. He was resting his confined hand on top of a wobbly box, and it kept shaking as he moved the saw.

"Does this help?" Roger asked, sliding his hand out of the cuffs and balancing the box.

"Yeah, thanks," Eddie told him gratefully…then gave Roger the evil eye when he put two and two together. The rabbit hastily slid his wrist back into the cuff, but it was too late.

"You mean you could have removed yourself at ANY TIME?" Eddie almost shouted.

"Not at any time! I can only when it's funny!" Eddie lunged at him, but Roger escaped, bounding across the room and landing in one of those fun rotating chairs that you see in fast-food restaurants. "Come on, Eddie, lighten up!"

"Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?" Dolores wondered sarcastically.

"Listen, my philosophy is this: if you don't have a good sense of humor, then you're better off dead!" Roger said earnestly.

"If you're not careful, you will be!" Lulu scolded as he began giggling in his high-pitched voice.

"Can he stay here?" Jenna asked worriedly.

"If it's not too much trouble," Lulu added. "We can't have him back at Eddie's in case the Toon Patrol comes back."

"Does he have to?" Dolores asked when she saw Roger running a nail file through his ears, grinning blissfully and sighing contentedly. She gave in when she saw the pleading glances the girls were sending her. "Fine," she groaned, walking over to help Eddie free himself. "Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"Could you drop by probate court? See who who's poking around Acme's estate," Eddie suggested, and Dolores nodded.

"Yeah, check the probate! My Uncle Bugs had problems with his probate, and he had to take these really big pills and drink LOTS of water!" Roger interrupted.

"Not prostate, you idiot, PROBATE," Eddie corrected impatiently.

"So what are _we_ gonna do now?" Lulu asked, looking at Eddie intently.

"How would you girls like to swing by the Ink and Paint Club again for old times' sake?"

"We went there for the first time yesterday," Alicia reminded him.

"All the more reason to go," he concluded triumphantly.

"Yeah, but Bongo's going to throw us out if he sees us there," Jenna pointed out. "What are we going to do about that?"

"Simple," Eddie said confidently…and the girls mentally raised a red flag. When the odds are in your favor…watch out, especially if you're with a not-so-popular private eye.

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_Review, please! :)_


	10. Chapter 10

**Alicia—Wow, I totally didn't know that! Well, that's too bad...poor Bob. I guess that means that they won't make a sequel, and I guess that's for the best. I mean, no one can replace Bob Hoskins!**

**AL19—I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! I don't know if you've seen it or not, but I strongly recommend that you check out the deleted scene from the movie before you continue.**

**Jenna—Not enough weasels here? Don't worry…there's plenty more to come. And you wanted for me to send you a sneak peek of tomorrow's chapter…I'm working on it as we speak!**

Chapter Ten

Eddie placed his hat up by the window to Jessica's dressing room, using it as protection from the glass that scattered as he broke in. He glanced around anxiously, making sure that they weren't being followed…although Lulu thought that somebody had to have heard the glass shattering. Eddie tried not to let his doubts get in the way of the current objective, and he slid into the room.

"Are you sure about this?" Jenna asked, climbing in after Eddie.

"What could go wrong?" He replied, pulling Lulu and Alicia in once she was inside.

That was the last thing they heard him say before they were knocked out.

* * *

Judge Doom was standing over them, still imposing and dark. The girls moaned and shifted as they came to. Although they wanted to get the hell away from the sinister gargoyle of a judge, they didn't want to get up…especially since they were so tired. "Pick him up," he commanded somebody, and the girls saw Bongo force Eddie into a chair. That woke them up. They got up on their own, not wanting to be pushed around by some furry beast. They leaned against the wall, surveying the room they were in. Jessica Rabbit was there, too, sitting on a couch and ignoring everybody present.

"Wandering around ladies' dressing rooms?" The judge tsked, frowning at Eddie. "What were you hoping to find?"

"Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir," Jessica reminisced, seductively crossing her legs as she stared at Eddie.

"He wasn't looking for underwear," Alicia interrupted, not ready to take any crap from the A-list Toon.

"You know damn well what I was looking for!" Eddie told the judge. "I was looking for Acme's will!"

"Marvin Acme had no will," Doom said. "I should know. His estate is under my jurisdiction." He took his seat in a fat armchair, watching Eddie's reactions carefully…he still hadn't acknowledged the presence of the girls. That was fine with them. They didn't want attention from a creepy old man!

"Just like the rest of this world, right?" Lulu asked herself under her breath. Nobody paid attention to her.

"Oh, there was a will, all right!" Jenna argued.

"And she and Maroon killed Acme for it!" Alicia accused, pointing at the Toon woman.

"That's absurd!" Jessica yelled, standing up and placing her hands on her hips.

"Someone else is in here, looking for it, probably one of Maroon's flunkies! And I probably would have found it if he hadn't gotten in the way of our search," Eddie shot at Bongo. The gorilla tried grabbing at the detective, roaring in outrage. But, surprisingly, it was the judge that held him back.

"Easy, Bongo," he coaxed. "We'll handle Mr. Valiant our own way…downtown." He shot the four of them a toothy smile. The girls shuddered.

"Downtown," Eddie echoed, smiling in relief. "Fine, let's go. Get Santino, I'd love to go downtown."

"And maybe we could do some shopping," Jenna hinted, staring enviously at the pretty dress that Jessica was wearing.

"Oh, I'm not talking about _that_ downtown," the judge said. "I'm talking about _downtown Toon Town_." Every syllable was pronounced clearly, and Eddie's face was wiped of everything except for sheer terror and panic. The door to the room opened, and there stood the Toon Patrol, giggling, coughing, and smiling…oh, and leering at the girls, but they were used to that by now. Jenna was still enjoying it. But why, she wondered with faint jealousy, was Greasy staring at Alicia?

"You were warned to stay out of this case, Mr. Valiant," Smarty reminded him, strutting into the room and adjusting his tie. "But you didn't." His eyes widened with anticipation, and they glinted with pure evil.

"No, not Toon Town," Eddie pleaded. "No, no, NO!" His pleas were lost on them, and their laughter grew louder. They only stopped long enough to order Bongo to escort Eddie to their car, and then personally show the girls the way. Jessica did nothing to intervene, and the judge only watched and nodded his approval. Eddie was still trembling when he was thrown in the back of the car, still screaming his pleas. He was silent only when Psycho and Wheezy held their weapons against his head, challenging him to speak up. He didn't.

And the girls were shaking, completely oblivious of everything that was going to happen to them during that night. They were sort of excited at the opportunity to see more Toons. But they were even more afraid of what the weasels would do with them. Should they try to make a run for it? What if they got lost in Toon Town? Would anybody help them? No one would recognize them. Some many quiet, nagging thoughts pestered them as they were transported to their dreams come true and worst nightmares.

But the one thing they didn't doubt that the hours that they were going to spend in Toon Town would take an eternity to pass…if only that time wasn't so short!

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Oh, and by the way, all of that stuff I said a few chapters ago about one chapter being my masterpiece...ignore it. The NEXT chapters, all of them together, will be my masterpiece. *sniff* Do you smell that? That's the smell of blood, sweat, tears, heart, soul, and mind all mixed together. That's everything that I am putting into the next chapters._

_Be hyped. Be VERY hyped._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The door opened, and the figures of Greasy, Smarty, and Wheezy stood against the sudden flash of light. It was nighttime, but the world outside of the car was very bright and loud. "Do it," Smarty ordered, and Wheezy stepped into the car, and the girls realized that he was carrying four large burlap sacks in his arms. He slipped one over each of their heads, and they suddenly couldn't see a thing. "Move it," Smart Ass said, and Lulu felt him nudge her with something sharp and metallic—a knife, she guessed.

"I'm not going out there!" Alicia protested, stalling for time. "It's freezing!" This was true. In spite of all of the warm colors, the temperature was surprisingly cold…the Toons didn't need to worry about being too hot or too cold. Her teeth were chattering under the sack.

"I'll handle this one," the low voice of Greasy volunteered, and Alicia suddenly squealed.

"Yikes! Who's touching me?"

"_Lo siento, chica_," The weasel's smile was present in his voice.

"I'm cold, too," Jenna whined, now really upset that Greasy wasn't paying as much attention to her as he was the other day. What had changed? Had she said something? No…she didn't get a chance to talk to him. Alicia hadn't said anything…

"Get moving," Wheezy grumbled, and the girls were nudged with weapons again. They were guided outside of the car and marched through the streets of the town, all while having something metallic jabbing them in the back. They could hear people laughing all around them, and there was music, sweet beautiful music that was nostalgic and harmonious—

And then it stopped. They had entered a building now…they could tell from the sounds that their feet made. The ground wasn't concrete anymore; it was common wood. The bags were yanked off of their heads, and they got a good look at the building they were in. It looked no different from the Acme Warehouse, except that there were more rooms and less crates and boxes. "What is this place?" Lulu asked.

"Hideout," Stupid answered innocently, earning him a smack on the back of the head from Smarty.

"Haven't you heard of a little thing called secret-see?" He scolded, pronouncing "secrecy" incorrectly. "Let's split them up," he continued, taking charge again. "Put these two in there, and put them in there. You and you, stand outside in case they try something funny. You and you, keep watch out here. I'll handle this myself. Any questions?"

Stupid raised his hand.

"Good," Smarty said, ignoring him. "Get to work. Now," he smiled devilishly. "I have a little errand to run. Keep them here. And don't let anybody in, unless it's the judge. Got it?" They all nodded, as compliant as robots. He shot Eddie a victorious grin as he left the building, and the detective stiffened, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing him freaked out even more. Once their leader was gone, Psycho and Greasy threw Alicia and Eddie into one room. Wheezy and Stupid threw the other two girls into another one, directly opposite. They were separated now.

* * *

"Ha," Psycho giggled. "Trapped like rats. Ha." He was hugging himself tightly as he stared at the two prisoners with his creepy eyes. Alicia shuddered. She didn't like the way they looked, and Eddie didn't, either. He refused to stare that weasel directly in the eye.

"Come on," Greasy ordered, grabbing Psycho by the arm. "Let's wait outside."

"Straitjacket…?" Psycho said curiously, looking at the second-in-command intently.

"Maybe later," the reply was, and they were gone.

"Eddie, are you okay?" Alicia asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"If they ask you anything, just say that you need a lawyer," Eddie answered in a strained voice. "They can tell you anything to get you to talk. Don't believe anything they say. Just say that you need a lawyer. Got it?"

"Got it," she echoed, closing her eyes. They were in so much trouble…she was just beginning to realize that.

* * *

"Stay in here," Wheezy coughed, pushing Jenna and Lulu into the room. They heard the door lock behind them and they glanced around, looking for a way to escape. There were no other doors. And the one window in the room was too tiny for them to fit through.

"Ugh!" Jenna groaned. "What are we going to do?" Lulu glanced around frantically. There was a small table in there…and two chairs…nothing could be done with them. And they couldn't take on the Toon Patrol. They'd be overpowered.

"Maybe there's something in there," Lulu said, suddenly pointing at the file cabinet that was pushed against the wall, resting directly under the window. "Like a map would be great. Or there could be real, hard-core evidence that could help Roger…or—!"

"—the will!" Jenna gasped, and they bent over by the cabinet, reading the labels on each drawer. Merry Melodies, Happy Harmonies, Silly Symphonies, the complete records of every Toon ever drawn...and nothing useful! They sighed in disappointment as they opened the last drawer, which was the only one not labeled. It contained two folders, both full of identical documents. (The great thing about lawyers, Lulu had learned, was that they liked making copies of things. Perhaps the judge was like that—organized and prepared for anything.) The folders were labeled. On the front of them, in big black letters, this screamed out at them:

**The Fleischer Files….**

* * *

_The End!_

_I'm just joking. Seriously, this next chapter will blow…your…minds. Why are you NOT reviewing? ;)_

_(Sorry for not giving any shoutouts at the beginning of this chapter, by the way. I was kind of in a hurry to get this written...because a CERTAIN SOMEONE (Jenna) kept pressuring me! (Okay, I'm joking. But it is getting a little harder for me to get these chapters finished on time...I'll give out shoutouts in the next chapter, I promise! Jenna, Alicia, greatbigsealover44, and AL19, you guys rock!)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Alicia—The Lulu Fan Girl is confronted by her rival: the shitty Hollywood sequel! She nurses a deep grudge against the greedy movie producers. REVENGE WILL SOON BE HERS! Mwah ha hah ha hah! *coughs* Okay…now that I've gotten my fan girl outrage out of the way, let's proceed with the story! I hope you don't mind, but the next two chapters (including this one) are going to focus mostly on me and Jenna. But I'm making up for it with these HUGE scenes with you and Eddie, I promise! I think that you're going to love them!**

**Jenna—What are the Fleischer Files? Now you know! (And knowing is half the battle…G.I. Joe? Wow, I know that reference…) Oh, I think that you'll enjoy the end of this chapter a lot. ;)**

**greatbigsealover44—I know! The weasels are my favorite part of the movie, too! Tell me what you think about this sudden character development!**

**AL19—Yeah, the deleted scene was a little weird, but I think that it will be justified here.**

Chapter Twelve

"Look at these," Lulu said in amazement, gingerly flipping through the pages of the folder. They were mostly newspaper articles, and some of the words were too faded to be read, and the pages were wrinkled and yellow, but they could make out the following headlines: "Wacky Weasels in _Weasels and Mumps_"; "Wacky Weasels in _Pop-Go-Those-Weasels_"; "Wacky Weasels in _Weasel it Out_"…

"Oh, gosh," Jenna breathed, holding up a black-and-white photograph attached to the front page of an old report. "Look at this!" It was of fourteen people—eight Toons, four men, and two little boys. They were grouped together, all grinning at each other and at whoever was taking the photo. Three of the Toons were hyenas, and the girls didn't recognize them, but the other five were—

"It's the Toon Patrol!" Lulu gasped. They skimmed through the article, mouthing the words of the story as they read:

"History was made yesterday as an agreement was made between Fleischer Studios and Acme Animations. On the sunny afternoon of March 30th, 1929, Marvin Acme signed a contract that relinquished his rights to seven cartoon stars: the Happy Hyenas (Ragtag, Hunter, and Twitchy) and the Wacky Weasels (Smart Ass "Smarty", Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid). With the Toons' permission, Acme placed the finishing touches on the documents required to transfer them from his company to Fleischer Studios.

"'I was shocked and upset when they came to me, telling me that they wanted to quit,' Marvin Acme later confided. 'We've had such good times together. But I calmed down, and I eventually realized that this is, after all, for the best. And I hope that we'll always keep in touch and remain close.'

"The Happy Hyenas and the Wacky Weasels are the creations (or, as animators like to call them, 'brain children') of Acme. They were initially created for children's cartoons, but both comedic groups have expressed a desire to move in a different direction with the decreasing popularity of Acme Animations.

"'Marvin's a great guy,' Ragtag Hyena was quoted as saying in his trailer. 'We—my brothers and cousins—are really glad that we got to spend almost a decade with him.'

"'It's nothing personal,' Smart Ass Weasel added. 'It's just business. We've never been good with kids, and Mr. Acme knows that.'

"Acme's work is more family-oriented, but the new Fleischer Studios have produced works intended for a more adult audience. The Hyenas and Weasels hope to gain a more mature fan base, away from the younger viewers.'

"'We've been having fun,' Twitchy Hyena confided, 'but not as much fun as we thought we'd be having when we signed up for this business. There are certain things you can't do or say when little kids are watching you. It really puts a damper on things.'

"'I don't think we've had as many fans as Marvin keeps telling us we do,' Wheezy Weasel laughed. 'So I don't think that our transfer will have that big of an impact on kids' lives. But to the few fans that we do have, we wish to apologize. We never intended to hurt them. And we hope that they will see us again in the future, when they're older.'

"The Fleischer Brothers—Max, Dave, and Lou—have all declared themselves to be devout fans of both the Happy Hyenas and the Wacky Weasels. They have released a statement expressing their excitement about getting to work with them and how their nephews (the sons of Lou Fleischer) will be monitoring them as a creative consultant. 'There're two fans that we won't be losing,' Smart Ass joked after a meeting with the Fleischer Family.

"'Charlie and Richie are sweet kids,' Hunter said after meeting his four-year-old and eight-year-old admirers. 'But will they like the changes they're making to our routine? We'll ask them when they're thirty.'

"Richie and Charlie…Richard and Charles," Lulu muttered, closing her eyes thoughtfully. "Where have I heard those names before?"

"Keep reading," Jenna ordered, shuffling through the contents of the folder. For a while, everybody was smiling in the photographs, and the headlines were all cheerful. But suddenly, after only a few years of employment, more depressing news started showing up.

"Tragedy in Toon Town"; "Happy Hyenas Die Laughing"; "Grim Scientific Discovery: Toons Can Die"…

"Ragtag, Hunter, and Twitchy Hyena, best known as the Happy Hyenas by their devoted admirers, passed away last night during a live interview with former Disney animator T. Hee. Several fans, young and old, watched the event unfold.

"'It was scary,' Charles Fleischer, a self-proclaimed biggest fan and the nephew of two of the three Fleischer Brothers, later sobbed. 'I was in the front seat. I saw them go all still, and then they kind of left their bodies and started floating away.'

"The five most famous people in the Fleischer Family were present when their employees died. The cousins of the Hyenas, the Wacky Weasels, also witnessed what occurred.

"'It's awful,' Wheezy said his comforted his hysterical brother, Stupid. 'Nothing can describe what we're feeling right now.'

"'All that (explicit) about Toons not feeling pain is what I said it is: (explicit),' Greasy Weasel complained bitterly. 'We do feel pain,' he added before releasing a string of Spanish swears that are too vulgar to be published.

"The only Weasel that has not issued a statement regarding the incident is Smart Ass, the fan favorite of the Wacky Weasels. However, his brother, Psycho, has announced that he, along with the rest of the family, will be present at the funeral: the first one for Toons. Other scheduled appearances will be made by Betty Boop, Bimbo, Felix the Cat, and other close friends and co-workers. In addition to their cousins, the Happy Hyenas are survived by Hunter's widow, Lena, and their godson, Ed."

A few pictures taken at the funeral were enclosed. Three black coffins were taken through the streets of the town, and several onlookers, Toon and non-Toon, watched with silent awe and grim dignity. For a small while following this historical event, everything was quiet…and then the next hurricane struck.

"Production of the latest Fleischer Studios cartoon was halted when Psycho Weasel, the second youngest of the Wacky Weasels, was hospitalized after a series of seizures on the set. The cartoon, which was going to be called _Pachyderm Psychology_, would have had a large focus on Psycho and have the rest of the Wacky Weasels in more supportive roles."

There was a picture of Psycho in his straitjacket…no longer worn as a joke, but now for his own protection. There was something in his eyes that screamed that he was gone…he had a mind that would make no sense to the rest of the world. And then…

"After the latest incident on set, the Fleischer Brothers have announced that they intend to sell their company to the highest bidder. The future for their Toon employees looks grim, but Betty Boop remains optimistic about the future.

"'There's a lot of potential with the show biz,' Betty said. 'And I've still got my charm. Maybe I can get a few people to come to the Ink and Paint Club. And I know that this wasn't an easy decision for Max and Dave. I'll keep in touch with them, and if they ever need me, they can drop me a note.'

"The Wacky Weasels, meanwhile, have not parted from the studio on good terms with the Fleischer Brothers. When they left their trailers on their last day, they were reportedly 'so furious that steam was coming out of their ears'.

"''The last words that Max ever said to us pretty much ruined all chances of a future calibration,' Smart Ass commented nastily. '_Watch yourself instead of cartoons. Learn something from the real world, not from drawings. Survive or die. Kill or be killed._ That's what he said, word for word. And I think that if they knew how to kill us Toons, they would. It would be cheaper than firing us.'"

Max Fleischer's words were the exact words that Smart Ass had said to Lulu the day they met. She suppressed a shudder and kept reading. "'It sounds like sage advice,' the oldest Wacky Weasel remarked, lighting a cigar."

The rest of the article was blurred and couldn't be read. Jenna and Lulu kept pouring through the pages of the folders, their eyes growing wider and wider. For a while, there was nothing about the Fleischer Brothers or the Wacky Weasels…it was just some updates on Marvin Acme, and how he was becoming more and more popular. At least his business decision had been for the best. One of the last pages in the folder was a tiny little square that read simply:

"Fleischer Studios has now become Maroon Cartoons. R.K. Maroon, a close friend of Marvin Acme, has purchased the company that was previously owned by the Fleischer Brothers. He will not continue to make cartoons for grown-ups, and instead release a series of shorts that will introduce the latest cartoon sensations to the public: Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman."

And the very last pages were pictures: one was of the Toon Patrol in uniform, smiling at the camera proudly. The other was of a piano that had fallen on the head of somebody…Teddy Valiant. And the last was of Jessica Rabbit playing patty cake with Marvin Acme.

"Oh, my God," Lulu kept repeating. "Oh, my God…oh, wow, oh wow, wow…"

The door jerked open, and the girls leapt a foot into the air. They hadn't heard it unlock. Smarty stood there…was that a can of paint in his hand? "What are you doing with those?" He demanded furiously, seeing what they were looking at. "Put those away!"

"Smarty, you did have fans!" Lulu cried, waving her folder in the air. The weasel dropped the paint and ran towards her, trying to get the file away. She was taller than him, and she had the upper hand in this battle…

…and Jenna saw another one when he mentioned that they were there to be questioned, not to question. "I suggest you develop a more humble attitude. You wouldn't want for these articles to resurface, would you?"

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't…"

"With that at stake, my demands should seem fairly reasonable," Jenna concluded airily, and Lulu cracked a grin. She couldn't help but admire her friend's nerve.

Smarty Weasel's eyes grew even wider. "What kind of demands?"

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_Review, please! :)_


	13. Chapter 13

**Alicia—Oh, yeah! I have him right where I want him. By the way…okay, the next few chapters will not have as much of you and Eddie as I had hoped…but, like I keep saying, I'm making up for it with these HUGE, HUGE, HUGE scenes! I think you're going to love them. I KNOW you're going to love them!**

**Jenna—Oh, I think that you'll like them. ;) They're very realistic…**

**Hearts Aglow—You're welcome! Wait…why are you thanking me? (Hey, whatever it is, I'm glad to get another review! LOL!) Seriously, though, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

Chapter Thirteen

"That's more like it!" Jenna chirped. "Okay…first, I want to talk to Greasy…alone. Second, I want to get some pamphlets in here, all on real estate in Toon Town. Third, I want for someone to bring here a list of certain Toons…I'll tell you their names…wait, why are you not writing this down?"

Smarty's eyes were bugging out of his head. "You're out of your mind!"

"Well…okay, okay…fine, you win," Jenna threw her hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "But tomorrow morning…I'll go to R.K. Maroon and pitch him an idea for an educational short called _Animated Autobiographies_…and we can have a long section devoted to the Wacky Weasels. So what's it going to be?"

Jenna was in the other room now. After a conference between the Toon Patrol members, they agreed to a few of the demands, but they had to honor them on their conditions. For starters, Greasy wasn't allowed to be alone with Jenna in the other room. Wheezy was with him. (Smarty and Stupid were with Lulu now, and Psycho was guarding over Alicia and Eddie.) They didn't agree to the other two terms, but Jenna seemed content with having at least one of them satisfied. "Never put the low priorities first," she whispered to Lulu before she was escorted into a separate room.

"Why didn't you all stick around the crime scene?" Lulu wondered aloud, looking at Smarty. "You've been running around in circles, chasing after some rabbit, and you're not even sure if he's the culprit."

"He is," Smarty insisted, sitting down in a chair opposite her. "We know all about foreign-sick's," he bragged, and Lulu giggled.

"The proper word is 'forensics', stupid."

"He's not Stupid, I am!" The chubby weasel called out, pointing to himself with a fat thumb. Lulu slapped a hand to her face.

"I wasn't talking to you, idiot."

"No, I'm Stupid, not Idiot!" Another slap to the face was delivered, but then she turned to Smart Ass, ignoring Stupid.

"Let's play a game," Lulu suggested. Smarty narrowed his eyes at her. "_Quid pro quo_," she continued. "You answer my questions, I'll answer yours…and if you want to play the whole 'good cop, bad cop' game, you'll have to do it yourself, meaning he can't be here." She nodded at Stupid, who smiled sheepishly and left the room. Smarty and Lulu were alone. "Go ahead," she urged. "Ask me anything."

"Since when did you start giving me orders?" He demanded.

"Since you separated me and Jenna, I think," she replied in a matter-of-fact way. She was relishing the sudden control she had of the situation, and it was driving Smart Ass crazy. "How long are you planning on keeping us in here?"

"Until you give us answers," he said firmly.

"I know about what happened at Fleischer Studios," she told him gently, and he softened a little. "Why did you guys join the Toon Patrol?"

"Judge Doom was very persuasive," he replied, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. "Found us after we found out about Maroon Cartoons."

"Have you met Roger Rabbit in person before?" Lulu asked, forgetting that it was Smarty's turn to ask her a question.

"Briefly," he muttered, slumping over in his seat. "Nice guy."

"Why are you after him now?"

"All of the evidence says that he's guilty of the crime of murder. And I'm just doing my job."

"It's just business, is that it?" She said bitterly, and his eyes shot open.

"When you put it that way, yes, it is. What do you think we're going to do with you, Valiant, and your two little friends?"

"I don't know what you're doing with Eddie and Alicia, and I don't know what Greasy is doing with Jenna, but I suspect that we're all getting the same treatment," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "And all I know is…the last time a girl was thrown in the back of a car and kidnapped, she was sodomized, tortured, and lit on fire. Is that what you're going to do?"

"Now, now…we wouldn't want to hurt any more pretty faces, would we?" He chuckled. And then he stood up, walked over to her chair, and placed the tip of his switchblade under her chin. Lulu shuddered, not because she was frightened or disgusted, but because she was…kind of flattered in a sick, twisted way. It had been a while before anyone had said she was pretty. (The last person to say she was pretty was a six-year-old, but she digressed.) Okay, how did the logic in Cool World work? If a Doodle had sex with a real person, then the Doodle would become a real person. But…would that make Smart Ass a real person…or a real weasel? Gross! There was no way she was going to make love with a disgusting animal…wait, why was she thinking about having sex with Smarty? This was just screaming "AWKWARD!" And then, what if—

And then, before she knew it, Smart Ass had leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

Oh, wait. Who cared? And did that matter?

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_Review, please! :)_

_R.I.P. Shanda Sharer __(June 6, 1979 – January 11, 1992)_

_For those of you who don't know, Shanda Sharer was the girl my character mentioned earlier while she was talking to Smarty. In light of Amanda Todd's suicide, I've been thinking a lot about girls who were victims of bullying or abuse. Shanda was one of them. I dedicate this chapter to her._


	14. Chapter 14

**ekcandyapple—Welcome back! I'm glad you're still reading the story! Yes, I've been working really hard on these chapters, and I'm trying to keep them as awesome as possible!**

**Hearts Aglow—Oh, you're welcome! I do my best to please my readers! LOL!**

**greatbigsealover44—Thank you! By the way, I was wondering if you were planning on continuing your Scarlet story, or are you going to finish Psycho's Girlfriend first? Some people like working on multiple stories at the same time, and some prefer working on only one at a time.**

**Jenna—Here is your big chapter with Greasy! And I've been thinking a lot about what you said in one of our email exchanges…let's just say that I think that there will be some smut. And even though I won't explicitly talk about it…everyone will know. Won't say anything more, because that'll spoil yet another surprise! By the way, this chapter has some of the sneak peeks that I sent you in another email. I had to change a few things, and I almost considered taking them out of the story…but they're too good, so I left them in! Are you feeling better, by the way? I hope so!**

**AL19—Yes, I know. I read a book about the incident. It's unfortunate that she got caught up in that love triangle, and it's unfortunate that one of the girls involved was mentally unstable. (Two of the four murderers were, actually. The other two I don't exactly blame for what happened. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and they didn't believe what was happening until it was too late. And I'm glad that one of them had the guts to go to the cops and confess.)**

Chapter Fourteen

The weasels hadn't been very gentle when they were escorting Jenna into the other room, and she had been pushed into a wall once inside. She had hit her head a little. Even though she wasn't in a lot of pain, she pretended to be unconscious, for two reasons. First, she had no idea what to say to Greasy, even though they were alone. Second of all, Wheezy was there. She would wait for him to leave before talking.

"Is she okay?" Wheezy asked as he locked the door. Jenna had been lying motionless on the floor for a few moments now. "She isn't dead, is she?"

"Move it!" Greasy called out, and Jenna could hear footsteps coming closer to her. "I know CPR!" She had to bite on her tongue to keep from smiling enthusiastically. He did care about her after all! Of course, she wasn't going to forgive him for hitting on Alicia…especially since Alicia was practically drooling over Eddie. And Jenna wasn't the type who liked playing second fiddle to anybody, even her best friends.

"You do not!" Wheezy argued, and Jenna rolled her eyes from behind closed lids. "Leave her alone! Boss said not to touch them!"

"I do!"

"You don't!"

"I do!"

"You don't!"

"He doesn't," Jenna murmured, not opening her eyes or moving an inch.

"Yes, he does!" Wheezy argued.

"No, he doesn't!" She said, not able to resist smiling this time.

"Yes, I do! Now, if you'll both stuff a cork in it, I've got lives to save," Greasy said importantly, and Jenna held her breath in anticipation…she knew that he was above her, and she felt his warm breath on her face, and couldn't help the blush that was on her cheeks. And she waited...and waited…and then—

"Hey, wait a minute…you're not sleeping."

"Oh, for crying out loud," Jenna said angrily, sitting up now and staring him directly in the eyes. "I'm guessing that you've spent your whole life hitting on women, but when one tries flirting with you, you totally screw up your one chance? What is wrong with you?"

Greasy was speechless. Wheezy was giggling a little in the background, and Jenna shot him the glare of death.

"I'm not finished yet. So you shut up," she ordered, and he immediately fell silent, still watching the scene, enjoying the entertainment. "Oh, well," she continued, glaring at Greasy. "I guess that you'll have to settle with Alicia. Oh, wait. She doesn't like you. I guess you've blown it with both of us. That sucks for you. But here's some future advice: girls don't like it when they're considered the back-up option, the person who will have to do if the prettier girl isn't available."

"Do you think she's prettier than you?" Greasy asked, laughing a little.

"I never said that," Jenna glowered. "But this goes without saying: you couldn't have Alicia, so you've decided that I'll have to do. Sorry if I'm not good enough."

"_Chica, tu eres más bonita de sus amigas_," he laughed harder, grinning. She rolled her eyes.

"Speak English!" Wheezy groaned, now bored of the mild flirting.

"He said that he thinks that you're prettier than your friends."

"Oh!" Jenna said, blushing again, partially from embarrassment, and partially from pleasure. Greasy grinned back at her.

"That's one pretty smile, eh, Wheezy?"

Now Wheezy was really fed up with the romantic banter. "As nauseatingly sweet as this all is, do you think we can proceed with the questioning now?"

"At least it's not as gross as your coughing fits," Jenna shot back, and Greasy laughed a little harder…then got serious when he looked over the list of Toon names that Jenna had written down.

"I don't know any of these people. Why do you want to see them, huh? Who the hell is this Jafar guy? And why the hell do you have little hearts surrounding his name?"

Jenna blushed. "You don't think that I like him more than you, do you?" She mocked. In the back of her mind, she began waving a humungous red flag, because she had just asked a question that she didn't dare answer. Having to choose between two of her animated crushes was like having to choose between…gosh, she didn't know! It was like having to choose between a room filled with her favorite Disney movies and a free trip to Disney World! It had no answer…it was impossible to solve!

"Anyway, they're not important right now," she told him. "You guys have already determined that you aren't going to get any of them, and that's fine. All that matters is that we're alone…together," she hinted. Greasy's eyes grew wider, and Jenna smiled seductively.

"Oh, for Pete's sake," Wheezy shouted, strutting towards the door. "If you all excuse me, I'm going to go vomit now."

"Have fun with that!" Jenna called after him, and she and Greasy collapsed into a fit of giggles.

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_Review, please! :)_


	15. Chapter 15

**ekcandyapple—I'll continue to read your story as soon as I get the chance, which will probably be tonight. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter!**

**Jenna—Wow, thanks! Well, here is Alicia's chapter, but then after that, we get to some more really good stuff. You'll see when the time comes. ;)**

**By the way, everyone…last night I promised Jenna that I would post two chapters in one day if I could stay up until midnight. Unfortunately, I fell asleep, but I'll try again tonight. I will also upload two chapters in one day once I get 100 reviews!**

Chapter Fifteen

All five of the weasels were present for this interrogation. It hadn't started that way. It had just been Psycho, sitting across the room from them, giggling and shouting random words like: "Straitjacket!" or "Applesauce!" He occasionally waved his razor in the air, asking nobody in particular if he could use it on somebody. Alicia was immensely relieved when Stupid and Wheezy appeared to supervise the mentally unstable member of the Toon Patrol. Eddie was still in a state of shock, but Alicia was keeping his advice in mind. And she got to use it when Smarty and Greasy (both of whom were considerably pink in the face) made their dramatic entrance. This interrogation was more professional than the other two were, but Alicia didn't know that. The two lead weasels had dragged two chairs into the room and were sitting in them, with the reclining bodies of Alicia and Eddie at their feet. Eddie refused to look at any of the Toon Patrol members, but Alicia stared at them all defiantly.

"What were you doing in Jessica Rabbit's dressing room?" Smarty demanded.

"And why wasn't I invited?" Wheezy muttered.

"That's my line!" Greasy said accusingly, punching his compatriot in the arm mockingly.

"Were you using it in the other room?" Wheezy asked smugly, and Greasy fell silent.

"I refuse to answer any questions until I have a lawyer present," Alicia responded. She began thinking about the two ways they would respond. One: they'd locate her lawyer, but given that she didn't have one, that would prove to be a fruitless task. Two: they'd force her to talk.

Yes, it was two. Smarty's eyes narrowed. "What were you doing in the dressing room of Mrs. Jessica Rabbit?" He repeated.

"I need a lawyer."

Smarty's eyes narrowed. "_Last chance_," he warned.

"Straitjacket…?" Psycho piped up hopefully.

"No!" Smarty snapped.

"Psych, not everyone can wear straitjackets like you," Wheezy reminded his brother, and the mentally disabled weasel brightened.

Alicia only grew more determined from Smarty's rage, and something finally broke inside her. "What are you going to do?" She taunted. "You can't kill us because people will notice it if Eddie goes missing. And there have been several witnesses who can confirm seeing me, Jenna, and Lulu with him. And you can't beat answers out of us, because we'll use this against you."

"We are the law, we are the law," Psycho chanted, his voice muffled from the fabric of his straitjacket.

"Are you going to keep us here? That's not going to make us talk. Sorry to spoil your fun, you eels!" She smirked. She mentally asked herself if she really just used the insult "eels". Really…how old-fashioned.

"We're not eels, we're weasels!" Stupid corrected, accidentally hitting himself over the head with his club. Nobody was amused, least of all Smarty. He gave up on Alicia and turned his attention to Eddie.

"Look, Valiant," he said, resting the soles of his shoes on Eddie's back. "We don't like keeping you here. Just tell us what you know, and you get to go. Simple, isn't it?"

"Go to Hell," Eddie replied.

"Toons don't die," Psycho said in a sing-song voice. "Ha, ha…so there…"

"I know that they do, and I know about your cousins!" Eddie insisted. That struck a nerve, and Alicia saw that all five of the weasels—even the demure Psycho and the innocent Stupid—had steam coming out of their ears. Their eyes were bright, shimmering, and red. They were murderous, and Alicia regretted opening her mouth in front of them. She cursed herself for ignoring Eddie's advice and making fun of the Toon Patrol.

"You had your chance, Valiant," Smarty reminded him harshly, standing up from his chair and straightening his jacket. "You've had plenty of them…you and your little lady friend here." He walked across the room. He had set by the door…a few cans of paint and some paintbrushes. Alicia had bristled when she had been referred to as a "little lady", but tremors of fear ran through her when Smarty leaned over and showed her the paint, a menacing smile on his face.

"Hold her still, boys," he commanded, and Alicia felt her arms being grabbed. She tried moving away as the paintbrush came closer and closer to her face…the paint was cold and wet, and the brush was rough and scratchy. She couldn't see anything…some of the paint got in her eyes. But she could her Eddie shouting at the weasels, insulting them and demanding that she be released. Smarty reminded him that they could have cooperated. But they didn't. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Alicia was grateful that they weren't water-boarding her or torturing her…there were a lot things worse than getting paint in her eyes. But why were they painting her in the first place? What were they doing?

And were her clothes getting stained from the paint?

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_Review, please! :)_


	16. Chapter 16

**Alicia—Yes, yes you are. And you don't even want to know what they're turning you into…but like I said, this is leading up to the huge scenes with you and Eddie!**

**Guest—Jenna, is that you? (Benny: No, it's Judy Garland! Me: Shut up, Benny.) Here is the new chapter! Wahoo!**

**Cartooniac-Oh, thank you! I hope you keep reviewing!**

**greatbigsealover44-Thanks! I think that you'll like Psycho here!**

**Hearts Aglow-Oh, you really think so? Thanks! :)**

**Okay…now you'll all see why the deleted scene is known as "The Pig-Head Sequence". And I'm sticking to what I said earlier: once I get 100 reviews or stay up until midnight, I will upload two chapters in one day!**

Chapter Sixteen

Even the sky was animated in Toon Town, and the sun was a big, smiling character. He had his own alarm clock, and it was ringing when the Toon Patrol's car began driving out of Toon Town. Lulu and Jenna were disappointed that the interrogation was over, but the weasels insisted that "business was business" and that they "couldn't mix business with pleasure". Jenna and Lulu had coyly told the two lead weasels that it had been "a pleasure _talking_ to them" and that "they looked forward to talking with them soon". But now they were leaving one of the coolest places in the world, and something told them that the next time they entered Toon Town, the circumstances would be different.

Most of the ride had been silent, but now the weasels were chanting mockingly, "Soo-eey! Soo-eey, pig!" And they were wolf-whistling, shooting glances full of feigned pity at Alicia and Eddie during the drive out of Toon Town. Smarty, surprisingly, had let Wheezy take the wheel. Psycho and Stupid had called shotgun, but Greasy assured Jenna that they had "let them win". Jenna didn't care. She was just glad that she got to spend more time with him. It wasn't as private as she would have liked…Alicia and Eddie had their heads covered by the old burlap sacks, but Lulu and Smarty were getting all lovey-dovey off in their own corner of the back of the car.

But they were all disappointed when the car stopped. Greasy reluctantly released Jenna from his embrace and grabbed Eddie by the collar. (The weasels were surprisingly strong for Toons…but did anybody care? Lulu and Jenna didn't.) He was the one that tossed Eddie out of Toon Town, into the real world. Alicia sailed through the air, landing next to him on the ground.

"You okay?" Eddie mumbled.

"I've had worse landings," Alicia replied, wincing. Her whole face felt sticky…so did her hands. She had blacked out a little when Smart Ass was painting her. But she had been laughing a little. They had thought that they had won, but they didn't defeat her. She was just worn out. If she had had the energy…they wouldn't have let them win without a fight.

"They were stubborn, weren't they, boss?" Greasy laughed.

"I think it's safe to say they got the message," Smart Ass declared, slapping his paintbrush against the palm of his hand. The paint on it was as pink as his suit. Psycho was carrying a can of a darker paint, one that was dark brown or almost black. "A little _pig-headed_ and a bit of a _bitch_…but they understand. I hope you will, too," he smirked at Lulu and Jenna.

"Puppy love," Psycho giggled, and the others started cackling as they retreated into the safety of Toon Town.

"Do you think we'll ever see them again?" Lulu asked wistfully as the weasels vanished.

"Who cares about them? Help me get this off!" Eddie shouted, struggling with the burlap sack. Jenna helped pull it off of his head, and Lulu aided Alicia with hers. They very nearly screamed at what they saw. But nothing escaped their throats. They just stood there, gaping at their companions.

A large pig head had been painted over Eddie's regular human one. Only his eyes, nose, and mouth were visible through the pig's open, smiling mouth. Alicia's face would have been normal…if a furry muzzle hadn't covered her nose and mouth. And her hands were covered in soft, black fur, and long, floppy puppy ears dangled from the sides of her head. She looked like a more feminine version of Goofy, complete with the whiskers. She and Eddie took one look at each other and screamed.

"You're a pig!"

"You're a dog!" Eddie took off running, his hands clutching the painted-on pig fat. "We've been Toonarooned! Help us!"

"We'll go get Dolores!" Lulu called, and she and Jenna took off, hoping that the damage that had been done could be undone…and that they would, in fact, see their beloved weasels again.

It had been humiliating for Alicia and Eddie to run through the regular world as Toons. The stares that people gave them were not flattering ones. Alicia had no idea what to do, and she was panicking now.

"What happens in Toon Town should stay in Toon Town," she was fuming when they stomped up the stairs to Eddie's apartment-office. Eddie didn't say anything until they were inside. There was a small mirror in there, which he picked up and examined his reflection in. He freaked out even more. "I really AM a pig!"

"What are we going to do? What are we going to do?"

Eddie loosened his tie. "Go in my desk. Find the three small green bottles…you'll know which ones they are. Bring them into the bathroom, and we'll wash the paint off of us." Alicia sighed and nodded. She wondered if the paint would clog her pores and make her break out. She wondered if Eddie would notice if that happened…

"I can't believe they did that to Alicia and Eddie!" Lulu huffed as they ran into town, looking for the Terminal Station Bar.

"You have to admit it's a little funny," Jenna panted, struggling to keep up.

"Okay, only a little," Lulu admitted tentatively. They would have laughed, but then they would have passed out from the lack of air in their lungs. And they had to put aside their sense of humor for the present and find the one person who would be able to help them. That took less time than they expected, because she wasn't in the bar. She was walking out of a newspaper shop, clutching her purse firmly and looking quite prim.

"Dolores!" Jenna cried, dashing up to her. "Eddie and Alicia need your help! Go to his office, quickly!"

"What's wrong?" She asked, giving them a quick once-over. They didn't look their best, but that didn't matter.

"There's no time to explain!" Lulu told her, gasping for air. "Go to the office! You'll see for yourself!"

"Oh, fine," she said, pursing her lips tightly. "But you two will have to watch over Roger for me, okay? He's been quiet for almost fifteen minutes…"

"So?"

"That means he'll probably get into trouble soon."

"I hope she's wrong," Lulu whispered to Jenna as they set off for the bar.

"I hope she's right!" Jenna smiled. "That way we'll get to see the Toon Patrol again!"

"Good point."

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_Review, please! :)_


	17. Chapter 17

**(Sorry, no shout-outs today because I kind of had to hurry to get this uploaded. But you all rock, I love you guys to death, and thanks so much for reviewing! This is my most popular story to date! There will be shout-outs tomorrow, I promise!)**

Chapter Seventeen

All of the people who had been in the Terminal Station Bar the day that the girls met Eddie were there now. They were all quiet, just sipping their drinks and staring into the empty cups. The lights flickered occasionally. Aside from that, there was little movement in the area. Nobody seemed to need or want anything, so they slipped into the speakeasy…and were tackled by something furry and white.

"Roger!" Jenna shrieked, prying him off of her. "What's your problem?"

"I'm bored!" He whined, letting go of her. "I need to get outside. A healthy bunny is a happy bunny."

"You can't," Lulu warned, folding her arms. "Do you want to die?" When he shook his head, she said, "I didn't think so. So you'll stay in here until Eddie solves the case. He'll clear your name eventually."

"How long will that be?" He wondered.

"Not for a very long time," Jenna answered.

"Hopefully sooner than we all think," Lulu added, trying to keep the rabbit optimistic. "Maybe you'll get to go to Marvin's funeral."

"I doubt it," he said glumly. "Look at that." He pointed to a newspaper that was folded neatly on top of a small, circular table. Jenna unfolded it and read the headline on the front page.

"His funeral is in…three days, in Toon Town!"

"What? He gets a public funeral? Wow!"

"All of the Toons will be there," Roger said. "I want to go. P-p-b-b-b-please, may I go?" He made adorable little eyes that were filled with glistening tears. He sniffled a little and batted his eyelashes. Jenna pretended to throw up in her mouth.

"We're not falling for it, Roger," Lulu said sternly. "Cut the crap. You have to stay in the bar."

"I'm sure that you're not falling for any weasels," Roger muttered in an unusually sarcastic voice. Lulu bristled.

"What did you say?" She demanded.

"It was written all over your faces when they were tearing up Eddie's office!" Roger smugly stated. "You LIKE them!"

"We do not!" Lulu protested.

"Lulu and Jenna and some Weasels, sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Roger sang in a loud voice. Jenna tried to muffle him by clamping her hand over his mouth, but Roger fought back. He had a singing voice that wasn't awful, but wasn't something that the girls would have liked listening to. It was getting old very fast. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! That's not all, that's not all…here comes Eddie drinking alcohol!"

"Are you finished?" Lulu asked when Roger finished the song and dance routine and bowed to crowd of fans that wasn't there.

"I think so…unless I'm forgetting a verse," he answered, grabbing onto his large feet and plopping on top of a box. He looked adorable, but the girls were almost ready to strangle him.

"Don't let Eddie hear you singing the part about him and alcohol," Jenna cautioned, glaring at the bunny.

"Which weasels do you like?" He asked seriously, and the girls softened. "I've forgotten their names," he added, scrunching his forehead as he tried to remember. "Was it…Ed? No, no, that's not right…Banzai? No…wait, Shenzi!"

"Stop guessing!" Jenna hissed, annoyed. "If you must know, I like the Spanish one…the one in the green suit. He said he thought I was pretty," she smiled.

"That's Greasy, Jenna. He's probably pulled that act with about a million other Toon girls," Lulu warned. She didn't want to hurt Jenna's feelings, but at the same time, she didn't want to see her get hurt.

"You should talk! I know what you were doing with Smarty!"

"So?" Lulu asked defiantly.

"So what if I told you that I was doing the same thing with Greasy…and it wasn't just kissing," Jenna grinned. Lulu's mouth dropped open. So did Roger's.

"I can't believe you two! Getting wild with the weasels! I think that was the name of one of their cartoons…_Getting Wild with the Weasels_! But I didn't see it. I haven't seen any of their shorts." The girls ignored him, and Lulu decided that it was time to change the subject.

"Let's look through this old junk," she suggested, wiping the dust off of a small box. "Maybe there are some more articles in here about what happened. Who knows, maybe the will is in here?" Jenna and Roger nodded and began helping her in the search. Jenna was doing it quietly, but Roger was constantly knocking over things, giving out yelps and cries of "Oops!" and "Uh-oh!"

"Jeepers, look at this!" He very nearly hollered as he wiped the cobwebs off an old record. Jenna read the label over his shoulder.

"What's this?" She tried to take it from him, but Roger held it out of reach. He finally held it behind his back, staring up at her with the teary "Bambi eyes".

"Please let me play it out there!" He pleaded. "P-b-b-b-please…I'll never ask for another thing again!" A cartoon halo appeared over his head as he tried to appear innocent. Jenna snatched it out of the air and threw it in the corner of the room. "You said that I had to stay in the bar…not the _speakeasy_, the _bar_," he reminded them, an uncharacteristically devilish grin appearing on his face.

"He does have a point," Jenna said, raising her eyebrows thoughtfully. She looked at Lulu, checking to see if she was going to give the okay.

"Fine," she said, rolling her eyes. She was agreeing to let the rabbit out of his cage because she remembered what Jenna had said about causing trouble and luring the Toon Patrol in…now was as good a time as any. And they were bound to show up sooner or later…why not sooner?

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_Review, please! :)_


	18. Chapter 18

**Alicia—Happy Birthday! In honor of the occasion, I'm planning something super mega ultra special in the story…even better than this chapter!**

**Guest—Jenna, is that you AGAIN? LOG IN! LOL about the weasels though…more smutty stuff will be happening later. Here is a slightly non-weasel chapter, but it's still an important one.**

**AL19—Oh, Roger…silly thing, isn't he?**

**Cartooniac—I couldn't help myself…kind of a silly reference, but I couldn't resist! I'm glad you liked it!**

**Hearts Aglow—Hey! This is Who Framed Roger Rabbit, not Cool World! (Translation: Curses! My readers are one step ahead of me…but don't tell Jenna, okay? It will ruin another FABULOUS surprise for her…wait…I've already ruined it. NOOOOOOO!)**

**By the way, I got the whole Lion King reference joke from this video on YouTube. If you're not a fan of Rifftrax...you will be after watching this. I'll put the link at the end of the chapter.**

Chapter Eighteen

"Mr. Valiant, are you in here?" Alicia was in the shower, wiping the last of the paint off of her hands. She froze when she heard the seductive purr of Jessica's voice merging with Eddie's gruff bark in conversation. She dried herself off quickly with a towel, threw on the clothes she had been wearing from before, and stormed out of the bathroom. Jessica was examining her flawless face in a small hand mirror.

"Some help you were last night," Alicia glowered as a way of greeting her. "Thank you _so_ much for trying to stop the Toon Patrol from kidnapping us…why didn't you DO ANYTHING?"

"There are two things that you need to understand about me," Mrs. Rabbit said, applying another coat of lipstick. "One: last night was not my fault, and I'm not happy about what they did with you, either. Do you know why he was at the Ink and Paint Club?"

"Probably wanted to question those penguins," Eddie joked. "Anybody who worked with Walt Disney had to be a suspicious character."

"He was interrogating me. He wanted to know where Roger is. That's why I'm here now. Do you know where he is?"

"Why should we tell you?" Alicia asked.

"You've got the wrong idea about me. I love my husband. I'd do anything for him…anything." There was one thing that Alicia didn't like…people who were seductive and thought that they could manipulate people based on their looks. Jessica was one of them. Alicia could tell because she was giving Eddie a good look at her breasts, which were resting on his chest.

Alicia was jealous of Dolores, too, but was thankful for her sudden appearance. She stood in the doorway, watching Eddie's pants fall around his ankles.

"Dabbling in water colors, Eddie?" Dolores asked, folding her arms. Eddie chuckled nervously. Alicia didn't know whose side to take—his or hers. She decided not to look at either of them and focus her glare on Jessica, who pulled away.

"Goodbye, Eddie," she said, blowing him a kiss. "Think about my offer." She started to leave.

"What was the second thing that you wanted to tell us, Jessica?" Alicia called after her. The Toon turned back and stared her directly in the eye. Her voice bore no traces of malice…just honesty.

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." And with that, she was gone. Dolores didn't waste any time, and Eddie was in the doghouse.

"What was she doing with her arms around you?"

"Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife," he said with a straight face.

"Oh, come on, Eddie, I caught you with your pants down!" She wailed.

"Dolores, wait!" He called out. He had been wearing just his pants and a tie during Jessica's visit, and he threw his clothes on as he ran after her. Alicia followed, not sure if she was going to protect him from Dolores or smack him.

* * *

She finally caught up with them. They were standing in the middle of the street, right outside of the bar and across from Eddie's apartment-office.

"I wasn't doing anything with her!" Eddie was explaining. "C'mon, she just wants to get her hands on the rabbit!"

"That's not the only thing she wants to get her hands on!" Dolores grumbled.

"He wasn't doing anything with Jessica, I promise!" Alicia insisted, deciding to take Eddie's side…but just this once.

"And what were YOU doing in the bathroom?" Dolores demanded, staring Alicia down.

"Taking a shower," she said honestly. "That's not against the law, is it? It's not what you think," she added when Dolores looked like she was going to pop a retina. _But I wish it was_, she thought to herself.

"I'm on the verge of solving this case!" Eddie declared. "So I want for you girls to go out and buy yourselves some new swimsuits. We'll go to the beach. It'll be my treat!"

"No, you're wrong, Eddie!" Dolores insisted, leaning over and adjusting his collar. Alicia turned crimson with jealousy. "I stopped by probate. Cloverleaf is after Toon Town, not Maroon! And if Acme's will doesn't show up by midnight in a week, then Cloverleaf will own it!"

"What's Cloverleaf?" Alicia asked, trying to get back into the conversation. She was pleased when Eddie looked at her for the first time in five minutes.

"Cloverleaf just bought the Red Car…the best public transportation system," he explained. "I don't get it…"

"Wait a minute…do you hear that?" Alicia interrupted, holding up a hand to quiet them. There was loud, cheerful music coming from the bar, accompanied by a singing voice that belonged to a certain furry outlaw…

"Roger!" Eddie grabbed Dolores and Alicia by the hands, and they all ran into the bar…

* * *

…had they stayed for a few minutes longer, they might have seen the Toon Patrol…they had been listening to every word that had been said.

"The rabbit," The leader hissed.

"The girls," The one in green chimed in happily. The one in the straitjacket giggled.

"Get the judge," the leader ordered.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Author's Note: In the original film, Dolores says, "If the will doesn't show up by midnight TONIGHT…" I have edited this for the sake of the story. You'll see why later: so much is going to happen to our three fan girls. It's impossible to fit it all into one day. ;)_

_Happy Late Birthday, Alicia! Here is a chapter with you and Eddie! I know that it isn't as romantic as I initially thought it would be…but I'm going to add some sweeter chemistry between you two later! I won't say anything more, because that'll ruin the surprise! (I have so many planned, don't I? Ha, ha, ha…)_

_Video link: watch?v=WAWMVpaW8h0 _


	19. Chapter 19

**Alicia—Okay, you're going to be separated from Eddie for a little while here…but don't worry, you'll get back together…**

**Jenna—I think that you'll recognize a few of the material here from one of the sneak peeks that I sent you…a loony selection for a bunch of drunkards, don't you think? ;)**

**Hearts Aglow—Oh, don't worry about it! I love it when readers make a prediction and then they find out that they're right! You were right…but I'm going to be playing with the logic of Cool World a little bit here.**

**Cartooniac—I know! Manhole! That was the word! *facepalms* I'd been trying to think of what the word was while I was writing…thanks for reminding me! I love the weasels so much…I remember when Smarty died…I was so sad! *sniffles***

**AL19—Oh, if you think he was silly in the last few chapters…get a load of this!**

Chapter Nineteen

The music was blasting at full volume by the time Alicia, Eddie, and Dolores entered the bar. Roger was standing on top of the counter at the direct center of attention. Everybody—a bunch of drunkards and Jenna and Lulu—seemed to be enjoying the show.

"Nice shirt! Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?" And Roger suddenly pointed at Lulu, as if to say, "Join in! Come on!" Alicia, Eddie, and Dolores looked horrified (and like they were trying very hard not to laugh), but Lulu shrugged, grinned, and started singing:

"Carnival starts with 'C'! That comes right after 'B'! But the Merry-Go-Round has Broken Down! And that's a tragedy!"

Lulu was not a good singer, but Roger didn't seem to mind. He laughed and shouted, "Nice rhymes! Who writes your material?" Jenna cracked up and began clapping along to the beat.

"The Ferris Wheel's okay! It doesn't rock and sway! And the music plays loud and proud! So don't try to walk away!" Lulu didn't like this verse as much as the first one, but Alicia and Jenna were humming along with the words, also getting in the mood. And Roger began to do a goofy little dance, much to the delight of the customers in the bar.

"My buddy's Eddie V! A sourpuss, you'll see! But when I'm done he'll need no gun! Cause a joker he will be! B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I….love to raise some Cain! Believe me it's no strain! It feels so great to smash a plate and look there is no pain!" Before anyone knew what he was doing, he was grabbing plates from a large stack by the counter and was smashing them over his head. "No pain," he kept repeating, and the record kept repeating that one portion of the song. Dolores was freaking out; not only were those plates clean, but they were expensive!

Alicia reached forward and stopped the music. Roger froze with a plate in hand and over his head. Eddie grabbed him by the ears and tossed him into the speakeasy, knocking over the rest of the plates in the process. They fell to the floor and shattered. Alicia groaned and shook her head.

"We'll help you clean up," Lulu offered Dolores, bending over and picking up some of the broken shards of glass.

"Sorry," Alicia said, not looking sorry at all. "But you two are on your own with this one. Who let the rabbit out? Who had me babysit a little…lecher for almost two hours?" She shook her head again and followed Eddie into the speakeasy. Jenna looked a little upset at having to do more boring work, but she grabbed a small broom from the corner of the room and began sweeping it all up.

"I'd rather be in Toon Town," she complained. "I bet they have those magic brooms from Fantasia that do all of the boring work. What I wouldn't give to be a Toon!"

"Why'd you let him out?" Dolores demanded furiously. "I told you not to—"

"—let him out of the bar. We didn't let him out of the bar. We let him out of the speakeasy—"

"You KNOW what I meant!" She hissed, going to wipe the last shards of glass off of the countertop. "You two are on very thin ice…and the only way that can get you out of this one is a—"

"Red flag," Lulu whispered as Judge Doom entered the bar.

"Ex-nay, ex-nay," Jenna muttered, and she saw Dolores pressing a small button that was hidden by the register…an alarm system? She removed her fingers from the button and nervously adjusted her hat.

"I'm looking for a murderer," he announced, stepping further into the Terminal Station Bar. The customers avoided looking at him.

Lulu and Jenna saw the Toon Patrol cackling by the entrance, and they couldn't help a small smile. They certainly were resourceful, weren't they? And they didn't waste any time looking for them…they did care!

But did they care about finding Roger Rabbit more? The girls decided that they didn't want to find out…

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_Review, please! :)_


	20. Chapter 20

**Cartooniac—Wow, you're psychic! How old is he, do you know? I know, it would be so awesome to be a Toon...*begins daydreaming*.**

**Jenna—Are you okay? You seemed pretty upset when you sent me that email this morning…I hope everything is okay at home…meet me on Skype and we'll talk more.**

**By the way, did anyone check out the video that I posted the link to in a previous chapter? It's really funny…**

Chapter Twenty

"A rabbit," the Judge announced, and several of the customers left without paying for their drinks. Nobody stopped them. "Say…" he forced a midget down on his knees. "THIS tall…"

"Look, there's no rabbit here!" Alicia replied.

"Quit scaring away my customers!" Dolores ordered.

"I didn't come here to interrogate," Doom said. "I came…to reward." There was a small chalkboard behind the counter that listed the Friday special: _French Onion Dip_. Doom erased _French Onion_ and took the chalk in his hand. With painful deliberation, he scratched the chalk across the board, causing painful screams with every movement. Jenna grit her teeth, Lulu covered her ears, and Alicia tried to think of the most annoying thing in the world to block out the audible torture. At last, the judge was finished. The special now read _Rabbit Dip_…and a generous amount of money was listed below.

One of the guys present—the same loser that Eddie had lost his temper with—whistled in admiration. "Hey, I've seen a rabbit."

"Where…?" Doom asked eagerly.

"He's right here in the bar," the man said smugly. The three girls were panicking a little, and they all were so relieved when the man put his arm around an invisible person. "Say hello…Harvey." Lulu burst out laughing with everybody else, but Jenna shook her head.

"I don't get it," she said. "Who's Harvey?"

"_Harvey _was this movie-slash-play about this guy who had an invisible friend," Lulu explained. "Harvey was a rabbit, too."

"Oh, I get it," Jenna giggled. Everyone laughed for a few more minutes…and then the Judge smiled. When he was cheerful, he was surprisingly creepy.

"If they're here, then Valiant and the rabbit aren't too far away," Wheezy observed, gesturing at Alicia, Jenna, and Lulu. Alicia rolled her eyes.

"We got separated from Eddie when we left Toon Town," Lulu said. This was twenty-five percent honest and seventy-five percent bull crap. Lulu and Jenna had parted ways with Alicia and Eddie when they left Toon Town, and they hadn't seen him until he entered the bar. Alicia, on the other hand, had spent the majority of the day with Eddie…so the twenty-five percent didn't apply to her…

The Judge noticed the record player, and he examined what music had been playing.

"Merry-Go-Round Broke Down," he read. "Quite a loony selection for a bunch of drunkards…"

"We try to keep things kid-friendly when they're here," Dolores lied, referring to the three girls.

"They're a little too old to be listening to this music and watching Toons, don't you think?" The Judge said, and Jenna resisted the urge to scream at him. The Judge had not acknowledged the existence of her or her two friends directly, and it was driving her nuts.

Instead, she forced a smile onto her face. "We don't like Toons," she told him. "We love them." She shot a furtive glance at Greasy, who grinned back at her. Lulu smiled shyly at Smarty, but he ignored her—ignored her!—and kept his attention on the oh-so-heroic Judge Doom.

Doom ignored her and examined the record, flipping it over in his hands, running his fingers over it…even smelling it. He gave it a few tentative sniffs, gave a start, and shouted, "He's here!" He let the record sour through the air like a Frisbee, and it got stuck in Stupid's mouth. The Weasels began to laugh—even Smarty joined in—before the Judge straightened them out by kicking him in his most sensitive part of the body.

"Do you know what happens when you can't stop laughing? You'll end up DEAD, just like your idiot hyena cousins!" The Judge barked.

"Say, Boss, you want us to diss-resemble the place?" Smart Ass asked, collecting himself.

"No, Sergeant," Doom smiled. "Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me." He took his cane and tapped it lightly on the counter. Lulu recognized the beat. Tap…tap-tap-tap…tap.

Shave and a Haircut…

"No Toon can resist the old Shave and a Haircut routine!" The Judge began rapping on the walls…dangerously close to where the speakeasy was. Alicia prayed earnestly for Roger to resist…and after a few minutes, it seemed that he was. There were no indications of two people hidden behind the walls, no sounds that suggested a hare was listening…

And then the Judge sang. "Shave…and a Haircut—"

BOOM! There was a hole in the wall, and Roger was out in the open. "TWO BITS," he bellowed, ready for a standing ovation.

All he got was a glove around his throat.

"What should we do with the wallflower?" Smarty asked. He had a switchblade in his hand, and he was using it to keep Eddie from leaving…Eddie wasn't putting up a fight. He had his hands up in surrender.

"Oh, we'll deal with him later," the Judge said. "Him and these four…" he pointed to Dolores and the three girls.

"What did we do?" Dolores demanded.

"Obstructing justice and withholding information are both crimes, and all four of you are guilty as charged," the Judge decreed.

"Unfair," Jenna whispered. "We didn't even get a proper trial."

"Well, look on the bright side," Alicia offered weakly. "He can't kill us with Dip."

"Bring me some Dip," Doom ordered, and Psycho scurried away to find some.

"Um…but he can kill Roger with it…" Alicia said nervously, letting go of what little optimism she had left.

"We're in trouble, aren't we?"

"It's kind of obvious. We're doomed," Lulu lamented.

"Maybe that's why they call him Judge Doom," Jenna cracked a smile, but it faded when the barrel was brought in.

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_Review, please! :)_


	21. Chapter 21

**Jenna—I can't stop grinning! I have my Internet back! Let's celebrate with the dance of joy! Are you feeling okay, by the way?**

**Hearts Aglow—She was also the Muse of Homer and the mother of Orpheus, one of many tragic Greek heroes. I'd like to consider her my Muse, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter.**

**greatbigsealover44—I didn't get it at first, either. My parents explained it to me, and then they showed me the movie. It was a beautiful film, but a very sad one.**

**Cartooniac—Oh, wow, he's getting old! It's too bad that he's not going to be in the sequel. It's going to suck without him.**

**Attention, everyone! Because I stayed up until midnight last night, I will be uploading two chapters today! Thanks, Alicia, for helping me stay awake! You rock! And I will also upload two chapters in one day once I reach a hundred reviews!**

Chapter Twenty-One

The scent of bad alcohol and depression was quickly blocked out by the foul odor of the Dip: rotten eggs, dead fish, and sweaty socks. Jenna gagged, glaring at what was in the metal barrel that Psycho had staggered in with. The crazy weasel stood off to the side, admiring his handiwork and giggling with anticipation.

"Gross! What IS that?" Alicia demanded, pinching her nose.

"It's the only thing that can kill a Toon," Lulu answered, her voice strained and hoarse. "It's awful…but I think that you used it to get that paint off of your face…"

"We did," Eddie said, and Alicia stared at the vomit-colored substance. It was something that could do more harm than good…but good had come from it. Oh, the cruel irony.

"Any last words?" Doom asked mockingly.

"Well, yeah, I…" The hare was choked into silence, and he never got to finish his sentence. The people in the bar removed their hats, watching solemnly as the A-list celebrity took his first and last dip in…well, the Dip. Jenna and Lulu felt sick, and they almost couldn't watch. Eddie, however, seemed to be very calm. He walked over to Dolores and nudged her in the elbow.

"Dolores, pour me a drink and make it a double," Eddie whispered.

"Fine time for a drink, Eddie," she chastised. "Would you like some pretzels to go with it?"

"Just pour the drink, Dolores!" Something in his tone made her listen…that and the subtle nods of approval that Jenna and Lulu gave her. She decided to trust them, even if she had mixed feelings about Eddie. "Hey, Judge!" Eddie called, and Doom stopped trying to force Roger into the barrel. (Roger had been resisting with his ears. It looked comical, but it was very scary.) "Can't a dying rabbit get a last request?"

"Why not? I don't mind delaying the execution," Doom shrugged, leaning back on the counter.

"Nose plugs would be nice!" Roger said, looking at the Dip.

"I think you want a drink," Alicia hinted, swirling the amber liquid around the glass that Eddie had handed her.

"Happy trails!" Eddie smirked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"No thank you!" Roger insisted. "I may be a Toon, but I can take it like a man!"

"I don't want to see you take it like a man. I want to see you drink the drink," Eddie said.

"But I'm trying to cut back!" Roger whined.

"He doesn't want the drink," Doom observed.

"He does!" Eddie shouted. "Drink the drink!"

"I don't want to!" Roger yelled at the top of his lungs.

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You don't!" Alicia corrected, cutting Eddie off.

"I do!"

"You don't!"

"I do! And when I say 'do', I mean 'do': capital D-O-O do!" Roger grabbed the drink and swallowed it all in one gulp. Then the spasms began, and as he started to quiver, the Judge began to vibrate with him. He went through the same process that he went through while he was in Maroon's office, ending with that awful tea-kettle scream that broke glass and wreaked havoc on everything else. Eddie took advantage of this by giving most of the Toon Patrol the beatings of their lives. Smarty, however, didn't go down without a fight…Lulu almost saw him stab Eddie with a switchblade.

Roger finished his panic attack and missed landing in the Dip by only a few inches. Eddie yanked him out of harm's way and knocked the barrel over. Dip spilled all over the floor, causing several weasels to jump back in panic. Doom stared at Valiant, and Alicia saw pure murder in his expression. It gave her more motivation to run towards the exit.

"Come on, guys, let's get out of here!" Roger yelled, dashing towards the exit and pushing two potential customers out of his way.

"Sorry!" Alicia shouted at them as she ran after him with Eddie, Jenna, and Lulu close behind her.

"Thanks for the drink, Dolores!" Eddie shouted as he left.

"Anytime," she groaned, even though he couldn't hear her.

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_Review, please! :)_


	22. Chapter 22

**Alicia—Yep, we're on the run! Here's one of my favorite scenes from the movie!**

**Jenna—Here are some more weasels. I won't spoil what happens to them in the end, but I will say that I have been debating about that a lot…let's just say that if I do one thing, then it'll be sad. If I do another thing, it'll be bittersweet and corny. I think I've made my choice…**

Chapter Twenty-Two

"That was quick thinking, Eddie," Roger complimented once they were out in the open. Even then, he wasn't trying to hide from the public.

"Roger!" He snatched the bunny by the ears and kept a firm grip on them.

"What are we going to do now?" Alicia cried, knowing that if they didn't make up their mind soon, they'd be thrown into Toon Prison…or worse.

"Let's use this!" Eddie said, throwing Roger into the Toon Patrol's car.

"Did they leave the keys?" Lulu asked, knowing that they probably didn't. The people who kept everyone in line were smart and careful. They wouldn't just leave their keys in their car.

"No!"

"Hey, you weasels, let me out of here!" Even though the three girls were still standing outside, they could hear the calls of whoever was in the back of the Toon Patrol's car…in the same place where they had been when they were kidnapped the previous night. This voice was sarcastic and even gruffer than Eddie's. Roger recognized it.

"Benny, is that you?"

"No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt! Get me out of here!"

"We've got ourselves a ride, Eddie! Open the door!" The girls stepped away from the car, and a bright yellow cab shot out. He seemed pleased at having his freedom. The girls understood why.

"Ah, that's better! I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk!"

"Come on, everybody, get in!" Roger giggled, bouncing on the seats. The girls shrugged and all piled into the back seat. Eddie slid into the driver's seat next to Roger.

"It was only a couple of miles," Benny the Cab shrugged.

"Hey, I want to drive!" Jenna said, trying to climb into the front seat. Eddie pushed her back, and she pouted.

"You don't have your license yet," Alicia reminded her. "Eddie will drive."

"But I want to drive!" Roger protested.

"No, I'll drive! I'm the cab! Out of my way, pencil neck!" Benny sped away from the bar…this would be the last time that the girls would go there for a long, long time. "How about this weather...it never rains!"

But as they drove on, Lulu and Jenna did catch a glimpse of the Toon Patrol storming out of the place. "They sprung the cab!" Smarty shouted.

"Let's go!" Wheezy pointed down the road at the car.

"And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers…are they bums or what?" Benny's voice brought them back to the present…but they still kept one eye on the Toon Patrol's car. Benny and their car were now involved in a car chase. Smarty, who was driving, didn't seem to care. Stupid and Psycho, who were in the passenger seats next to him, didn't seem to mind, either.

BANG! A bullet grazed by Lulu's face, slicing into her cheek and making the world sound fuzzy in her right ear. But with her left ear, she could faintly hear Smarty bragging, "I'm going to blow his head off!" She lifted a hand to her cheek. She felt blood: warm, sticky, runny, and thick.

Nobody seemed to notice, and Lulu decided that it wasn't too bad…she had had worse injuries in the past. And besides, they could fix her cheek good and proper. Benny was complaining about the traffic now. Two cars were in each lane, blocking his path. "Will you look at these two?" He asked in disgust. "Excuse me ladies!" He swerved past them. "Now that's what I call a couple of road hogs!"

"From now on, let's take the bus!" Jenna yelled as they barely missed hitting a bus. The good news was that they had lost the Toon Patrol…but now two police motorcycles were following them, and Roger had fallen out of the car.

"They're right behind us!" Roger panted, scurrying to catch up with Benny.

"Not for long, Roger," the cab grinned, slipping into an alley.

"But now they're right in front of us!" Jenna pointed out as they backed away from the two motorcycles. "Turn us around!"

"They're right on our tail!" Roger cowered.

"Of course they're right on our tail! I'm not blind!" Eddie yelled…and even though they had turned away from the motorcycles, the Toon Patrol began approaching them from the front. They were truly trapped.

"PULL THE LEVER!" Benny shouted.

"Which is it one? Which one? Which one?" There were so many buttons and switches and knobs that it was impossible to tell them apart. Thankfully a sign popped up, labeled THIS LEVER, STUPID, and it was helpful in locating the proper one.

"I'm gonna ram them!" Smarty's cries were heard over the commotion. And for a minute, it looked like he was going to. Eddie pulled the correct lever at the last second, which lifted Benny—and his passengers—off of the ground and out of their predicament.

"I'm getting too old for this!" Benny complained as he left the alley, balancing on his tires like he was trying to walk on stilts. They did hear the crashes of car and the skids of motorcycles…but not the cries of two of the car's occupants.

"Hey, Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?" Benny asked.

"Gee, I don't know—"

"—a BRIDGE," Alicia finished, freaking out because they were getting ready to crash into one. It was Eddie to the rescue again, putting Benny in his proper state and sending them landing on the bridge and driving normally.

"Hooray, we did it!" Alicia cheered.

"Jumping Jeepers, what happened to Jenna and Lulu?" Roger asked, sitting up and scratching his head with one of his ears. Alicia froze. She had been so caught up in the excitement that she hadn't realized that her two friends had fallen out of the car.

"Maybe you should pull over," she suggested weakly.

"No, there's no time! We can go back for them later," Eddie promised. "But right now, we need to worry about ourselves." Alicia bit her lip and nodded.

"Anyway, where can I take you all?" Benny asked.

"Somewhere we can hide," Roger pleaded.

"I've got just the place," Benny beamed. "And incidentally, if you should ever need a ride, just stick out your thumb!"

"What about Lulu and Jenna?" Alicia wondered as they barely missed colliding with another car.

"They'll be fine," Eddie assured her, but even he had no proof of that. Where had they fallen out?

* * *

Jenna woke up before Lulu did, and the first thing that she noticed was that the two policemen that had been following them were mostly okay. If she tilted her head to the left, she could see that they were limping away slowly. If she turned her head to the right, she could see that Lulu's cheek was bleeding pretty badly. And if she looked up towards the sky…she could see all five members of the Toon Patrol standing over them. She smiled faintly. Well, this wasn't the worst possible situation.

"Should we go get a doctor? Or go get the judge?"

Nope, never mind. Things couldn't get any worse.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	23. Chapter 23

**Jenna—You're doing better, I'm guessing. My parents are being pains in the butt right now, but hey, I'm not complaining. I don't think that they know that I have my Internet back, so every time they act bitchy, I'm like, "Ha. Ha hah! I have my Internet!" Anyway, you'll see what I do…and this is a weasel chapter, hooray!**

**Cartooniac—LOL, I know, right? "Hey, what's the most exciting thing that ever happened to you?" "Well, I once survived a car chase in a Toon car with only a scratched cheek caused by a bullet…"**

**Hearts Aglow—Well, they're okay now…or are they? ;)**

**Alicia—I guess you'll have to find out until the next chapter…here's the next chapter! LOL!**

Chapter Twenty-Three

You're supposed to hear the beeps and buzzes of machines when you wake up after surgery. Lulu knew about this from previous experience. But instead, she heard voices. "What's wrong with her ear?"

"There's nothing wrong with her ear! It looks fine!"

"I didn't do it! I only fired one bullet!"

"She looks like an elf!"

"I'm a pixie, Stupid," Lulu murmured, smiling. "And I can hear fine with it." She opened her eyes and sat up in order to get a good look around the room she was in. It was much nicer than the one she had been in before, but a little too organized. It reminded her of a hospital. But at least she was in a good, comfortable bed…she hadn't slept in one for two whole days…three, if she included sleeping in a sleeping bag during the slumber party. She stared at the five weasels. "What is this place?"

"My place," Smarty said. "Sorry for shooting you," he added as an afterthought.

"I've had worse," she said grimly.

"Like what?"

"I broke my nose in the third grade," she offered. "And I got my wisdom teeth removed. I'm guessing that these things aren't problems for Toons." She scowled. "I told myself that I wouldn't speak to you again after that little incident in the bar."

"Look, I already said that I didn't mean to hurt you," he reminded.

"And I think that you can HEAR very well, but you don't LISTEN well. I said that I was angry about what happened IN the bar, not AFTER."

"Why? What did I do in the bar?" He demanded.

"You ignored me!"

"There's a time to shirk and a time to work," Smarty coined, smiling.

"You haven't gotten that far with me, Wise Guy," Lulu retorted. The rest of the Toon Patrol let out a collective "oh" of surprise and awe…she had won the game of the words. The only one who didn't seem to understand the whole exchange was Stupid, who shook his head and said, "I don't get it."

"Get out," Smarty said to them flatly. They looked at him, confused.

"Uh, boss—"

"Don't you have a certain detective to be looking for?" He snapped. They got the hint, and Greasy took control.

"You three get in the car and drive by the bar, Valiant's office, and the studios again." They nodded, and all of them left…except for Smarty and Lulu.

"If you didn't hurt your ear, why does it look like that?" He demanded.

She smiled. "It's always been like that. It's a hereditary thing, I think. My granddad has it, too." It was true: they both had one ear that was pointer than the other one.

"Whatever," he mumbled. Lulu sighed.

"Anyway, thanks," she said after a few moments.

"For what?"

"That was a really good kiss last night," she said coyly. He flushed.

"I'm guessing that it was not your first?"

"No, not my first…" She smiled. "But I don't think that it was my last." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He opened his mouth to say something—

—and then somebody sneezed outside of the door. Smarty turned purple with rage, and ran to the door. He flung it open and stared at his snoopy brothers. "GET OUT, YOU GUYS!"

"Nice going, Wheezy," Greasy scolded before they were chased off. He returned, and Lulu giggled…before remembering something important, and panicking.

"Where's Jenna?" She asked, worried. She knew that Alicia and Eddie were still with Benny and Roger—she remembered that they hadn't fallen out of the car. But where was Jenna?

"She's in the other room," he replied, and Lulu relaxed.

"With Greasy, I'm guessing," she joked.

"Yeah," he grinned nervously.

"They're pretty close, aren't they?"

"Yeah…"

"And you're a man of few words, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah…"

"Maybe if you read more, you'd have a larger vocabulary," she offered.

"Y—hey," He blurted out, suddenly coming back to Earth. "I'm perfectly literature-ate."

"Literate," she corrected. "Boy, the way you talk is worse than Elmer Fudd's wisp and Daffy Duck's lithp." She laughed. "I bet the kids thought that that was a scream, huh?"

"Shut up," he muttered. "Just shut up."

"Is that surrender?" She teased.

"Nope," he replied. She decided to change the subject.

"So, how long are we going to be in here?" She asked, hugging her knees to her chest. Smarty cleared his throat.

"Until Valiant gets the note," he said. Lulu frowned.

"What? What note?"

"The, uh…the hostage exchange note."

"WHAT?"

"It's kind of a long story," he began, but Lulu jumped out of bed and grabbed the weasel by the shoulders. She began shaking him back and forth.

"Buddy, if you don't start telling me it RIGHT NOW, you will most definitely NOT get any more loving from me today, tonight, or any other day or night!"

"His name's Smart Ass," the muffled voice of one of the weasels—Stupid, of course—called out from the other side of the closed door.

"Quit shoving, you hogs!" Greasy growled.

"We're weasels, not hogs!"

"Shut up, Stupid!" Wheezy snarled.

"GET OUT!" Smarty screamed at the door, and Lulu was tempted to crawl back under the sheets of the bed and start the whole day over again. Why, of all things, did these things happen to her? Maybe she wasn't jealous of Alicia and Jenna after all…if they had gone through these sorts of things before in the past, then she was SORRY for them.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	24. Chapter 24

**Jenna—I know that things are tough, but don't worry, we'll get through them together. Yes, I still have Internet. Hallelujah! *does a magic happy dance of joy, then falls down on face* Ouch…anyway, I think that this chapter should be renamed: "Greasy asks you out". ;) He's not ignoring you here!**

**Alicia—I had a lot of fun writing it, LOL!**

**Cartooniac—Aw, thanks! That's one of the nicest things that someone has said about my writing! "The master of words…" I should hang that on my wall somewhere, LOL!**

**Hearts Aglow—Well…there isn't as much drama here, but there is more comedy. Enjoy!**

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jenna had never gotten a migraine this bad before in the past. Her head felt like one huge alarm clock. She groaned and turned onto her side, feeling something soft and fuzzy rubbing against her cheek.

"_Buenos días, senorita_," Greasy's voice rang out, and she realized that he was stroking her cheek with his paw. She opened her eyes to look at him, but had to squint against the blaring light that was flooding in through one of the windows.

"God," she whined, wincing. "Is it always so bright here?"

"Pretty much," he shrugged.

"I suppose that Toons don't have to deal with bright lights or loud noises because it doesn't bother them," she moaned, turning over in the bed and putting the pillow over her head. Greasy laughed.

"If you think that's bad, you should see Anime Town," he grinned as he got up and closed the blinds. Jenna could never get enough of that grin, but the charming quality of it didn't affect her this time. Rather, it was his words.

"Anime Town…?" She rolled back over and sat up, facing him.

"So wild there," he grinned. "I should take you there sometime. You'd have a blast." His eyes lit up—and a light bulb appeared over his head. He quickly threw that away, but the idea remained in his head. "Hey, yeah, I should!" He walked over to the door, swung it wide open, and yelled out into the hallway, "HEY, BOSS!"

"What is it?" Smarty groaned from down the hall.

"Guess what? We're going to Anime Town tonight!"

"Anime Town, why are we going there?" The gruff voice of Wheezy asked as he came into the room, puffing away on his vile cigarettes.

"Not WE as in all of us," Greasy glared. "We as in: me, Smarty, and the senoritas, got it?"

"What? You'll leave me with Stupid and Psycho!" Wheezy complained in disbelief. Jenna was starting to realize that she was in the bachelor pad of some of the most feared Toons of all time, and this was funnier than some of the older Disney movies.

"Too bad, I promised her I'd take her!" Greasy gloated.

"You didn't promise anything!" Wheezy argued, pushing his brother. "I heard you!"

"You're such a snoop!" Greasy shot back, shoving his co-worker.

"It takes one to know one!" And then the fighting got more violent…as violent as Toons can get, anyway. Psycho heard the noise, and Jenna heard him squealing, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, ha hah!" He ran into the room, bounced on the bed, which caused Jenna to shoot him a weird look. He then sat down next to her, pulled a bowl of popcorn out of the air (typical Toon trick), and began shoveling the buttery snacks into his mouth by the handful. He did offer some to Jenna, but she refused when she saw that the sleeves of his straitjacket were soggy with spit—he had stuffed his fist literally into his mouth.

"Break it up, will you?" Smarty was in the room, holding the two apart from each other. "What's in Anime Town that's so important?"

"Double dates," Greasy hinted. "Me and her," he pointed at Jenna, who glowed with delight. "And you and her," he added, pointing towards Lulu, who was standing in the doorway. Smarty nearly popped his retinas when he saw her.

"You're supposed to be resting!"

"Get used to disappointment," Jenna taunted, sticking her tongue out at him playfully. He rolled his eyes, but Greasy did stiffen.

"You did hurt your head pretty bad when you fell," he said, concerned. "You are feeling okay?"

"Aside from a killer headache, fine," Jenna said, falling back onto the covers of her bed. Lulu walked over and joined her on the bed, playfully shoving Psycho out of the way. The Toon giggled, not minding the abuse but pleased at having some attention. Greasy also joined them at the bed and began to comb out some of the tangles from Jenna's hair. No guy had ever done that to her before, and she smiled bashfully up at him. Smarty kept talking, oblivious to all of the chemistry.

"Fine, I don't mind going to Anime Town. But…a double date with hostages—?"

"What part of _chicas bonitas_ do you not understand?"

"The part in Spanish," Smart Ass grumbled, and Lulu laughed. "Anyway," he hastily said. "What's wrong with the four of us going to Anime Town while you three don't?"

"Toon Patrol members don't want to be on the Weasel Watch," Psycho sang from the bed, embracing himself with the sleeves of his straitjacket. Lulu cooed at his level of insane adorableness. Smarty face-palmed and sighed.

"Get over it, Wheezy."

"I hate this job sometimes!" He fumed, dashing out of the room. A door slammed in the distance.

"He'll be over it in an hour," Smarty said dismissively.

"Is there anything that we need to know or do before we go into Anime Town?" Jenna asked, now excited at having a _double date_…a date with Greasy would seem romantic even

"You'll need these for protection," Greasy told her, placing a pair of black sunglasses on the table next to the bed. She picked them up and slipped them on.

"Is it cool to bump into things?" She asked. She couldn't see anything out of them!

"Trust me, you'll need them when we get to Anime Town," Smarty said, tossing Lulu a pair of identical shades. They started to leave the girls alone, but lingered in the doorway for only a few seconds more.

"Oh, wait…there's, uh, one thing that you need to do for us…"

"Anything, boys," Jenna said flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes.

That was before she was knocked out from behind.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	25. Chapter 25

**Happy Halloween, everyone! Be safe, be responsible, and eat an insane amount of candy because you all deserve it.**

**greatbigsealover44—Wait until you see the next chapter. It's a scream!**

**Jenna—Alicia told me the good news. I'm so happy that everything worked out okay in the end, like I told you it would. And hey, here you go: you get a cameo at the end of this chapter! I'm glad that things are okay with you, but I'm in super hot water with my mom right now.**

**Alicia—Here's a nice big dose of you and Eddie! Consider it a Halloween treat.**

**Cartooniac—LOL! I'll explain how I got the idea in a later chapter. I'm probably going to do a behind-the-scenes chapter later.**

**Hearts Aglow—Oh, Happy Halloween to you, too! Have fun!**

Chapter Twenty-Five

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" The children in the audience laughed and applauded as the hilarity known as Goofy played out on the big screen. Roger giggled harder than the rest of them, spilling his popcorn all over the vacant seat in front of him.

"Boy, did you see that?" He gushed, turning around to stare at Alicia and Eddie. They were not smiling, and Alicia kept glancing at all of the exits to the theater, keeping an eye out for any cops or Toons. "Nobody does it like Goofy! What timing! What finesse! What a genius!" After a rather loud bit of laughter, Eddie lost it. He reached across two rows of seats, grabbed Roger by the ears, and pulled him into the seat between him and Alicia.

"You're supposed to be hiding! What's WRONG with you?" He finished this small lecture by smacking the bunny on the back of the head.

"Ouch!" Roger grimaced, rubbing his head. "What's wrong with YOU? You're the only person in this theater that isn't laughing!" He grew even more perplexed after Eddie refused to laugh at one of his silliest faces. "What could have possibly happened to you that turned you into such a sourpuss?"

"You want to know?" Roger nodded. "Then I'll tell you. A Toon killed my brother."

"A Toon...! No!"

"Yeah, that's right, a Toon." Eddie shifted, and he began to tell the story of how he and his brother were investigating the robbery of the First National Bank of Toon Town. The guy who did it got the drop on them…literally. Teddy Valiant was crushed with a piano. Eddie lived with only a broken arm and the memory of the guy who did it: a Toon with burning red eyes and high, squeaky voice.

Roger was sobbing at the end of this tale, and Alicia bit her lip and tried to hold back her own sobs. "No wonder you hate me," Roger lamented. "If a Toon killed my brother, I'd hate me, too!"

"C'mon, don't cry. I don't hate you."

"You do hate me! I know because you yank my ears all the time!"

"I'm sorry I yanked you ears."

Roger brightened. "All the times you yanked my ears?" He fluttered his eyelashes innocently.

"All the times I yanked your ears," Eddie repeated.

"Apology accepted!" Roger beamed, shaking hands with him. Alicia wiped the last of her tears away and smiled as Roger jumped into his previous seat in the hopes of catching another cartoon. It was just the start of a news reel.

"I HATE the news!" Roger sulked, and Dolores tiptoed into the theater behind them, looking wary but glad to see them. She sat in the seat on Eddie's right.

"So, you got all my stuff?" He asked quietly. Alicia slid over into Roger's vacant seat, suddenly wanting to be closer to Eddie.

"Yeah, it's all packed up in the car. I would have gotten here sooner, but I had to shake the weasels." She bit her lip. "I tried to help them, Eddie. I really tried, but they wouldn't let me near the car."

"What are you talking about?"

"They've got the girls."

"WHAT?" Alicia cried.

"Shush!" Several people chorused in the theater, and she quieted, but didn't calm down.

"What do you mean? They have Jenna and Lulu?"

"Yes," she said, and Alicia sighed a little in relief. At least she knew where her friends were. "They told me to give this to you," she added, handing Eddie a small envelope. He tore it open and pulled out a letter, which he began to read out loud.

"'Mr. Valiant, we have the girls. Meet us at the outskirts of Toon Town in precisely two days at midnight. Bring only the rabbit. We will release the girls in exchange for the rabbit. If you are seen in Toon Town, this offer will be canceled. If you bring anyone else with you, this offer will be canceled. You cannot trace us. You cannot contact us. Sincerely, the Toon Patrol...'" He rolled his eyes. "Can you believe this? What do they think they're going to do?" He waved the envelope around in frustration, and Alicia grabbed it from him.

"There's something else in here…" She reached in and pulled out two things. The first was a business card that had all of the contact information for the weasels. The second was—

"—a photo of Jenna and Lulu tied to a chair!"

"SHUSH!" The audience insisted, but Alicia couldn't calm down, not while her friends were in harm's way. And she had to act NOW. She ran out of the theater with the card, her destination in mind. And she didn't need Benny the Cab to help her get there, either.

* * *

"Hello? Hello? Oh, pick up already!" Alicia had never used a phone booth before, and they were worse than cell phones with bad reception. She was growing sick and tired of hearing the ringing sound in the background. Finally, someone picked up.

"Toon Patrol Headquarters, how may I help you?" It was Wheezy, sounding professional and proper.

"Where are my friends?" Alicia demanded, and she heard the weasel choking in surprise. "Let me talk to them now!"

"Hold the phone—"

"I am, I am," she said impatiently.

"How did you get this number?"

"Your contact information was in the envelope that you gave Dolores," she reminded him, and there was a shocked pause on the other end. "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?"

"Just a second," he said, and Alicia heard his voice growing faint—he was walking away from the phone—but she heard him screaming. "Everyone, get in here!" There was another pause. "Alright, who put the contact card in the envelope?"

"Me!" Stupid declared loudly and proudly. There was a thud, and he didn't say another word for the rest of the phone call.

"Idiot, the other girl is on the phone, and she wants to talk to the other two!"

"Oh, give me that," Smarty said, and then Alicia found herself talking to him. "Listen up. Put Valiant on the phone now if you want to talk business."

"I—I can't. He's not—oh, never mind," she stammered, noticing that Eddie was knocking on the door to the phone booth. She let him in. "Here he is," she said into the phone before handing it over to the detective.

"Listen up, you little rats! If you hurt those girls…what did you say? Oh, good luck with that! What…you wouldn't—"

"Give me the phone, GIVE ME THE PHONE!" Alicia yelled, taking it back from Eddie. He tried to get back into the conversation, but he walked out of the booth after she gave him a look that clearly told him to shut up.

"Hey, hey, hey boss, give ME the phone," she heard Greasy saying, and Psycho's giggle was heard faintly before he began talking. "_Hola, Señor Valiente_!" The other weasels started to giggle, and Alicia rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to scream.

But she almost dropped the phone after she heard Jenna in the background saying, "How do you like my new dress? Hey, who's on the phone?"

"Nobody, baby," Greasy said smoothly, and the line went dead.

"He hung up on me!" Alicia said, outraged, storming out of the booth. Dolores and Roger ran out of the theater and towards the other two, looking just as concerned.

"Eddie, the note said that we couldn't go into Toon Town until the hostage exchange, right?"

"Yeah…"

"That…could be a problem," she said grimly. "Marvin Acme's funeral is tomorrow afternoon. They said so on the news. What are we going to do?"

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	26. Chapter 26

**Alicia—LOL, I loved that part, too!**

**Cartooniac—Yep! And I might include alternate endings because right now I have THREE possible outcomes for how the story might end.**

**Hearts Aglow—Yep, hostage situations are bad, but here, they're all better now. LOL!**

**Jenna—Just as I promised…everyone is in this chapter! Hooray! Nope, we're not tied up at the moment. Want to know why?**

Chapter Twenty-Six

"I want to go the funeral!" Roger announced. "Acme was my boss, irregardless of what he may have done with my wife. And I still think that I misunderestimated them both!"

"You'll be arrested in Toon Town before you can say that sentence correctly," Dolores warned him. "None of us can go."

"There might be something buried with the body," Alicia reminded them. "So one of us should try to go and get close to the body."

"I'll go!" Eddie, Dolores, Alicia, and Roger all answered at once. Alicia moaned…then suddenly remembered what had happened to her the LAST time she had gone into Toon Town. "Never mind, I don't have to go," she corrected herself quickly.

"Thank you," Eddie said gratefully. "We need someone to stay behind and watch out for Roger, and I think that you two might be risky to bring along."

"Oh, that reminds me…" Dolores cut in, folding her arms. "Where are you three planning on staying tonight?"

"Can't we go to your place?" Alicia asked hopefully. She wasn't happy about being close to Dolores, but hey, it was better than nothing.

"Too small," she admitted. "We'd be cramped."

"Not to mention that the cops are probably all over the neighborhood now," Eddie added. Roger bit his lip with a large tooth and sighed sheepishly. He was starting to feel a teensy-weensy bit guilty about breaking into song in the bar.

"Where are we going to stay?" Alicia repeated the question, and Eddie stuck out his thumb. The screech of tires rang out through the streets, and Benny the Cab was in front of them. He held the door open for Alicia as she climbed into the back seat.

"Could you try to sneak us into Anime Town?"

"Anime Town…does that exist?" Alicia asked, excited.

"Of course it does!" Roger answered, laughing. "Why, just the other day—"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, because they were speeding away at a pace too quick for talking.

"You three have fun getting seizures!" Dolores called after them, but they all ignored her.

* * *

Lulu loved Toon Town more by the minute. She and Jenna had practically died when they heard that there was an endless supply of dresses for almost every Toon of all shapes and sizes. She had kissed Smarty hard on the cheek when he told her that he could swing by Olive Oyl's place and ask her for a couple of dresses. "She's about your size, and, c'mon, we used to be co-workers," he had said, blushing furiously.

She loved the dress, which was purple and sparkly. She wondered if Smarty would think she looked pretty in it. She thought of Jenna's super pretty green dress, and wryly thought of Greasy's reaction. It would probably be a great one, one worth mimicking over the dinner table.

"Hey, Lulu, guess what's different about me!" Jenna shouted, running into the room without knocking. Lulu jumped.

"Don't you ever knock? And I saw your dress already!" She turned around, getting ready to yell at her friend some more. She did yell, but not at her. "Oh, my God, you're a TOON!"

"I know, right? Look, isn't this cool!" She WAS a Toon. All of her features were the same: long hair, pretty eyes, straight nose, and perfect body. They were just…brighter in color and cartoony.

"How did this happen?" She asked, running over and poking Jenna. She didn't even flinch. It was almost as if…she could feel nothing at all.

"I thought you saw Cool World," she hinted, and Lulu's eyes widened, then got squinty.

"Wait…I thought that you already…with…and…oh, my."

"I don't understand all of it, too," she admitted, twirling around. The dress looked PERFECT on her, and Lulu felt awkward being a regular person in a Toon's dress. "I think that maybe it's because the effects might be different from the situation in the movie."

"What do you mean?"

"In the movie, the Toon women wanted to have sex with the regular guys, right? Well, maybe the process is slower with regular girls and Toon guys." She shrugged. "I really don't care. I'M A TOON!" She giggled.

"Shush," Lulu hissed, glancing at the closed door. "Did Greasy and the others see you like this? How long have you been a Toon?"

"Five minutes ago I noticed," she answered nonchalantly. "And no, they haven't seen me like this."

"Let's surprise them," Lulu suggested. "Go out and act like nothing is wrong or different."

"Stupid will probably ruin the surprise," Jenna grumbled, and Lulu rolled her eyes. Stupid had been the one to hit them over the head and knock them out. When the girls woke up, Greasy and Smarty were untying them from a chair, explaining that the favor was that they had to take a picture of the girls tied to a chair.

"We never said anything about knocking them out," Smarty had scolded Stupid before sending him to stand in the corner of the room.

The girls rolled their eyes, remembering this. "I think it's almost time for us to go to Anime Town, anyway," Lulu changed the subject, and they walked out.

* * *

The reactions of the weasels had all been memorable, and Lulu wished that she had had a camera to capture it all forever. She didn't.

"When they drew you, did they break the pencil?" Greasy asked, teasing Jenna a little. She swatted him playfully on the arm.

"Come on, let's go," Lulu pleaded, pulling on Smarty's arm. "I want to go to Anime Town." He nodded, linked his arm with hers, and started to lead the group to the door.

"Please, please, PLEASE boss," Wheezy whined. He was grabbing onto Smarty's ankles and being dragged across the floor as the sergeant stormed towards the door. "I'll do anything—shine your shoes, serve your dinner…ANYTHING. Don't leave me with STUPID and PSYCHO! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THEM!"

"We're going out to dinner, so we don't need you to cook it," Smarty reminded him.

"Get off the ground," Greasy told him, kicking at his head. Wheezy let go, coughed a little and shuffled over to Stupid and Psycho. They were sitting about a foot apart from each other, staring each other directly in the eyes. Wheezy frowned and stood in between them.

"Hell-o, Earth to Psycho and Stupid…what are you doing?"

"Scissors," Psycho snickered.

"Paper," Stupid presented.

"ROCK," they shouted in unison. Wheezy scowled, but froze as a faint rumble was heard in the distance…above them? Smarty, Lulu, Greasy, and Jenna noticed that Wheezy was standing on a red X painted on the ground…and above him was the source of the rumble: a giant rock that was slowly tumbling towards the ground and towards him.

"That's not how it goes!" He was saying. "It's rock, paper, scissors—"

CRASH!

"…shoot," he said weakly from underneath the tons of stone that had crushed him. Stupid guffawed and Psycho began giggling. Greasy smiled.

"I think that they're in capable hands," he said, wrapping an arm around Jenna's waist.

Wheezy was heard screaming in agony as they closed the door. Lulu wondered how much peace and quiet could be found in Anime Town. She hoped that it was a lot.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	27. Chapter 27

**Howdy, everyone. Sorry, but no shout outs today because I just got into a fight with my little bro and I'm not in a good mood now. Don't worry, I'll feel better in a little while. :) But I'd also like to dedicate this chapter to Lulu and Leo Krim, two children who were murdered on October 25****th****. Every death is tragic, and the deaths of two children are no exception. It's bad enough that we have to deal with the suicide of Amanda Todd, but finding two children under the age of ten killed slain ruthlessly is too much. Keep them in your thoughts.**

Chapter Twenty-Seven

There was so much color here. It hurt Alicia's eyes to look at it, and even Roger squinted a little. "Jeepers, I thought that the spotlights at the Ink and Paint Club were bad! Golly, it's been a while since I've been in here."

"We're not here for sightseeing," Eddie reminded him as Benny turned into a tiny street. "We're going to hide. I used to have an old office here…I always figured that if any trouble sprung up here, I wouldn't have to make too many long trips from my place to this place."

"I'm glad you decided not to sell it," Alicia commented as Benny pulled to a stop in front of a quaint apartment building. Okay, loud music was blasting from inside, and the colors were very vivid, but it was pretty cozy by the town's standards.

"Teddy and I were going to, but after he died, Dolores talked me out of it. She said that someday I might want to come back. I'm glad I listened to her. C'mon, I'll give you the grand tour." He helped her out of the cab, but when Roger started to follow, he was pushed back in. "No, you're not coming."

"What?"

"Somebody could recognize you! For all we know, the weasels have spies roaming around this place. Benny, do you know where he can stay?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Valiant!" Benny saluted. "I know a place on Gingerbread Lane that would be perfect. But like I said, if you run into any problems—"

"We'll stick out our thumbs," Alicia finished, and Benny gave her a happy wink before he drove off with Roger. Alicia waved to them before Eddie dragged her inside.

* * *

"This is nice," she said politely, looking around the room. It was cleaner than the one back in the real world, but it was also tinier. There was a desk, a bed, and a bathroom. Nothing else was there. The colors of everything in the room were white and green, which were quite restful for their eyes. Eddie was rummaging through a desk drawer, and he found what he was looking for: two pairs of sunglasses.

"Aha! Here you go," he said, giving one pair to her. "Don't take them off. They'll help protect your eyes, and they'll protect your identity." She nodded and slipped them on.

"So, speaking of sight-seeing," she cleared her throat. "Is there any chance that we could go look around this place?"

"Didn't you hear what I said to Roger?"

"You said that he couldn't go sight-seeing, not us," she said. "Please, Eddie? I've never been to Anime Town before!"

"Fine," he shrugged. "We need to get out and start looking for clues, too. I know just the place…"

* * *

"Pokémon, Digimon, and Miyazaki…oh my," Smarty joked as they stepped out of the Toon Patrol's car. They had all had to crowd into the front seat of the car, but Greasy and Jenna had managed to make them all fit. Smarty just stared straight ahead at the road the whole ride, keeping quiet, which was unusual for everyone. They had reached their destination: some fancy nightclub called simply Moon Beams. In spite of the simple name, the club was pretty loud: the techno music blasted at full volume from inside, the place smelled like exotic drinks that the girls had never heard of or seen, and a lot of familiar faces were over the place.

"I could have sworn that I saw Sonic over there," Jenna muttered as they sat down.

"Wouldn't surprise me, not after what happened to you today," Greasy told her. He couldn't stop staring at her. "Remind me again…how did that happen?"

"I'll tell you later," she said with a suggestive wink. A better song came on, and a new crowd of customers flocked to the dance floor.

"Do you dance?" Greasy asked.

"Do you?" She said, surprised.

"Want to find out?" He said, returning the suggestive wink. She giggled and went with him, leaving Smarty and Lulu alone at the table.

"You've been quiet," she observed, smiling at him. "Is something wrong?"

"The rabbit's on the run, and the judge isn't gonna be happy about it," he complained. Lulu sighed.

"Look, I thought we were here to have a good time. Don't think about Roger." She smiled again. "Is there anything else?"

"What do you care?" He snapped, and she frowned.

"I'm sorry; I thought that since we were here on a double date, you'd, I don't know, want to get to know me or something!"

"This wasn't my idea," he muttered, and Lulu bit her lip to stop herself from crying at that.

"If you didn't want to come, you should have told me so! It would have made things so much easier!" She stood up and shook her head, fighting against the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. "God, this was such a waste of time. Take me home."

"We just got here!"

"And I'm ready to leave. Take me home." She cocked her head to the side, pretending to be thoughtful. "Oh, oops, never mind. I'm your hostage, right? Don't take me home. Take me back to jail or wherever the hell you were holding us!" She and Smarty had engaged in a glaring contest, but she broke contact when she saw something over his shoulder by the entrance to the club. "Hey, isn't that—Eddie?" Smart Ass's eyes widened, and he turned to see the only two real people (aside from Lulu) that were there. It was Eddie and Alicia.

"Valiant's here, let's am-scray," Smarty shouted, dragging Lulu out by the wrist. Greasy amazingly overheard his boss over the pounding music, and he managed to get Jenna off the dance floor, although she was slightly annoyed by it.

"What's going on?" She demanded. "Come on, I like this song!" They had to push past the detective and Alicia on the way out, and Eddie noticed them, even though they were wearing Toon clothes.

"There are the girls!"

"What happened to Jenna?" Alicia asked in horror.

"We can try to fix that later, let's get them!" Eddie shouted, charging towards them.

* * *

_Review, please? :)_

_P.S. I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to post this chapter up yesterday. But since I'm getting close to getting a hundred reviews, I'll go ahead and post two chapters up today! Coming up next: another chase, romantic tension, love letters, funeral plans, and some more of the weasels, including the origins of Greasy as a character!_


	28. Chapter 28

**Cartooniac—Yes, I know. The murders were terrible. Poor things…anyway, thanks again for the reviews! Yes, there will be some more anime cameos later…right now, I need to ask…who likes motorcycles? ;)**

**greatbigsealover44—I know! I felt so bad dropping the rock on his head…but then again, it was pretty funny. LOL! Anyway, I loved your last update! It was awesome!**

**Hearts Aglow—Oh, thanks! I do need a little break, but since I have Tuesday off, I will have plenty of time to do some writing.**

**Jenna—Everything was okay, but last night my parents RUINED one of my ultimate fan girl moments! I was SO upset…I still kind of am. Nobody understands me sometimes. Ha, ha, ha…anyway, do you like motorcycles? We're going to ride through Anime Town on them!**

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Get in the car," Greasy said, letting Jenna slide into the front seat. He slammed the passenger door once he was inside—Smarty was now driving, and Lulu had taken shelter in the back. The last thing she saw before the doors closed was Eddie standing by the side of the road with Alicia.

The detective saw the car take off, and he stuck out his thumb. Benny was there before they had time to blink.

"Follow them!"

"Man, oh man, whatever happened to her? That's one heck of a paint job!" Benny cried, referring to Toon Jenna, who was briefly seen sticking her head out through one of the windows.

"We don't know! Where's Roger?"

"Don't worry, he's safe! I dropped him off at this little joint: the Comic Casino, have you been there?"

"Once or twice," Eddie called over the noise.

"Well, he's okay. Want me to drop you off there?"

"No, keep following them!" Alicia ordered, pointing at the weasels. Benny nodded and gathered speed. But then the Toon Patrol's car turned into a midnight black street…it was impossible to see which direction they had gone, or where they had been hiding. Benny turned on his headlights and tried to hunt them down, but their efforts were in vain. He and Eddie cursed loudly and left the street grumbling and Alicia face-palmed. Why did these things keep happening?

* * *

"That was close!" Jenna giggled as they parked outside of the hideout. Lulu had been whining during the whole chase, claiming that she has decided to ride in the back because she didn't want to be near Smart Ass after the things he had said to her and that she hoped that he would find some nice cartoon weasel and be very happy with her until their heads were soaked in dip. Jenna had made a mental note to ask her about what had happened later. They entered the hideout, which was still standing, meaning that everything must have gone over okay with the other three weasels.

"Are you here? Oh, thank you, thank you!" Wheezy was in a terrible state. He looked even worse than Psycho did. "I was beginning to think that it would never end! Don't leave me again!"

"How was it?" Stupid asked innocently, stuffing a fist into his mouth. Psycho did the same for no reason. The girls were used to this random behavior by now and paid no attention to it.

"Great!" Jenna chirped.

"Swell," Lulu said sarcastically. "We should really do it again sometime. Now, if nobody minds, I'm going to bed." She stormed off before anybody had a chance to reply. Jenna followed her.

"Are you okay?"

"No, no I'm not!" Lulu snapped once they had entered her "room".

"What happened?

"Smart Ass said that he didn't want to go on the date! He said that the whole thing wasn't his idea!"

"Oh, Lulu, that's awful," she said sympathetically. She sat down on the bed next to her friend and patted her on the shoulders sympathetically…and then her eyes lit up when she saw something on the table next to the bed. "Hey, look at this!" Jenna grabbed a folded piece of paper off of the table top and began to read from it. Lulu looked at it over her shoulder, and her face brightened.

"Oh, la la…somebody likes writing poetry!"

"Hey, shut up!" She swatted her friend's arm playfully. "This is so mushy…I can't believe Greasy would write this! '_My precious one, I love you so, and every day that love will grow until it does reach the sky, and even then it will not die. Nothing can change the way I feel, not even the way you look. It's my eyes that you steal; it's my heart that you took. I will always love the person who loves me most_.'" She grinned.

"At least somebody's having a romantic night," Lulu remarked, collapsing onto her bed.

"Don't worry, Lulu. We can get back at him later," she promised, and they both smirked. "Anyway, I'm going to go talk to Greasy."

"Are you sure that's the only thing you'll be doing?"

* * *

Jenna knocked on the open door of the Toon Patrol's "office". Greasy was in there, and he looked happy to see her. "Hey, I had a really great time tonight," she said softly, entering the room.

Greasy shrugged. "Not the ideal date, huh? Sorry about the rabbit."

"Aw, don't worry about that!" She teased. "But hey, I was wondering…" She tilted her head to the side, thoughtfully. "How come you're Spanish and the others aren't? You are brothers, right?"

"_Si_," he nodded. "Don't ask me. I have no idea. I was just drawn that way." She nodded, too. That was a good point…and hadn't Jessica made the same point earlier? She suddenly frowned as the words of Jessica came flooding back to her. "_I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way_…" Couldn't the same be said about the Toon Patrol? Or had they really been drawn evil? She decided not to think about that.

"Thanks for the letter, by the way," she smiled. "That was really sweet." He gave her a puzzled look.

"What letter? I never gave you a letter." She frowned.

"But then, who was—oh!"

* * *

"Wait here a second," Eddie told Benny. "We'll be right back." Alicia didn't hear him. She was so disappointed that they had been involved in two car chases and had left both of them without anything helpful. She entered the apartment, grumbling. Eddie followed her in.

"I can't believe we lost them," Alicia complained, falling onto the bed and burying her face in the pillow. "We were so close."

"Listen. Get your things now," Eddie interrupted. "We're leaving." Alicia sat up, perplexed.

"But we just got here! We don't know anything about the case!"

"We know that we can't be here in Anime Town, and I don't think that there's anything that's going to be of much help," he pointed out. "We can't stay here, because if there weren't any cops here before, there will be now."

"So was this all completely pointless?" She asked in disbelief.

"No, not exactly," he smirked. "I did grab this." He showed her a folded-up map, one of those tourist-y ones that can show you where celebrities live in Hollywood and where the best places for sight-seeing are in London. "Look at it!" This one was of Anime Town. Alicia looked through it. Pokémon Park, Inuyasha Investigations, Miyazaki Museum, Movie Theater, the School District…and there was a special tunnel underground that could lead to Toon Town! It was so small that she almost missed it…but it was underneath the streets of some fancy little neighborhood called The Manga Arc.

"So…we're going to sneak in through there?"

"Yes," he nodded. "But we're going to get Roger first. We'll stay at the casino tonight. C'mon."

Alicia left the small place after giving it one last long look. She was growing a little sick of all of the moving around, but still, this was getting kind of fun. She could really get used to it.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_And while you're at it, let's talk about Star Wars. How does everyone feel about Disney buying the rights to it? Could the sequel trilogy be any good? Will it at least be better than the prequel trilogy? Could it possibly be worse?_

_I'm sorry that this chapter took a while for me to upload. I initially had troubles with the car chase at the beginning, as I intended to have the weasels riding stolen motorcycles. I edited this because I felt that the motorcycles weren't needed._


	29. Chapter 29

**WOW, I will have a hundred reviews soon! I can't believe it! I love all of you so much! 3**

**Jenna—I LOVE SLEET! I LOVE SMARTY! *pauses* Wait…I'm supposed to be mad at Smarty! He was the one being a big raging bitch face! *pushes him aside and grabs Sleet* I love you, Sleet! GASPS! You've NEVER seen Star Wars? Great, what is this world coming to?**

**Hearts Aglow—You're welcome! :)**

**Cartooniac—Princess Leia…a DISNEY PRINCESS…? *sighs* Okay, that's it. It's time for me to curl up into a ball and cry…Star Wars is RUINED. And yes, you might be on to something with the note. ;)**

**Alicia—I will now proceed to conduct my test equipment. This test equipment will be used in a real emergency, such as when rumors as DRASTIC as the one you have brought up have been confirmed. *insert long, fan girl scream of despair* STAR WARS…IS NOT…A MUSICAL!**

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The inside of the Comic Casino looked like the one featured in All Dogs go to Heaven. In fact, Alicia could have sworn that they walked past Carface, the villain from that movie, as they headed upstairs. "They let me stay here a couple years back when Teddy and I were investigating the robbery here," Eddie recalled as he led her to a lobby area.

"Who was the one who did it?" She asked.

"Eh, some washed-up Toon that thought he could pin the whole thing on the newcomer in Anime Town." He began talking quietly with someone behind the receptionist's desk, and Alicia got a good look around. There was a lot of gambling, a lot of smoking, a lot of loud music (shocker), and a small room labeled HALL OF FAME. Alicia tugged at Eddie's sleeve just as he accepted the key to their room.

"Hey, Eddie, I'm going to go look around in there," she said. "What's the room number?"

"A113," he replied, slipping her the extra key. "Hopefully Roger hasn't made a fool of himself. I'll go check on him, k?"

"Okay, I'll be up in a minute," she nodded, and entered the room. It was very neat and very long. It had an oblong shape, but it was full of interesting memorabilia. Old newspaper articles covered the wall, as well as the names of several old comic strip characters, most of which she had never heard of…except for one that took up a generous amount of space in the center of the room: _Roger Rabbit_. There was a small statue in his likeness in a trophy case, waving and grinning at the crowd of fans that weren't there. And then there were several articles and pictures behind him. She read them all, intrigued.

"In light of the strike at Fleischer Studios, another one has commenced at Tribune Media Services in the Entertainment Division. The strike, being led by popular comic strip characters, does not voice any objections about the payroll, but instead complains of what the Toons are deeming 'unnecessary censorship'.

"'The people are saying that they're doing this because the stuff put in the comics—the stuff we say—is ridiculous and vulgar,' Little Orphan Annie was quoted as saying. 'Do you know what's ridiculous? Having us go to all this work, pose for the pictures, say our lines, and then find all of our hard work cut from the final product: that's ridiculous.'

"Annie's comic strip has been objected to by concerned parents of young children, who find that the hidden messages of communism and the subtle views on the New Deal are too inappropriate and sensitive for the comics. 'You've got to be kidding me,' Annie scoffed. 'The kids can't understand current events. And even if they do, they don't know what to do about it. They can't analyze me on a critical level. Oh, and by the way…two years ago, I was forced to speak out against labor unions. I'm a part of one, and I have no intention of turning on it.'

"Other comic characters that are involved with what is now known as the Censorship Controversy include Dick Tracy (who is fighting against a hiatus that could result from violent themes) and Roger Rabbit (a quickly-becoming notorious newcomer known for the excessive profanity used in his speech bubbles)."

The article ended abruptly after that, but the next one on the wall was short and grim, saying that a compromise couldn't be reached with Roger and the studio, and he quit, meeting up with some other Toons. They had briefly started a small, independent comic strip that grew over the years, which led to another strike: the Second-Banana Strike of 1941. That had led to Roger leaving the business, announcing that he had no intention of returning to make any appearances in any comic strips.

And then there was a photo of Roger and Jessica, looking wonderful on their wedding day, and after that, there was the article announcing their fate, which was their entry into Maroon Cartoons. Alicia skimmed through all of the notes again before an idea occurred to her. She ran out of the Hall of Fame and found the elevator that would take her to her room. Once she had located the room, she knocked on the door rapidly.

"Roger, Eddie, are you two in here?"

"Hey," Eddie greeted, opening the door for her. This was the fanciest room that Alicia had ever stayed in. The carpet was red and gold and it matched the pretty curtains that hung alongside the enormous window that gave them a sweet view of the streets below. There was even a crystal chandelier hanging in the direct center of the ceiling. Eddie locked the door to the room, and then began to tear through the contents of the mini-bar.

"Oh, hi, Alicia," Roger cried, bouncing on the king-size bed. "How are you?"

"I think that I may have found someone who can help us," she announced, and Eddie perked up.

"Who is it?"

"Roger, do you remember Howard the Duck?" Alicia asked, and Roger grinned.

"I sure do!"

"Me too," Eddie smirked. "Good old Howie…man, those were good times."

"Will he be able to help us?" Alicia wondered.

"Are you kidding? He owes me one," Eddie laughed. "We'll pay him a visit tomorrow."

"Okay!" Roger collapsed comically on a couch pushed against the wall and began snoring loudly and dramatically. Alicia walked over to Eddie.

"You do know that this isn't his first time that he's been on the wrong side of the law, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The strikes, Eddie," she explained everything.

"Oh, those," he shrugged. "Don't let those bother you. They happen a lot in Toon Town and here. Almost everyone has been involved in one." He gently patted her on the shoulder. "You should get some sleep," he suggested. "I think that we'll be leaving in a few hours." She nodded and curled up under the bedspread of the huge bed.

"Are you going to sleep?"

"No, I'll keep watch. But you sleep now. You need it more than I do." She nodded and rested her head on the pillow, her mind full of thoughts and expectations for tomorrow...

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry, no shout-outs today because I'm running a little behind in my schedule and I had a fight with my dad. (But on the bright side, I think I may have found stuff to blackmail him with, should I need to…maybe I can just embarrass him before he goes to the hospital.) Anyway, there will be shout-outs tomorrow, I promise! But first…thank you all so much for reviewing and reading! I love you all! *hugs***

Chapter Thirty

Lulu had managed to get her hands on a pencil and some paper, and she now sat on the bed, tapping the pencil's eraser against her bottom lip as she thought. She got a great idea, and began to write again. She hadn't seen Jenna all morning—she was probably off with Greasy—and the rest of the Toon Patrol hadn't been around that much. But she wasn't surprised when there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" She called out airily…but frowned when she saw who it was. "Hello, Smart Ass."

"What are you working on?" He asked, walking into the room and sitting next to her on the bed. She stiffened a little…she was still recovering from the emotional wounds from the night before.

"It's just some lists," she said casually, trying to hide her discomfort.

"What are they of?"

"They're the names of people who will suffer once I become the Supreme Queen Dictator-Empress All Powerful Ruler of the Disney Empire," she replied in one breath. "Everyone gives me that look," she added when Smarty gave her a blank stare. "Now, I'm contemplating which list to put you on. I was thinking about having you on the Neutral List, which is where I put the people who are mostly awesome, but have done things that…need to be addressed. But after you broke my heart into a million tiny pieces last night, I've been debating about whether or not to put you on the list of people who will Beg for Mercy and NOT Receive Any because…well, you broke my heart into a million tiny pieces!"

"I didn't mean to—"

"Didn't mean to?" She repeated incredulously. "DIDN'T MEAN TO? You told me this!" She held up another sheet of paper, which, aside from the millions of hearts with arrows drawn through them, had Smarty's exact statement from the night before.

"THIS WASN'T MY IDEA."

"You know, it sounded harsher in my head," she remarked. "It doesn't make much sense when it isn't in context."

"Oh, get over it!" He groaned. "I'm sorry!"

"It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to get over it!"

"What if I was the one who wrote that letter to you?" He slapped a hand over his mouth after he asked this, almost as if he wanted to stuff the words right back into his mouth. Lulu stared at him with her mouth hanging open for a few minutes, and then began trembling with rage.

"You know, there are two things that I really hate: people who lie, and the people who call me a liar. I think that you, Wise Guy, are a liar."

"What, you don't believe me?"

"You don't look like the kind of person who would write something like that!"

"Jesus," he groaned again. "Why is it so hard to talk to you?"

"I'm not that hard to talk to if you're nice to me," Lulu declared, glaring at the weasel. "And you were not nice to me last night!"

"Well, I wasn't trying to be mean! I was trying to tell you that last night wasn't my idea of a date."

"Oh, what is your ideal date?" She asked mockingly.

He was silent for a minute, then coughed. Lulu didn't catch all of what he said, but she did hear something about candles and violin music. He mumbled for a while longer, then looked at Lulu, who was blushing furiously. "What do you think?"

"Well, you're a better writer than Roger is, that's for sure."

* * *

The house that Benny had escorted them to was small and dirty, but Eddie smiled wryly and approached the front door with much ease. Alicia and Roger followed, ready to run for it if they needed to. Eddie knocked on the door three times.

"Go away, I'm not home!" A voice yelled from inside.

"Come on, Howard the Duck; open this door before I call my lawyers!" The tinkle of glass breaking came from inside, and the front door cracked open a little bit.

"Eddie, is that you?"

"Hey, Howie, it's me," he answered, and the door opened all the way to reveal a Toon duck that looked eerily similar to Donald Duck. Recognition dawned on his face, and then he chuckled.

"What in the name of the Great Mouse in the Sky is happening? How the hell are you?" He pulled Eddie inside, and Alicia and Roger followed. This place was a little small, but it was nice. It didn't feel like the rest of Anime Town did—it was quiet, done mostly in pastel colors, and had no music playing in the background.

"Isn't it kind of odd for a Toon to be living outside of Toon Town?" Alicia wondered.

"Not if you're trying to hide from the evil producers that want to make a kid-friendly movie," he snorted. "I'm not leaving Anime Town until those producers get off my case. What part of 'not intended for children' do they not understand? Because it's written in black-and-white in my contract, and I think that they must be blind."

"I helped you once before," Eddie reminded him.

Howard smiled. "Yeah, yeah you did. Man, what did I use to tell you? We were like three peas in a pod, the three Musketeers: Eddie, Teddy, and Howie!"

"Now it's time to return the favor."

"Sure thing," he grinned. "What is it?"

"Have you been classically trained in acting?"

There was a brief pause. "What kind of a question is THAT?" Howard asked, confused.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Okay, there are two semi-important things: one, thank God the election is over! I am so happy! Also, tomorrow my dad is going to be having surgery, so if I don't get the chance to update, that's why. Anyway, better late than never!_


	31. Chapter 31

**Good GOD, I am so sorry about how late this update is. School and my family are being annoying, and I got a new boyfriend…love is a many splendored thing, but it does tire you out. Ha, ha, ha…anyway, as promised, here are SHOUTOUTS!**

**Alicia—I hope you're feeling better. I'm pretty sure that you are. Hopefully this chapter will make you feel a lot better!**

**greatbigsealover44—I'm glad that you like his character. There will be more of him in future chapters!**

**Hearts Aglow—Yes, cuteness is good! Aw, thanks! Live long and prosper, too! Oh…Star Trek references never fail me. Ha, ha, ha…**

**Cartooniac—I actually do fantasize about becoming Supreme Queen Dictator-Empress All Powerful Ruler of the Disney Empire…and I think that since they have taken over Star Wars…I can FINALLY put all of my fan fiction ideas on screen! *sighs dreamily***

**Jenna—Well, here's another chapter! Sorry for the delay and sorry about that Lord Kelvin guy. Don't worry about the review. Worry about this chapter and the lack of weasels! Well, that's not true…there are some weasels.**

Chapter Thirty-One

Howard the Duck was going to the funeral incognito, and so was Eddie. Roger and Alicia had been insisting all night that they go to Toon Town, but Eddie said that it was out of the question. "You can visit his grave later," he promised Roger, and that seemed to satisfy the rabbit a little.

"But I want to go! I can help!" Alicia protested.

"No, it's too risky. Besides, you can help by staying here and watching over Roger!"

"Please, Eddie?"

"No!"

So Alicia remained at Howard's hideout with Roger, sitting in front of a television. Roger had brightened when he found that Cartoon Cable was broadcasting live footage of the funeral…but grew sad when he watched Marvin Acme's body being dragged through the streets of the town.

"There's the Toon Patrol," Alicia quietly pointed out, noticing their black car trailing behind the body, making sure that nobody walked over to the corpse. They were also probably looking out for Roger and Eddie, and she grew worried when she couldn't find them, or when she saw that Jenna and Lulu weren't with the weasels. Wait…she leaned closer to the television, admiring how bad the quality was of the old-black-and-white TVs. There were three weasels in the car: Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid. Were Smarty and Greasy in the back?

No…they were standing by the edges of the crowds, their eyes not leaving the coffin once. They wore black, like the rest of the Toons present. And Jenna and Lulu were standing next to them, also wearing black dresses. And Jenna was still a Toon, and now Lulu was one, too!

"Hey, it's Lulu and Jenna!" Roger poked the screen of the TV with a gloved finger. "Jeepers, they're both Toons! That must mean that they did the horizontal tango with the—"

"Gross," Alicia yelled, covering her ears with her hands. "Lalalalala, I can't hear you! John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt," she sang loudly, waiting for Roger to quiet down. And he did once the voice of Walt Disney—THE Walt Disney—began narrating over the live footage.

"On this day, October 24th, 1947, history is being made as Marvin Acme, the owner of Toon Town and the Acme products is laid to rest—"

"What day is today?" Alicia asked in shock.

"October 24th," Roger repeated, shooting Alicia an odd look.

"It's my birthday. I'm twenty today," she realized, and Roger's eyes widened.

"Wow, that's great! Well, what does the birthday girl wish for?"

"I wish that Eddie was here," she admitted, and Roger offered a sad smile.

"He'll be back," he promised in a rare moment of seriousness. "I guarantee it!" She smiled back, and they continued to watch the funeral. If she squinted, she could spot several familiar faces in the crowd of Toons. Mickey Mouse was comforting Bugs Bunny and they were joined by…Kermit the Frog? What? Alicia shook that off as she spotted the Seven Dwarfs embracing each other and whispering to each other. The Disney Princesses—the current ones and the ones to come—and dabbed at their eyes with black handkerchiefs and sobbed as the coffin passed them.

Alicia wondered why people thought that Toons couldn't feel pain. Anything that could feel internally could feel externally. And she remembered watching an old movie called The Iron Giant. The little boy in the movie told the robot that because he had feelings and because he thought about "things", he had a soul. And souls never died, because they were inside of all good things and went on forever and ever.

Did Toons go to heaven? They had to.

* * *

Earlier that day, Lulu had been thinking slightly happier thoughts, and she had enjoyed giving Smarty a hard time about what they had done the night before. "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school," she laughed, causing one of the biggest Toon reactions she had ever seen. His jaw hit the floor and she could see his uvula. She cracked up. "It's a quote from a movie," she told him, laughing so hard that tears ran down her face. "It's one of the weirdest movies out there…Fight Club. Oh, my God, you should see your face!"

He didn't speak to her for five whole minutes. Then she apologized, they made up again, and Wheezy made some snide remarks on how quickly they were fighting and making up again. "Shut up," Smarty had told him in between kissing Lulu. Greasy and Jenna had spent the morning doing pretty much the same activities. They only stopped when it was time to get ready for the funeral.

"Why didn't your cousins get funerals?" Jenna mused on the drive down to the Toon Town public square.

"They never thought that they would need one, so they never had their affairs in order," Wheezy explained. "Besides, we don't think that they would have wanted one."

"Nobody wants to pay attention to the sad stuff," Smarty explained.

"So why are we going?" Lulu asked, examining her new Toon self in a small compact mirror. She looked more-or-less the same way she did as a "real person"…right down to the slightly weird nose that she despised. Smarty said that he liked her nose the way it was, and he reminded her that there was nothing that he wanted to change about her. He then asked if she wanted to have a date the way he wanted to have one, and she said yes, that would be lovely, but not until after the funeral.

Greasy and Jenna had plans of their own, too. Wheezy was furious at having to babysit the other two weasels again, and he was quiet for most of the ride down. He was glad when his two bosses were out of the car.

Smarty, Greasy, Jenna, and Lulu spent most of the funeral in silence. The girls knew that Smarty and Greasy were secretly sad to see their former boss gone, and they left them to their thoughts.

They didn't notice that Eddie and Howard the Duck were standing a few feet away from them. Howie was sad, of course, and Eddie had mixed feelings about it. He didn't think that he'd be going to another funeral so soon, especially one of a person so closely related to Toons. But seeing the coffin brought back memories of his brother, and he was reflective and thoughtful.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_I know that this was kind of a depressing, fluffy and stupid chapter, but things are going to get much better once we get to the hostage exchange soon! ;) Also, we'll find out more about Howard the Duck's past, find out if Eddie learned anything at the funeral, and get some more Toon trivia!_


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey, everyone, I am SO SORRY about the delay in my updating. I had a fight with my father and a bad case of writer's block when it came to this story. But here's another chapter…oh, yeah, and who likes Star Trek? I just found out that the actress who played Dolores in Roger Rabbit was once a freaking VULCAN! Um…MIND FREAK! Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers!**

Chapter Thirty-Two

Alicia woke up screaming the next morning. Her face was almost burned by the candles on the birthday cake in front of her, her ears were ringing from Roger's noisemakers, and the colors of the balloons nearly blinded her. It didn't help when Howard ran into the room and began popping the balloons and blowing the candles out, scolding Roger for making such noise. "Happy Birthday, Alicia," the rabbit managed to holler before he was strangled by the duck. Alicia groaned and buried her head under a pillow—Howard's bed wasn't the most comfortable, but she needed all of the rest she could get—and was forced awake by Eddie. He shoved a hastily wrapped package in her face. "Open it up!" He ordered. She stared at it wearily.

"Go on, open it," he repeated. "It's a birthday gift, for crying out loud. You're acting like a bomb's in there!" Alicia stared at him.

"How'd you know it was my—?"

"Are you kidding me? People in Albuquerque probably know it's your birthday," he interrupted, and Alicia nodded, her eardrums still recovering from Roger's birthday song. "Now, are you gonna open it or not?" Alicia nodded and began to carefully peel the wrapping paper apart. "Who cares about the paper? Just open it already! The suspense is killing me!"

"Eddie, you already know what it is."

"So? I'm still excited!"

"I'm even more excited than you are," Alicia teased.

"Then act like it and open the box!"

It was a magnifying glass, not a brand-new one, but an old one. The glass was a little cracked, and parts of it were chipped here and there, but it was still special. "It's a family heirloom," Eddie announced proudly. "My brother had it, then I had it, and now it's yours."

"Oh, Eddie, I can't accept this," Alicia insisted, trying to hand it back to him. "This is too valuable."

"Don't be silly," he scoffed, refusing. "You deserve it. You've been doing more work than I have during this case." She raised an eyebrow. "Okay, okay, you've been doing forty-five percent of the work. And I think that means you should get a little reward."

* * *

The hostage exchange was that night. Alicia and Eddie showed up at the outskirts of Toon Town with a tied-up Toon in a large black bag. The two humans paced back and forth, listening for any signs of trouble…they eventually heard the mocking giggle of the Weasels.

"You come alone, Valiant?" Smart Ass called out softly from inside the tunnel.

"Yeah," he lied, giving Alicia a look that warned her to be quiet. She nodded once and darted towards the tunnel, pressing her back against it and eavesdropping on the conversation. "I got the rabbit," Eddie continued, tossing the black bag into the tunnel.

"And we got the girls, as promised," Wheezy responded.

"_Adios, chica_," Greasy said softly, and Jenna was heard giggling briefly before she ran out of the tunnel, followed by Lulu.

"Ta-dah, how do you like my new look?" She cried out, spinning in circles, showing off her Toon form for Eddie. Lulu did the same.

"Great, great," Eddie said hastily. "Get ready to run," he added in a low voice as Alicia walked towards him.

"Eddie, you never even looked at us!" Lulu pouted. The weasels were heard opening the bag, and then crying out in surprise.

"What the—WHO ARE YOU?"

"Howard the Duck," came the response, following by the muffled cries and smacks of a violent struggle.

"We've been tricked! It's a setup! Let's get out of here!" The weasels were panicking, but by this point, Eddie and the girls were too far away to hear them.

"Do you know where we're going now?" Alicia wondered.

"Back to Dolores's place," he answered. "It's small, but it'll have to do for tonight. Don't act so excited," he said as a response to Alicia's dismayed face.

"Trust me. On the inside, I'm jumping up and down and shouting with glee," she groaned.

"Jumping up and down with glee," Lulu repeated dreamily. Alicia gave her a funny look.

"Are you okay?"

"They—Psycho and Wheezy…they gave us these REALLY WEIRD…things, and we have no idea what's going on," Jenna giggled, stumbling like a drunkard all over the place. "They said it was Weasel Dust."

"Cocaine," Eddie moaned. "They gave you cocaine? And you took it?"

"I was bored," Jenna whined, almost tripping over her own feet. "What were we supposed to do?"

"We could SING!" Lulu shouted, bumping into her.

"I thought that Toons having real alcohol was bad enough," Eddie observed as Alicia struggled to hold her friends up.

"Do you think that they'll calm down after a while?" Alicia asked worriedly.

"Probably," he said confidently. "And I'm sure that we'll give them something to drink when we get to Dolores's apartment."

"Cocaine is sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy!" Jenna sang at the top of her lungs, and Lulu joined her soon, belting out her own rendition of Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Sorry that I've been missing for SO LONG, once again. But daily updates are BACK!_


	33. Chapter 33

**Alicia—Actually, she was a Vulcan on Star Trek: Enterprise. DON'T WATCH THAT SHOW. It's a disgrace to Star Trek. Ugh, speaking of disgraces…guess who won't buy me the complete Inuyasha series? If you guessed my communist Dad, then you're correct! Ha, ha, ha…I blame NETFLIX for taking Inuyasha off of Instant Watch.**

**Jenna—You've been worried about ME? Alicia and I had been worried about YOU! Well, glad that we got this cleared up. I'm fine.**

**Hears Aglow—I know, but not for long…they're okay now, I think.**

**greatbigsealover44—I got the idea when my family and I were watching a movie about drug dealers and my dad said, "Oh, its weasel dust…cocaine." And I was like, "Hey, IDEA!"**

Chapter Thirty-Three

Alicia didn't think that it would be a good idea for them to bring the girls to Dolores's apartment while Jenna and Lulu were suffering from the effects of TWD (Toon Weasel Dust), so they dropped by a movie theater to take a load off. Lulu and Jenna stopped giggling and twitching and began to watch the movie that was playing…some old one that they had never heard of. Alicia also started to watch, but got a little distracted when Dolores joined them. "How did you find us?" She asked in a low voice.

"Eddie called me," she said, raising an eyebrow, as if to say, "What else?" Alicia slumped over in her seat, wishing that she was invisible. It only got worse when they started flirting.

"Dolores, you ought to find yourself a good man," he said to her solemnly and quietly.

"But I already have one," she replied, and they leaned in for a kiss. They were interrupted by Roger gushing over them…and Alicia pouting and trying to hold back her tears.

"Oh, please, don't mind me," Roger sighed, his eyes becoming large hearts. Alicia sniffled and bit her lip.

"Better get going, Eddie," Dolores urged, standing up, as if she wanted to walk away from the awkwardness. Alicia tried to glare another hole in her head whenever she wasn't looking.

"I'm glad that Teddy's not here to see me walking away with my tail between my legs," Eddie remarked, and Alicia wondered what he meant by that. Was he referring to having a romantic moment ruined, or having an upset girl? And if it was the latter…was the girl her or Dolores?

"Oh, it's not so bad once you get used to it!" Roger said, not getting Eddie's old joke.

"Here R.K. Maroon received twenty big ones from the Cloverleaf owners in one of the biggest real estate deals in California history!" An old, crackly voice boomed from the big screen. It made everyone freeze and run back to the theater. Maroon was holding up a check and shaking hands with some young businessman, grinning from ear to ear.

"That's it! That's the key to the case!" Eddie exclaimed, and dashed outside.

"But, that's not fair!" Lulu whined, following him. "Dolores said that this deal wouldn't be happening for a few more days…"

"They must be getting pretty desperate," Jenna said thoughtfully. "And they wanted to have it as soon as possible. Or maybe they were lying to the public the whole time or something."

"We have to find the will tonight," Eddie decided. "It's the only way."

* * *

They were all crowded outside of a phone booth, listening to Eddie's conversation with the Richard Nixon clone. "Maroon, is that you? I just saw you in the theater! No, not in person…oh, really, is that right? Can you believe it? Yeah…yeah…yeah, I've got it. No, no, no…yeah. Great! I'll see you tonight."

"What did you tell him?" Lulu asked when Eddie hung up.

"That we already had the will," he said, helping himself to some of the booze he had in a flask.

"You're not serious!" Jenna groaned. "What are we going to do?"

"Leave that to me," he said.

* * *

Eddie's car pulled into the lot of Maroon Cartoons, with the three girls, the detective, and Roger all crammed into it. Dolores was downtown, going to inform Santino about the latest developments. "Let's just go!" Roger stammered when Eddie parked the vehicle. "There's nobody here!"

"Is that it, or are you scared?" Jenna teased.

"Me, scared? Don't be ridiculous!" He lied, clamping down on his nails. "When he called Maroon, he said that we had the will! But we don't! When he finds out, he's gonna be mad!" He explained, teeth chattering. "He might try to kill you two," he added, flattening his back against a wall and standing on his tiptoes.

"Don't worry about that," Alicia smirked. "Eddie and I have a cunning plan."

"What's that?" Jenna asked eagerly, and the smirk faded.

"I have no idea." She glared at Eddie, still upset about the incident in the theater.

"Be quiet," Eddie hissed. "You three stay here and cover our backs," he said to Lulu, Jenna, and Roger. "If you hear or see anything, beep the horn twice," he ordered before climbing the stairs with Alicia to Maroon's office.

"Got it," Jenna nodded.

"Yeah, that's it, beep the horn twice! Cover your back! Boy, I'm ready! Dukes up! Eyes peeled! Ears to the ground! Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit!" He was on a roll with this, and it was making Lulu uneasy. She had already climbed into the driver's seat of the car and had one hand on the steering wheel, ready to give the signal at a moment's notice.

"I guess that being quiet isn't one of the things on your list of good qualities, huh?" Jenna chuckled. "Come on, Lulu. Get out of the car. Nothing bad is going to happen." Lulu decided to relax a little, and she slid out of the car and walked around it to join her friend and the cartoon.

They—the girls, at least—should have seen this coming, especially after it had happened to them so many times already. But they didn't…and they were knocked out.

"Here we go again," Lulu mentally groaned before she blacked out.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	34. Chapter 34

**Jenna—Well, here's another chapter! Sorry we're not in it, but we will be soon!**

**Alicia—I am pissed at my father, who had the audacity to call Inuyasha TEDIOUS. I now swear by the Anime Gods (including Miyazaki, who I don't really like) that my father WILL become an Inuyasha fan...OR ELSE…something will happen. I'll figure it out.**

Chapter Thirty-Four

Alicia and Eddie snuck into the office through a secret passageway. It actually led them to a room full of old film reels. Alicia wanted to look through them, but Eddie knew that that was at the bottom of their list of priorities. Maroon was busy looking at the door, waiting for them to step in, that he didn't even hear the secret passageway opening. He nearly had a stroke when Eddie tapped him on his shoulder.

"What's up, Doc?" Eddie said, quoting another cartoon rabbit.

"Good grief, Eddie! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?!" His face was damp from the sweat.

"You need a heart before you can have an attack," Eddie coined.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…you got the will?"

"Sure," he said after a moment's hesitation. "I got the will." He reached into his coat and pulled out a sheet of paper, but not long enough for Maroon to see what was written on it. He quickly hid it, and wandered over to the large quantities of alcohol that were lined up on a silver tray, like trophies. "The question is, do you have the way? I can tell you now, it ain't gonna come cheap."

"You two have got a lot of brass coming up here alone," Maroon chastised, beads of sweat glistening in the light. "What happened to the other girls that were here the other day?"

"They quit being Roger's assistants," Alicia lied quickly. "They're gone now. You don't need to worry about them."

"What about you? Why are you with Valiant?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Why should you care?"

"Let me see that will." He demanded suddenly, brandishing a small gold-colored gun.

"I told you, I got it," Eddie repeated, his voice cracking from trying to remain calm.

"I want to see it NOW!" Maroon shouted, knocking Eddie's glass out of his hand and reaching into his coat. He grabbed the paper out, and began reading Roger's love letter to his wife. "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?"

"No, but this is!" Eddie sprayed Maroon in the face with Alka-Seltzer. He punched Maroon in the face, and then pointed his own gun at him. "Get up!"

"What are you going to do to me, Valiant?" Maroon got to his feet shakily, and Eddie snatched him by the tie.

"I'm gonna listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario…the story of greed, sex, and murder!"

"And blackmail and kidnapping," Alicia added as an afterthought.

"But the parts I don't like…I'm gonna edit out."

"You've got it all wrong! I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer!"

"Everyone's got to have a hobby!" Eddie said, running Maroon's tie through the sound-editing machine…thingy. Alicia had no idea what it was called, but she had seen it in Maroon's office before.

"Oh, stop it, STOP IT, STOP IT! No!" R.K. choked and yelled.

"Eddie, is that legal?" Alicia wondered, watching in slight horror. She would have intervened, but…she wanted answers, too.

"Probably not," he admitted. "But I want answers, and I want them now."

"The truth is that I had a chance to sell my studio! But Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property! So I was gonna blackmail Acme with pictures of him and the rabbit's wife! Blackmail, that's all I've done!"

"I guess that the secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse," Alicia remarked.

"I've been around Toons all my life! I didn't want to see them destroyed!" Maroon gasped.

"Who's destroying them?" Eddie wondered.

"And why?" Alicia added.

"If I tell you, then I'm a dead man!"

"You're a dead man if you DON'T tell me!" Eddie growled, starting up the machine again.

"All I can tell you is unless the will shows up tonight at midnight—"

"Eddie, look out!" Alicia shouted, tackling the detective to the ground. She had seen a long gun by the windows, and just in time, too. Two bullets were fired directly into Maroon's back. He was killed almost instantly. Eddie was nearly hit a few times, but miraculously avoided the gunfire. Alicia stayed on the ground and didn't move until Eddie told her that he had spotted the shooter.

"It's Jessica Rabbit! And she's got her husband and Jenna and Lulu!"

"Oh, no," Alicia groaned. "Here we go again!"

"Let's go," he said, pulling her to her feet. They ran down the stairs and dashed into Eddie's car.

"There's one thing that I don't get," Alicia admitted as they sped away.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Why would Maroon want to sell his company?"

"Everyone's got to retire at some point," Eddie shrugged, "including me."

"Oh, come on, Eddie, you're not that old," Alicia joked.

"I will be one day," he said seriously. "And I don't know what's going to happen to the Toons." Alicia frowned.

"But I thought you hated them."

"Not all of them…and there's still gonna be trouble when I'm gone. And where will they all be then? Someone's gonna have to take over the business."

"Well, are you and Dolores going to have kids?" Alicia asked.

"No," Eddie snorted, shaking his head. "And even if we did, there's no guarantee that they'd want to inherit the business." He looked at her for a small second. "But you, you seem to have the knack for this investigating down. I think you'd be the first on my list of successors."

"What?" Alicia's eyes widened. "But, Eddie—"

"No need to thank me," he interrupted. "We'll talk about this later, after we've solved the case. Got it?" She nodded, and they drove in silence for a while. Alicia's head was spinning. She could hardly believe what Eddie was thinking…her a detective?

The car stopped outside of Toon Town. Alicia knew how Eddie felt about going back in, especially after everything the Weasels had put him through the last time. She touched his arm. "It's okay, Eddie. We can make it through this."

"I know…and let's not forget about the secret weapon."

"What's the secret weapon?" Alicia asked quizzically, and Eddie reached into his car and pulled out a small box. He opened it, and pulled out a Toon gun. Alicia read the small note inside…a thank you note from Yosemite Sam. He said that he wanted Eddie to have the gun as a reward for getting him out of prison. And there were five Toon bullets all lined up in a row. They squinted up at Eddie and Alicia.

"What in the Sam-hill—?"

"Why, it's Eddie Valiant! You're a sight for sore eyes!"

"How have you been?"

"Drunk," Eddie confessed, still admiring his gun. "Are you fellows feeling frisky tonight?"

"Yeah," they chorused.

"Get in," Eddie told them, holding out the gun for them. They all jumped inside eagerly, ready for whatever awaited them. Alicia grinned at Eddie, but frowned when she saw him getting ready to have a drink.

"Eddie, you don't need that. Put it away," she told him gently. "Please. Think about what Teddy would say." He thought about what she said for a few minutes, and then slowly emptied the glass. The booze poured onto the concrete of the street. He then tossed the bottle into the air and fired a bullet at it. The bullet let out a piercing war cry before shattering the glass into millions of tiny pieces. Eddie didn't look back at it. He jumped into the car, and Alicia joined him. He looked at her and smirked.

"You ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she grinned, and they drove into the terrifying tunnel to Toon Town.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_


	35. Chapter 35

**Note: Sorry for the delay in this chapter, but I've been kind of busy. Thank God for the weekend.**

**Alicia—I know, right? I don't like bragging, but I'm actually really proud of that last chapter, ha hah.**

**Jenna—I have had little success in turning my father into an Inuyasha fan…*sighs*. Oh, well. Here's a chapter with us in it!**

**greatbigsealover44—I'm sure Alicia would be glad to know that you think so, but I'm not sure how Dolores would feel.**

**Hearts Aglow—Oh, you're welcome!**

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Mommy, I didn't mean to run Groucho Marx over…"

"Hey, Lulu, wake up!" Jenna shook Lulu awake, and Lulu sat up, banged her head on something hard, and fell back down.

"Ouch…are we in a coffin?" They were in an oblong container of some sort, and everything was pure black. The girls were cramped for space, and it didn't help when Jenna's toes were stepped on by something furry.

"OUCH, my feet…watch it, Roger!"

"MY feet are extra lucky. They're rabbit feet, after all!" The Toon bragged.

"Oh yeah, well, we could use a lot of luck trying to get out of this damn…where are we?" Jenna demanded, rubbing her sore toes.

"I think this is the back of Jessica's car! I recognize her perfume scent!"

"Oh, is that what it is?" Jenna gagged. "I thought a skunk crawled in here and died."

"Hey, I bought her it as a birthday gift!" Roger angrily said.

"So do you know how to get out of here?" Lulu asked, deciding to change the subject. "I don't suppose she kept any spare keys in here…"

"No, she didn't," he said glumly. "But maybe if we make a lot of noise, she'll let us out!"

"I can't move at all!" Jenna protested. "How are we supposed to make noise?"

"Allow me to demonstrate," Roger said pertly. He cleared his throat elegantly, opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and screamed: "HELP US! OH, HELP US! PLEASE! JESSICA! HELP US!"

"My ears are bleeding," Lulu mumbled, trying her best to do a facepalm.

"Mine are, too," Jenna added…but Roger shut his cake-hole when the trunk opened and a bunch of light blinded them. A figure stood over them, and Roger seemed pleased that his plan had worked.

"Jessica, is that you? What are we doing in the back of the car? Let's get outta here!"

BANG! CRASH! Roger's head came into contact with…a frying pan? "My contract didn't say anything about tweeting birds," Roger said sleepily before passing out. Lulu and Jenna blinked, and their eyes adjusted to the light. Toon birds were flying in a perfect circle around his head, chirping happily. And Jenna was more than a little happy to see who it was that had rescued them.

"Hey, Greasy, I missed you!"

"_Hola, chicas_," the weasel grinned back, casually swinging the frying pan around. He offered Jenna his hand, and she took it and stepped out of the trunk. Lulu followed, and she stood still, rubbing her eyes a little.

"We're in Toon Town, aren't we?"

"Not too far from where the Acme geezer's resting," another familiar voice said, and she beamed, turning to face Smart Ass. He was leaning against the side of his car, smoking a cigar. He looked exactly the way he did the day Lulu met him, and she ran up to him and scooped him up in a hug. The other three were walking around, looking bored and anxious to get a move on. Wheezy was particularly jumpy, and paused only to lean against the car that had Roger resting in. He glared at the girls as he smoked a cigarette.

"Wait a second…" Lulu paused, yanked her arm out of Smarty's, and stared at the yellow car. "This is Jessica Rabbit's car!"

"How do you know?" Jenna asked, wrinkling her nose at the car. It was the prettiest car she had seen…in fact, she thought that the wife of an A-List Toon could probably do better for a mode of transportation.

"I saw it parked outside of the Acme Warehouse…the day we met them," she explained, pointing at the Toon Patrol. "So, where's Jessica?"

"Beats me," Smarty shrugged. "Let's just go."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Wheezy said cryptically, and Lulu rolled her eyes.

"And you're leaving Roger here?"

"We'll catch up with him later," Greasy grinned. "You two are more important."

"Aw, thanks," Jenna cooed, hugging him.

"But I'm sick of all this cat-and-mouse shit," Wheezy complained.

"Get over it," Smarty snapped. "And get in the back."

"Chicas ride shotgun," Greasy insisted, wrapping an arm around Jenna's waist. Stupid and Psycho slipped out of the driver's seat, and followed Wheezy to the back, leaving the two head weasels and their girlfriends to squeeze in the front.

"_Here kitty, here kitty kitty kitty_!" Psycho babbled from the back of the car, and they all drove away, cracking up.

* * *

_Review, please! :)_

_Sorry this chapter's so short! I'll make up for it next time, I promise!_


	36. Chapter 36

**Sorry, no shout-outs today, guys. I'm kind of pressed for time…but thanks to everyone who has reviewed and added this story to their favorites. You rock!**

Chapter Thirty-Six

Alicia had never really seen the inside of the Toon Town tunnel, but now this was her first chance. There was nothing to look at. It was black as night inside, but at the end, a cartoon curtain parted to make way for them, and the concrete road became an animated dirt path.

"Smile, darn ya, smile! You'll find the whole world is a great world after all!" Everything sang…even the Toon sun as they drovein.

"Too much yellow," Alicia shouted, shielding her eyes from it all. Eddie nodded his agreement and tried to avert his eyes as much as he could. Toons were running all over the place, no matter where they looked. A trio of talking birds flew up to them. They recognized Eddie and started talking to him.

"Hi Eddie, hi Eddie…bye, Eddie!" Eddie stared at them as they drove on, and Alicia was too distracted to scold him for not watching the road...so they crashed in the middle of the road, totaling the muffler and causing smoke rise from the engine.

"Next time, can I drive?" Alicia asked hopefully.

"No," he said sternly, and she pouted…but brightened a little when she saw a few familiar faces around her…even Snow White! She was escorting the Evil Queen across the street! Now, wasn't that odd…

"Hey, shoo! Go away!" Eddie muttered, swatting at some more animated birds that had appeared around his head after he banged it on the roof of his vehicle. Alicia then spotted their target: the silhouette of Jessica Rabbit was visible in the window of one of the Toon buildings.

"Come on, Eddie, I know where to find Jessica!" She said, and they walked away from the car and into the building.

* * *

"What is this place?" Alicia asked as they entered and walked down a hallway cluttered with Toon luggage and what-not.

"Some hotel," Valiant answered. "My brother and I stayed here a few times. Took Dolores here for a holiday once, but she didn't like it too much." They had reached an elevator, and he pressed his thumb against the button and waited.

"Going up, sir and madam," a low voice announced, and Alicia identified the speaker as none other than THE Droopy Dog…the second most pessimistic Toon known to mankind, along with Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Eddie took a step inside…and fell a few feet down. Alicia was extra careful when she joined him inside.

"Mind the steps, sir and madam. Hold on, sir and madam," he added as the elevator SHOT up to the very top floor. And Eddie was spread out on the floor, like a pancake. Alicia had been fortunate enough to flatten herself against the wall before they took off, so she was spared this misfortune.

DING! A small chime was heard as they reached their destination.

"Your floor, sir and madam," he grumbled, looking up at Eddie, who had been flung all around the elevator during their ride up.

"Next time, let's take the stairs," Alicia insisted as they stumbled out. Droopy stretched his neck out so that he was face-to-face with Eddie without having to leave his station.

"Have a good day, sir and madam." Droopy pulled his head in right before the doors closed. They walked up to the first door and Eddie peered through the keyhole, snooping and searching…

"Gotcha," Eddie whispered triumphantly and flung open the door. It looked like Jessica was busy doing laundry or something…but where was Roger? She turned to face him, and her usually seductive eyes lit up with excitement.

"A MAN," the Not-Jessica person shrieked. _This was not Jessica Rabbit_. No way on Heaven or Earth would Jessica Rabbit have funky teeth, a grotesque face, and such bad fashion sense. This was an imposter.

"Oh, crap, that's not Jessica!" Alicia groaned, realizing that she was in quite a predicament indeed…in fact; she WISHED that they had located Jessica rather than this freak.

"Yoo-hoo! Lover boy, come to Lena Hyena!" The lady was screaming behind them, and Eddie spotted one room that they could hide in. He grabbed Alicia's arm and tugged.

"Let's go!"

"I can't go in there; that's the MEN'S room!" She protested.

"Do you want to take your chances with Lena Hyena?" Alicia glanced back at the ugly Toon one last time, and shrugged.

"I can take her!"

"Oh, c'mon," Eddie growled, dragging her into the men's room. An OUT OF ORDER sign swung on the doorknob, but Alicia had the feeling that that wouldn't stop the hideous Hyena.

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_Review, please! :)_

_Sorry this chapter was short...tomorrow's will be way better, I swear!_


	37. Chapter 37

**In light of recent events involving my friend x-The Devil's Advocate-x, this story will be placed on a temporary hiatus. Rest assured, I will not abandon it completely. There will be updates from time to time as we (the real people featured in the fic) attempt to resolve the problems. Thank you all for your patience and understanding, and keep an eye out for future chapters! THIS WILL NOT BE ABANDONED.**

**In the meantime, the next installment in the Fangirls Series will be uploaded soon, featuring Lulu and Alicia as they discover the world of Finding Nemo. Hopefully the first chapter will be posted today.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey, hey, hey, I told you I wouldn't abandon this story! And I haven't! Here is a chapter before I go off on my retreat! If I don't update tomorrow or Saturday, I will see everyone on Sunday, okay?**

**Jafar—I haven't abandoned this story, I swear, and I have no intention of doing so. Thank you for your support, and thanks for reviewing.**

**Alicia—I'm back! And what better way to return than with a chapter full of you and Eddie?**

**greatbigsealover44—Thanks for the support here and with my Finding Nemo story. You rock!**

**And thanks to everyone who favorited or reviewed this story. You are the best people I know!**

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Alicia and Eddie stood in the room for a few moments, relishing in their brief freedom from the crazy Toon. But then they managed to glance down…and notice that there was no floor beneath them. They were standing on air, right outside of the building. As they fell, Eddie managed to grab onto a tree branch with one hand and wrap his free arm around Alicia's waist to keep her from falling. "We're stuck! How are we going to get out of this one?" She demanded. When she saw a familiar canary-like Toon approach them, she smiled, thinking that he would be able to help them, but he proved to be just the opposite.

"Oh, look, piggies!" He exclaimed.

"Hi, Tweety," Eddie mumbled.

"This little piggy went to market…this little piggy stayed home…" With every piggy he counted off, Tweety removed one of Eddie's fingers from the branch.

"Don't you dare," Alicia warned, managing to overlook the yellow bird's adorableness and scold him.

"Uh-oh…ran out of piggies," Tweety noted sadly.

"I hope Sylvester eats that little twerp," Alicia shouted as they continued to fall. They were joined by two of the most iconic Toons of all time: rivals Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny. Unlike the two humans, these Toons were safe from being killed by the impact of hitting the ground. For starters, they were Toons. And second, they had parachutes.

"Eh, what's up, Doc?" Bugs asked.

"Ha, ha, skydiving without a parachute is kind of dangerous. You could get killed! Ha, ha!" Mickey Mouse chuckled.

"Do you guys have a spare?" Eddie asked.

"Uh, Bugs does!" Mickey replied, pointing at the hare.

"But I don't think you want it!" The rabbit said in a sing-song voice.

"I do, I do, let us have it!" Eddie shouted.

"Gee, ha, I think you better do what he says, Bugs," Mickey called out nervously.

"Okay, whatever you say, Doc," Bugs smirked, handing Eddie a large back marked SPARE. Eddie opened it, and Alicia knew that it was large enough to help both of them reach the ground safely. He grabbed onto one side of it, and Alicia grabbed the other. They tugged on the opening, and they didn't see what they were hoping to find. It was a spare tire!

"Oh, no!" Eddie shouted as they continued to fall.

"Gee, poor fellows," Mickey said, looking down at the falling humans.

"Ain't I a stinker?" Bugs chuckled, nibbling on a carrot.

Eddie was fortunate to be caught by the dreaded Lena Hyena, who planted a big smooch on Eddie's face. Alicia landed on the ground, much like Roger Rabbit from one of his most popular movies: Tummy Trouble. Eddie managed to break free of Lena's arms and ran down the street. Lena followed at a record-breaking speed. Alicia suddenly had an idea. She grabbed onto the painted stripe of the street and moved it so that it faced the wall closest to them. Lena fell for her trap and ran directly into the wall, causing her to get knocked out, complete with the cartoon stars flying around her head.

"Toons…gets them every time," Eddie muttered triumphantly. "Nice work, Alicia."

"Thanks," she blushed. "Where are we going now?"

"I have no idea," he admitted. "But something tells me that we're not gonna find what we're looking for by being out in the open. I think we should try Gingerbread Lane, and I know a shortcut." He gestured for Alicia to follow him, and they ducked into the shadows behind the buildings.

"This place gives me the creeps," Alicia complained, looking around the filthy alley they stood in. There weren't any rats around, for which she was grateful. But shady Toons could be hiding anywhere, and she jumped at the slightest noise.

"Achoo!" Eddie sneezed.

"Gesundheit," the shadow of Eddie said as it appeared to gain a form of its own and a Toon-like appearance.

"Valiant!" The usually controlled voice of Jessica had just a hint of urgency as it rang out behind them. Alicia was the first to turn around and see her standing at the end of the alley and holding a gun pointed at them.

"Eddie, she has a gun," she warned.

"Always knew I'd get it in Toon Town," he smirked, reflecting on the irony of his statement. And Alicia gulped and waited for the inevitable…

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_Review, please! :)_

_And for those of you who haven't seen Tummy Trouble, it's on YouTube. Go check it out._


	39. Chapter 39

**Ah, updates, I love thee. Now, where was I? Oh, yes! Okay, so here's the deal…I know that I said that I was going to go back to daily updates with my Finding Nemo story, but a lot of crap keeps coming up, so every time I go on a non-updating spree with that story, I'll make up for it with an update for this story. That way everybody wins!**

**dream lighting—I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Keep reading and reviewing!**

**greatbigsealover44—I never liked him, either. And as long as the people keep reviewing, I'll keep updating. You rock!**

**Alicia—I got started on small bits for The Princess Bride story, but I also started planning a potential Inuyasha story, too! And yeah, I hated him, too. GASPS! Do you know what we should do? A Looney Tunes fan fiction! I call keep-offsies on Wile E. Coyote and Marvin the Martian!**

**Hearts Aglow—LOL! I do, too! *hugs* Thanks for reviewing!**

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Quick, behind you," Jessica shouted, firing a bullet at them. Only after they turned around did Alicia realize that it was the shadow of a certain evil judge that she had been aiming at. But just as quickly as she noticed it, it vanished.

"Drop it, lady!" Eddie ordered, pointing his own weapon at her.

"I just saved your life, and you still don't trust me?" She asked, letting the gun land next to her on the ground.

"I don't trust anybody or anything!" He snarled.

"Not even me?" Alicia wilted.

"Not even your own eyes?" Jessica asked. "That's the gun that killed R.K. Maroon, and Doom pulled the trigger. I followed him to the studio, but I was too late to stop him."

"That's right!" They looked up to see the judge running down a different alley. "You're dead! You're all dead!" Eddie fired three bullets after him, but they stopped in the middle of the alley, talked amongst each other, and dashed in a different direction, much to Eddie's displeasure.

"Dum-dums," he sneered, tossing the gun aside, although Alicia almost pointed out that he had an extra bullet left. But given the intelligence level of the others, she doubted that they would have much luck with the one that was left.

"Come on!" Jessica cried, grabbing Eddie's arm and dragging him into a different alley. Alicia followed, hoping that Toons could have their heads melted when a human glared at them. "Oh, no, where's Roger? And where are the girls?" Jessica's hideous car had crashed into a mountain of junk, and it looked like it had been robbed. The trunk of her car was open.

"You should know! You were the one that took them!" Alicia accused.

"No, you've got it all wrong. I hit Roger on the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk of my car so that he wouldn't get hurt," she explained. "And then I did the same with your two friends because they needed to be kept safe, too."

"That makes so much sense. I also believe the moon is made of cheese and that I can flap my hands and fly to Mars whenever I feel like it," she said sarcastically. Jessica ignored her.

"Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours," she suggested to Eddie.

"I have a feeling somebody already did," Eddie grimaced, pointing to the damage that had been done with a vehicle. A poor fire hydrant had been destroyed in a crash, but the car involved was still intact. Skid marks were etched so deeply in the road that Alicia was sure that they'd be permanent. And the crashes and screams of brakes being slammed on were still audible, even from a distance.

"From the looks of it, I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never good behind the wheel."

"A better lover than a driver, huh?" Eddie chuckled.

"You better believe it, buster," Jessica snorted, taking his jab a little too seriously. As soon as she finished speaking, the sound of sirens droning through the night grew louder as a familiar car came into view. "Uh-oh! It's the Toon Patrol! Let's take Gingerbread Lane!"

"No, wait, Gingerbread Lane is that way!" Eddie shouted, pointing with his thumb. Benny appeared right on cue, grinning at the detective.

"So, Valiant, you call a cab or what? Allow me, mademoiselle," he purred after laying his eyes on Jessica. He opened the door just for her.

"How long have you known that it was Doom?" Eddie questioned as they sped down the road.

"Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toon Town, and he wouldn't stop at anything."

"So he gave you the will for safe-keeping?" Eddie concluded. Alicia nodded. Now the pieces were starting to fit together.

"That's what he told me, but when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank sheet of paper."

"Ha! A joker to the end."

"But why would the judge want to get his 'hands on Toon Town' if he's already running the law here?" Alicia asked. "He practically owns the Toons!"

"Who doesn't want more power?" Eddie shrugged. "It's the classic villain motivation. I don't know who the Toonier guy is: him or Roger."

"So where to already? My meter's running!" Benny shouted.

"Do we really have to pay a fee on the days that we're trying to save lives?" Alicia asked, raising her voice to be heard. She didn't get an answer.

"I have to find my darling husband! I'm so worried about him!" Jessica declared, massaging her forehead as she thought of him.

"Seriously, what do you see in that guy?" He wondered. Alicia was busy trying to figure out why Eddie suddenly found what Jessica thought was attractive in men so important.

"He makes me laugh."

Alicia pretended to do a spit-take. "You have a sense of humor?"

"All Toons do," the Toon lady said primly. Even Eddie raised his eyebrows at that statement, but turned his attention back to the road as they left Toon Town. Alicia smirked a little, thinking back to a line from one of Roger's cartoons. "It's smooth sailing from now on." In the cartoon, he landed into a mountain of dynamite. But in the real world, Doom was standing by the side of the road ahead of them, like a sinister hitchhiker. The judge knocked the barrel of Dip over into the street, melting the animated rubber off of Benny's tires when he skidded into it. The resulting crash sent Eddie, Jessica, and Alicia flying through the air.

"What an unfortunate accident. There's nothing more dangerous than a slippery road, especially when one is driving in a maniacal Toon vehicle," the judge scolded, standing over them and wielding his cane. Alicia glanced at their escape car, but he was a mess. Even though his tires had been dipped, his whole image was melting. He was just falling apart. And it wouldn't do much good to run…the Toon Patrol had arrived, laughing and cheering with triumph.

"Okay. We're Doomed." She couldn't decide which was worse: being killed or dipped. But she knew that they would all have to suffer the wrath of the judge in a matter of time.

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